King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony
Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is to perform...
Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
Secret Service distance themselves from Trump’s Twitter account
The Secret Service, the department responsible for the security of the US President, has taken steps to distance themselves from Donald Trump's Twitter account.
Da Vinci’s ‘My Spunky Pantaloons’ sells for £45m
A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m.
The jizzy kecks will be...
Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...
Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
Rank outsider sweeps to completely surprising victory in Turkish Presidential election
A rank-outsider has swept to victory in Turkey's presidential election defying the odds to secure a third five year term.
Election authority chief said "imagine...
Haiti sends aid to holidaymakers whose trip to Disneyworld was cancelled
Heartwarming news reaching us from Haiti today after they'd heard that Amanda Bangor and her family from Norden had their trip to Disneyland cancelled because of...
UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar
With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...
Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage
In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...
Incest enthusiast congratulates infidelity enthusiast
Amateur golfer and incest enthusiast Donald Trump has congratulated the UK's infidelity champion Boris Johnson on becoming the latest worst Prime Minister in living...
World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling
Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.
The current record was set in...
Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...
The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
WW3 inevitable as Boris Johnson prank calls Putin and leaves burning bag of dog...
Hetrosexual Russian leader, Vladimir Putin immediately responded by sending a fleet of Grade 50 ballistic war ships to British waters.
He then instructed 4 million...
Pound Hits New High of “20 Bundles of Corn” as USA Adopts Barter System
The US Dollar has been abandoned and the Barter System adopted following Donald Trump's victory in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Fort Knox are...
