Drinking

Consternation as Britain drops out of top 10 drinking nations

There was consternation last night when it was revealed that the United Kingdom has dropped to 12 in the global drinking league tables. The country has...
Donald Trump

New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal

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Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Donald Genius Trump

Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics

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President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...

Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

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Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America. Rich...
Ferrero Roche

Nigel Farage spends £1,000 on Ferrero Rocher ‘just in case’

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Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...

God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood

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Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed"...
Trump

Trump says he misspoke when he said Stalin was an excellent strong leader

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Donald Trump has said that he misspoke when he described Joseph Stalin as an excellent strong leader. Trump was replying to reporters who sought clarification...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...
Farage in Russian hat

Kremlins useful idiots deny that they’re Kremlins useful idiots

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A bunch of useful idiots have denied that they are useful idiots today after a series of e-mails seemed to prove that they were...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

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Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

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The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Donald Trump

Half of Trump Supporters Gullible Obese Idiots and the other Half deplorable Racist A-holes...

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In the wake of the "scandal" surrounding Hillary Clinton's comments describing half of Trump supporters as a "basket of deplorables", The Rochdale Herald commissioned...
Rex Tillerson

Moron who called moron a moron fired by moron

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In a completely expected turn of events, a moron has fired the moron who called him a moron and replaced him with, presumably, another...

All your medals belong to us – Says China

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As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's...

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