Blair and Branson to form New Virgin Labour

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An email leaked to the Independent has revealed that billionaire Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson (MBE OBE BFD) is to bankroll Lord Sir Tony...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson feared dead?

3
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows

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In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...

Nigel Farage thrilled to hold onto Question Time Seat

Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit...

Historians will look back at 2016 as a major catalyst. They won’t remember celebrity...

0
Whilst you were all distracted with American politics and the ins and outs of Article 50 being triggered, the government has passed the controversial...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

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Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still an attractive pig says David Cameron

1
Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

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In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...

Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party

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After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure. The Tory Party has long...

London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift

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Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

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A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

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It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Obi Wan Kenobi

Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...

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Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We...
Gays

Dead gays thrilled at posthumous pardons for jail terms and chemical castrations

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Dead gays celebrated accross the country today as the 'Alan Turing Law' was unveiled by government, effectively absolving them of wrong doing for having a...

Corbyn hospitalised after collapse

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Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .  The incident occurred just moments after...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

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Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...

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