Soldier

U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”

0
It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction. This baffling...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

0
In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

0
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...

IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...

0
Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS. The order was placed...

Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns

0
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.
Donald Genius Trump

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

0
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

1
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...

Trump credited with restoring American faith in Bush

0
Donald Trump has been given credit for restoring America's faith in Bush. One Bush expert told us, "10 years ago American faith in Bush was...
Scared Office Worker

Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci

2
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...
Trump Walking

Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened

0
Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
Donald Trump

Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...

0
News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course...
Rambo on a horse

Producers of Rambo 3 sue Donald Trump for plagiarising film plot for Afghanistan strategy

9
The producers of Rambo 3 are allegedly suing Donald Trump for copyright infringements based on his Afghanistan strategy. Mr Trump was initially very cold on...

Latin America overdoses on Irony as CIA complains Russia rigged US election

1
Thousands of people are feared dead in Central and Latin America this week after literally laughing their heads off at the news that the...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

37
Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election. Mr Weinstein gained support from a...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

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The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...
Scaramucci

I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...

18
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...

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