Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket
Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket.
The...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’
Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."
Deadly brain eating microbe starves to death in Texas water supply
Brain eating microbes in the water supply in Lake Jackson Texas have been found either starved to death or suffering from extreme malnutrition.
Tests have...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
Even Hitler didn’t treat his press secretary as badly as this says Sean Spicer
Sean Spicer has been explaining how badly he has been treated by Donald Trump. Speaking to an assembled press corps Mr Spicer said, "Even...
Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble
A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble.
Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...
UN convene emergency meeting over Ant and Dec crisis
The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently.
The...
Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement.
"I've been thinking about...
Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald
The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is...
Julian Assange Loses Porn Privileges
Long term squatter julian Assange has lost his internet porn privileges at the Ecuadorian Embassy, where he lives in a cupboard, The Rochdale Herald...
Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call
Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far.
"Trump come to...
Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles
In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...
Reality TV to blame for increase in number of f*cknuggets being elected president, say...
Reality TV is to blame for the number of imbeciles and ding-a-lings who are being elected president of the United States, video games have...
Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney
As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
