The repeated outbursts of hatemongering, sabre-rattling or just plain stupidity, emanating from the lips, press statements or usually the tweets, of Donald Trump, have stopped surprising people, it has been confirmed.
In a recent survey, the results were almost unanimous. Of the 1729 people polled, 1728 of them said they expressed no surprise at all at any faux pas made by Trump.
“Well, it’s just same-old same-old now, isn’t it?” said Betty Duzzittergen, 47. “Every time there’s a disaster, he just opens his mouth wide and puts his foot right in. If he ever makes a statement without making himself look like a dick, then I’ll be surprised.”
Willie Everlern, 31, agreed entirely. “There’s a shooting, he refuses to condemn the shooter, unless he’s black or Muslim. There’s a natural disaster, he accuses the victims of not doing enough to help themselves. You wouldn’t think anyone could get it wrong absolutely all the time, but he does. One of these days he’ll get something right, and then we’ll all be doing a double-take.”
The exact point at which people stopped being surprised is debatable, as different people have different levels of patience, but the majority consensus of those polled said the Nazi incident in Charlotte was the point at which they stopped believing him capable of getting anything right.
The one person polled who didn’t agree with the majority was a small man who claimed not to remember his name, and when asked how surprised he was at the continued vitriol from Donald Trump, asked, “who’s Donald Trump?”
I thought about calling a doctor for him but decided against it as he’s probably the happiest person on the planet right now.