David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Trump

Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters

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Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

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The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...

Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded

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Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
Elephants

NRA claims that fewer elephants would be shot by hunters if more of them...

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The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they...
Police

US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them

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Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting

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So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...

Am I Mexican? Ask Trump voters after he says USA will pay for Wall

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The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation...

Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

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Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's. It is being reported around the world...

Trump Train derailed by Reddit

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Would-be U.S.President and serial bigot, Donald Trump awoke this morning to find his dreams of becoming the most powerful man on the planet in...

President Trump outlaws Donald Trump in white supremacists condemnation order

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American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Donald Trump awarded prestigious Time Magazine Dickhead of the Year Award

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Donald Trump has been awarded the Time Magazine prestigious Hitler of the Year Award and is said to be "honoured" by the accolade.

Trump trumped by top trumpeters

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Six anti-Trump trumpeters who had been tunefully disrupting the presidential candidate on the campaign trail have been silenced - temporarily.  The musicians from the San...

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