Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.

The incident happened at Trump’s sprawling, gold leaf and shag pile Florida estate, Mar a Lago, on Tuesday when Mr Trump saw handyman, Juan Dirècion, use a ladder to hang a nine foot tall portrait of Mr Trump on the wall of one of the estate’s 3,000 square foot en suite bathrooms.

The portrait of Mr Trump, which was bought using charitable donations to the Trump foundation cost more than $350,000 dollars, was painted with chimpanzee faeces, orangutan hair and gold glitter.

The revelation that ladders exist came as something of a shock to the seventy year old flip flopping film flam enthusiast who happens to be the president elect of the United States.

An inside source told us that there was about seven or eight minutes of intense debate about what was to be done about the Mexican ladder industry before the entire wall plan was scrapped.

“Donald’s first response was to drone strike all of Latin and Central America’s ladder factories.” Chiquita Lopez, a 57 year old undocumented cleaner who has worked for Donald Trump for 35 years told us. “But then somebody explained what a shovel was to Donald and he decided the wall probably wasn’t going to work.”

Mr Trump has also decided to keep Obamacare.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.