America

Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up to a staggering total of 357 years. Formerly known as the...

President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the neck and face instead. “Melania hates the taste of my goodly...

The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history out of text books for future generations. Professor Walter Whitman said; "When...

There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that a Trump appointed diplomat can read and write. "It took us...

Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of being a drunken arsehole, pissing in public, smashing doors...

The Secret Service, the department responsible for the security of the US President, has taken steps to distance themselves from Donald Trump's Twitter account.

“Bannon great American. Cant find greater. So great. Greater than Kennedy. Kennedy loser. Got shot. Only losers get shot. Couldnt even drive own car. Bannon deserve medal for participation at White Hoise! Turned up every day even when I didn't!”

Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs in his heels he would have personally prevented the massacre...

POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires. POTATUS got the idea after discovering that there are no forest fires in Antartica. In...

Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination. In yet another blow for world peace, global stability and perhaps even the...

President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well known for saying that global warming is a scam perpetrated...

President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was expected to only affect libtard and snowflake university students, and make...

Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than a priest in a daycare centre," in an attempt to...

The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.

A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.  Mike and Barbara Greenhorn told reporters that they believe the 70 year-old businessman...