Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...

0
‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

8
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy

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The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

3
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

9
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Sean Spicer

White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials

10
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of  denials denying denials. "We knew about Mr Trump's links to...

Trump challenges Nancy Pelosi to MMA fight

0
In perhaps his most bizarre tweet ever Donald Trump has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a fight in the "Pentagon". On the eve of his expected...
Sea Wall

Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms

14
Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes,...

Trump tells California to use prostitute piss to put fires out

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POTATUS has offered to use Government money to harvest the piss of some Russian prostitutes to douse the fires in California. A spokesman said, "POTATUS...

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

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A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

0
In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...
Book

Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists

0
As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...
Fuck

Seriously?

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I mean, just....Fuck,  Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.  A spokesman for minorities everywhere said; "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck...
Guns

Why does this keep happening, asks country selling guns without doing background checks

0
A country who sells weapons over the counter to anybody who wants one is stumped at how it can be home to so many...

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

9
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.

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