Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star
News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
A Mexican man...
It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas
Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning.
The news comes after...
Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...
More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.
It has become the...
Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump
It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.
Donald Trump ‘very sorry’ for accidentally nuking North Carolina
As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred.
With the...
Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times
Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans.
The Mayor said, "I...
Bill Clinton Gives Trump His “Little Black Book”
Bill Clinton, who famously began his Presidency by drawing up a list of every woman in America between the ages of 18 and 35, has formally handed over his Little Black Book to President Trump.
Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards
President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards.
The well-known website which describes itself as a "salute...
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination
Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination.
In yet another...
Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate
The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...
