Terrifying clown in next Stephen King film to be perma-tanned and have a combover

10
Stephen King took to twitter today to reveal a juicy nugget regarding his next movie project, ’Idiot’, a sequel to ‘It’, will feature a...
Donald Trump

Bloke who fancies his daughter lies about woman marrying her brother

0
A bloke who wants to shag his daughter has suggested that a top US politician should be investigated for marrying her brother. Incest enthusiast and...

Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party

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Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.   Kavanaugh, whose nomination...

Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination

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The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Gun old lady

Why does this keep happening, ask imbeciles who keep selling guns to people who...

0
Fuckwits in America who keep blocking gun control reform have been forced to once again ask the question "why do mass shootings happen over...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

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Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

0
Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...

Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...

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Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...

Trump demands resignation of Dow Jones

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White House sources reveal alleged serial sex offender, proven serial failed businessman and currently failing POTUS Donald J Trump has called for the head...
Police

US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”

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US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...
The Mooch

Scaramucci denies snorting cocaine in front of White House press corp

5
Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his...
Donald Trump

Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...

0
An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...
Trump voters deface police recruitment poster with Trump Sticker

Trump voters deface Police posters with Trump stickers

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Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump. The multi-million...

Hilary Clinton’s emails confirm she would have already nuked North Korea

1
Further extracts reveal she had plans to construct “Wall Street on the Korean Peninsula” once the “dust and stuff has settled.”

President Trump outlaws Donald Trump in white supremacists condemnation order

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American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists...

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