Theresa May to meet voters to tell them to fuck off in person
The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least...
David Cameron having pigs in blankets for Christmas
A close friend of the Camerons', who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the former PM 'is looking forward to his Christmas day...
UK Government leads world in stable door shutting contest
The UK government has taken the lead in the worldwide contest to shut the stable door long after the horse has not only bolted...
Brutus advises senators to get behind Caesar
Marcus Brutus has urged the Roman senate to show support for their leader Julius Caesar.
Addressing the press at a conference outside the Senate, he...
UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself
UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...
In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...
May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity.
Catchphrases repeated to the point...
Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories.
We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class.
Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...
Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better
Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.
Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...
George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...
Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama
Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.
Theresa May ready to deny TV debate ever took place
The BBC and ITV are to defy Conservative Party wishes and air live debates between participating parties before the upcoming June election.
An inside source...
Dead refugees welcome say Home Office
Refugees will be welcome to Great Britain providing they are dead, under a new scheme announced by the Home Office.
The new measures, expected to...
New Far Right Perfume Released.
In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...
Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
