Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world
"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...
Consternation as Britain drops out of top 10 drinking nations
There was consternation last night when it was revealed that the United Kingdom has dropped to 12 in the global drinking league tables.
The country has...
Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his
administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff.
"Edison fake American....
Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
Mexican earthquake disaster: whose faultline is it anyway?
At the Herald, we do not make fun of the suffering of innocent disaster victims, but we do point fingers. Less Mock the Weak,...
Donald Trump’s penis is largest the world has ever seen says Donald Trump
Donald Trump has asked his propaganda secretary, Sean Spicer, to assure The White House press corps that President Trump's penis is "the largest penis in the history of penises. Period!"
Straya, Blue Skies and Fascists
As the Federal Government makes further progress towards a Fascist state, it’s been a busy day in Australian politics.
Alphabet distances itself from Trump
Following the 45th POTUS' increasingly alarming and inaccurate claims, statements and threats, it seems that one particular organisation has had enough.
The Alphabet released a...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund
In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...
Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award.
Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...
Women remain underrepresented amongst Taliban leadership
It has been revealed that women remain underrepresented amongst the leadership of the Afghan terrorist group the Taliban.
An internal review carried out by...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces
New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK.
According to sources close to the FA, the...
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
Putin sacks head of US State Department Rex Tillerson
WASHINGTON - The leader of the United States, President Vladimir Putin, announced Tuesday morning that he had fired his Secretary State Rex Tillerson and...
