Corbyn pledges to end Syrian War with tea and a Wagon Wheel
Jeremy Corbyn has today promised to end the bloody civil war that has plagued Syria for the last 4 years with nothing but good...
Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke
Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke.
"Everything was looking good,...
Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government
There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...
Satan refuses cabinet position in reshuffle
In a surprising turn of events Satan has declined an offer to join Theresa May's new cabinet saying it would be "damaging" to his reputation.
Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains
Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections...
Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC.
Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
Corbyn’s reelection met with scenes of ecstatic jubilation
There were scenes of unprecedented jubilation at the news of the corduroy communist Corbyn's reelection at Downing Street today.
A spokes-Sloan for the Tory Party...
Relief as Theresa May and Arlene Foster finish scissoring out a deal
“It was no time for hammering,” confirmed the Prime Minister, “we had quite enough of a hammering in the election, which we still, I...
May May trigger Brexit in May? Maybe
Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent.
The slogan...
It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
Nuttall Calls Fraud On Stoke
Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s caretaker leader, has upset the Westminster apple cart by demanding a recount of votes in the Stoke by election.
“I want to...
Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...
Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".
Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim
Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim.
The emergency services responded...
Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences.
"It's an outrage!" stated...
