Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket
Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket.
The...
Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...
Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un
President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...
Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward
It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage
A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage.
Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...
US celebrates Independence Day by ceding from Trump
Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as...
Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design
The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces.
The...
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas
Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning.
The news comes after...
State of emergency declared as Hurricane Dorian heads towards rich white people
Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week.
The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and...
Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award.
Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...
President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...
It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...
Donald Trump awarded prestigious Time Magazine Dickhead of the Year Award
Donald Trump has been awarded the Time Magazine prestigious Hitler of the Year Award and is said to be "honoured" by the accolade.
Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US.
He is well...
