Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

North Korea won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on their...

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North Korea state media shouted the revelation this morning that Kim Jong-un won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on North...

Trump Train derailed by Reddit

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Would-be U.S.President and serial bigot, Donald Trump awoke this morning to find his dreams of becoming the most powerful man on the planet in...
Donald Trump

New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal

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Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...

James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot

The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

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Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...
White House

White House denies that men in white coats are coming to take Trump away

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Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the...

People attending reading of Hefner’s last will only doing so for the articles

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Various well known public figures, and nobodies, have announced today they intend to be at the reading of Hugh Hefner’s last will and testament,...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

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Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

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Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

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Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
FBI Directors till Christmas

Only two FBI directors until Christmas

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Christmas is coming, the POTUS is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man's retirement fund. Following the latest Trumptastrophy in Alabama,...

Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day

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In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to...

Mexican earthquake disaster: whose faultline is it anyway?

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At the Herald, we do not make fun of the suffering of innocent disaster victims, but we do point fingers. Less Mock the Weak,...
Donald Trump female

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

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Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I...

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