I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Vladimir Putin invites world leaders ’round to mine for drinks and nibbles’
Vladimir Putin has today appealed for calm amid the escalating tension between Russia and the rest of the world, and has invited all current...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Che Guevara’s beret gift from Corbyn confirms Che Guevara’s Dad John McDonnell
John McDonnell has taken to social media today to confirm rumours that Che Guevara's trademark beret was a gift from Jeremy Corbyn.
All guns to be armed with guns
In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a...
Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders
Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat.
One spokesperson said, "It's been...
Trump tells reporters that he’s cured Megadeth
POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he's cured Megadeth today.
In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, "You know what's amazing?...
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
A country full of religious crackpots shouldn’t have nuclear weapons, says country full of...
A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme.
Hassan...
Alphabet distances itself from Trump
Following the 45th POTUS' increasingly alarming and inaccurate claims, statements and threats, it seems that one particular organisation has had enough.
The Alphabet released a...
Marine Le Pen demands Malian be charged with breaking and entering
Marine Le Pen has demanded to know why a Malian refugee was given citizenship and not arrested for breaking and entering over the weekend....
Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off
Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up.
The lying git said that his description of...
Downing Street all go for Bojo Moscow no show
Downing Street has defended its decision not to send Boris Johnson to Russia on Monday.
The decision came in the aftermath of the chemical weapons...
Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was...
Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times
Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged.
Sources close to the president have informed the...
