Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus

1
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus. "It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike" Smith drew...
Trump in a barrel

American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...

8
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

0
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

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A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...

Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals

0
 Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

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Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...

UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...

0
The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

114
Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...

Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options

5
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...

Tory superbug found in pigs

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A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

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The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...
Rats

Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation

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Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively. The...
Theresa May

Argos refuse to exchange or refund anymore Theresa May-bots

1
Shoppers in the UK were shocked by a press release this morning from popular retailer Argos, who state they will not exchange or refund...
Theresa May

May supported by Cabinet, which was put together by same carpenter who hung Conference...

0
The PM today insisted that she is fully supported by her cabinet; a flat-pack Nordik 465 Ikea bedside cabinet in white Formica, that she...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

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Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation

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After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...

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