‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...
"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Donald Trump ‘very sorry’ for accidentally nuking North Carolina
As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred.
With the...
‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
Why does this keep happening, asks country selling guns without doing background checks
A country who sells weapons over the counter to anybody who wants one is stumped at how it can be home to so many...
I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...
I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump
Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.
Rochdale man released from US prison after Trump repeals ‘Merry Christmas’ ban
A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for.
Percy...
Obama speech on Trump: untwist your knickers, it’ll be alright
Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than...
Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward
It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
Donald Trump could pardon himself of crime he definitely didn’t commit
Donald Trump could pardon himself of a crime he repeatedly says he hasn't committed. That's according to his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.
Giuliani said, "It may...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Short range nuclear missiles made available to American public in bid to reduce gun...
Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public were shot...
Alphabet distances itself from Trump
Following the 45th POTUS' increasingly alarming and inaccurate claims, statements and threats, it seems that one particular organisation has had enough.
The Alphabet released a...
Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%
Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...
UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”
Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the...
