Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery

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There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled. The news comes after many...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

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Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...

Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy

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Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...

Right wing extremist appears on Good Morning Britain to interview Tommy Robinson

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Good Morning Britain producers made the controversial choice today of asking a divisive, opinionated, loud mouth to appear on their show. Piers Morgan was...
Corbyn

Corbyn sacks last of Shadow Cabinet who didn’t resign last year

3
In a shock move Friday Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn sacked all of his shadow ministers who didn't resign last year in protest at his...

Nuttall Calls Fraud On Stoke

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Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s caretaker leader, has upset the Westminster apple cart by demanding a recount of votes in the Stoke by election. “I want to...

Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

1
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...

Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep

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A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.

Brexiter says his raison d’être is to keep English for the english

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Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he...

Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings

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Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...

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Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...

Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation

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After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...

ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement

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Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics. In an interview he...
UKIP

Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains

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Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

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Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...

Miley Cyrus to sue Boris Johnson for £350M over unauthorised cover of “Wrecking Ball”

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The worlds of entertainment and politics appear to have combined this morning with the speculation that pop superstar Miley Cyrus is expected to sue...

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