Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

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Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...
Tory

Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative

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Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister...

French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais

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British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...

Government announces new mascot for Brexit Will of the People

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Brexit Minister, David Davis, today announced the launch of a new campaign which aims to give Britain's exit from the European Union a more...

Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama

8
Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.

Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

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Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind...

Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes

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Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month. The Home Office has also announced that all...

Theresa May unable to un-grit her teeth after assuring Boris that he can keep...

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Number 10 have confirmed today that Theresa May’s teeth are well and truly gritted and not coming unstuck anytime soon. Whilst seen as a potential...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...

ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

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America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...
Angry Toddler

Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations

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David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...

Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch

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Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand...

Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban

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International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party...
Adolf Hitler

Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book

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A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...

Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine

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After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road." His...

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