Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...
Donald Trump

I will sue my victims says Donald Trump

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Donald Trump has vowed to track down and sue all of his victims after the presidential elections.
UFO

Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders

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It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Trump Salute

Trump demands to see soldier’s long form death certificate

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Donald Trump has demanded that the widow of Sgt La David Johnson release his long form death certificate following a row about whether or...

Anonymous declare war on ISIS for 4657th time.

The group Anonymous have today declared war on ISIS for the 4657th time. A spokesman for the group said, "ISIS should prepare for a fate...
White Supremes

Tribute band ‘The White Supremes’ enjoying huge boost in bookings

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The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The...

Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret

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Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin. "Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...

If All the Jews had died in the Holocaust then Saturday’s massacre wouldn’t have...

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POTATUS, Donald Trump attended a memorial for the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting yesterday.   After publicly stating that people should come together...

Eric Trump banned from All-Valley Championships after breaking Daniel Larusso’s leg

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There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships. In a blow to the...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

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The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...
Donald Trump

President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill

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Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...
Guns for sale

Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem

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A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...

Trump tells reporters that he’s cured Megadeth

POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he's cured Megadeth today. In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, "You know what's amazing?...

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