Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...
Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement.
Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said;
"We...
Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama
Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.
Michael Gove concedes sushi made from poisonous blowfish should be made by an expert
Michael Gove, the man who claimed Britain had “had enough of experts” would appear to have at least some time for them, at least...
Simon Danczuk expected to volunteer as UKIP teenage pussy inspector
"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast...
Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".
I’m President of what? Asks Donald Trump
After the shock of winning the popularity contest "President Factor", President elect Trump has now talked about his next career move. We asked him...
Tony Blair reveals ‘only God can judge me’ tattoo
Tony Blair has revealed his new tattoo. Mr Blair got the tattoo during a drunken night at Silvio Berlusconi's villa. The tattoo says, "Only...
Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position
As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit.
So we...
Government’s Brexit staff all writing “Trekking in Nepal” on CV’s
Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV's today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as "Trekking in Nepal".
All the...
Monster Raving Looney Party rejects Douglas Carswell for being TOO weird
Having survived a terror attack last Thursday the British parliament has been delivered another shock with the news that the Official Monster Raving Loony...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club
In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...
Department Responsible For Brexit Does A Flit
Following heavy criticism for having achieved sweet Fanny Adams in the numerous months since its creation, workers at the Department for Exiting the European...
Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high
A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said
"She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least...
The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission."
"Well, I tried to...
Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains
The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...
