Wayne La Pierre

Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...

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The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times

4
Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged. Sources close to the president have informed the...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

Madame Tussauds new Trump wax work backs out of inauguration

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Madame Tussauds have declined to exhibit their new Trump wax work at the impending inauguration on Friday. Simon Wick, a spokesman for Tussauds said; "Its nothing...

Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...

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Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
Trump Bed

Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him

32
The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...

Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an...
Police

US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”

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US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...

New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...

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Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

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The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...

Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...

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Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...

Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course

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President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...
Donald Genius Trump

Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics

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President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...

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