Hilary Clinton’s emails confirm she would have already nuked North Korea
Further extracts reveal she had plans to construct “Wall Street on the Korean Peninsula” once the “dust and stuff has settled.”
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Trump sues porn star for breaching confidentiality agreement about affair he claims not to...
Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says...
Scaramucci denies snorting cocaine in front of White House press corp
Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
Bloke who fancies his daughter lies about woman marrying her brother
A bloke who wants to shag his daughter has suggested that a top US politician should be investigated for marrying her brother.
Incest enthusiast and...
Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas
Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas.
With...
Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference
President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference.
Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened.
"Mr...
Rock Scaramucci crawled out from under refuses to take him back
Having been unceremoniously sacked as President Trump's director of communications after only ten days and divorced by his wife, Anthony Scaramucci has now suffered...
If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...
Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...
Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course
President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...
Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country
Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly...
Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
