Pensioners

52% support euthanasia bill

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The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...

Child refugees can stay till after they’ve seen NHS Dentist

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Teenage child refugees completing their journey to the UK were breathed a huge sigh of relief after being told they could remain in the UK until they could secure an appointment with an NHS Dentist.
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

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Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

New Far Right Perfume Released.

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In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Lords Punish May With Dance

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Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...

Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting

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America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.

Media blackout of J***** C***** continues

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All national media outlets are continuing with their agreement to stop any reporting of a certain well known political leader this week, who we...

Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

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In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...
Amber Rudd

One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat

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Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...

Gavin Williamson declares war on schools

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Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary. His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

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Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.

Mugwump? That hoofwanking spangletwat needs to stop spafftrumpeting says Corbyn

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Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'. Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

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Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

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