Executioner with axe

U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution

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Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

Virginia to ban books instead of burning them

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Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.  To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Donald Trump

Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...

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News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course...

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

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A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.

Trump hails record amount of pussy to grab in the House of Representatives

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Donald Trump has spoken of how great it is that there's now so much pussy to grab when he next visits the House of...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy

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The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

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Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th...
Donald Trump

Half of Trump Supporters Gullible Obese Idiots and the other Half deplorable Racist A-holes...

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In the wake of the "scandal" surrounding Hillary Clinton's comments describing half of Trump supporters as a "basket of deplorables", The Rochdale Herald commissioned...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

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The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...
Donald Trump Wig

‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian

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The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
Tony Montana

Tony Montana to become new White House communications director

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Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today. Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...

Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off

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Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of...

President Trump outlaws Donald Trump in white supremacists condemnation order

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American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists...
Scared Office Worker

Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci

2
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...

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