Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him
Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held...
Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech
Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.
Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas
In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas.
One...
Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid
The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.
Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US
President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...
President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill
Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail
Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker...
Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...
Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.
Syrians praying for UK dog owners tonight
People across Syria are united in prayer tonight as Britain is bombarded with heavy rounds of fireworks, the worst we've seen in weeks.
"It's horrendous"...
Mike Pence unhappy ‘in transition’
Vice-President elect Mike Pence is expected to ask Donald Trump to move him to another area after becoming unhappy as part of the incoming Republican’s transition...
Trump campaign starts selling dog whistles
Donald Trump's 2020 re-election campaign has debuted a new range of MAGA dog whistles at a rally in Florida this past weekend.
Florida Trump fan...
‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
White House Christmas card to feature Donald Trump high-fiving the Ku Klux Klan’s Imperial...
The White House's official 2017 Christmas card will feature President Donald Trump high-fiving the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, a spokesperson confirmed...
Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans
Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
