New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...
Trump:May

Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...

1
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...

?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure

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The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed. Ishit Yu Not,...

Trump barred from White House toilets

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President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was...

Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump

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It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

3
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...

Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI

The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

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The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...

Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

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A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...

Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court

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Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault. Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...

PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe

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In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount...
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

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A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...
Sea Wall

Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms

14
Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes,...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

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Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
Children Running

Teaching children to Zig Zag best way to avoid school shooting fatalities, say NRA

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In the wake of yet another mass school shooting in the USA the National Rifle Association have suggested that the tragedy could have been...

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