Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

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Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...

Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar

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POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...

Gigantic orange adult toddler in misogyny veteran sacrifice spat

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Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter. The Toddler is running for the...

Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother

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After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother. The...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

Trump tells California to use prostitute piss to put fires out

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POTATUS has offered to use Government money to harvest the piss of some Russian prostitutes to douse the fires in California. A spokesman said, "POTATUS...

Light spectroscopy confirms Trump wears a toupee and it’s 70% alpaca

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Donald Trump's hair is partly fake, and the fake part is not even human hair, but alpaca, scientists working for NASA's Astronomical spectroscopy division...

Trump apology shocks nation   

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In a move that has shocked the world the shredded wheat headed presidential candidate Donald Trump has actually apologised for something. His apology was aimed...
Trump Supporters

52% Of Trump Supporters Can’t Find America On A Map

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When it was pointed out to them exactly where America lay on the map, many of them seemed disappointed that it wasn’t the whole of North America from Mexico upwards.

Trump demands phone number for Ghostbusters after being visited by three spirits

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President of the United States of America, Donald Trump is demanding to know how to get in touch with the Ghostbusters, it has been...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

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President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

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Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...

Trump trumped by top trumpeters

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Six anti-Trump trumpeters who had been tunefully disrupting the presidential candidate on the campaign trail have been silenced - temporarily.  The musicians from the San...
Book

Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists

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As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...

President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...

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It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...

Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist

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Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race. After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...

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