Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is...
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer exists
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he...
Labour confirms 2018 party conference will be held in Mecca
The Labour Party has denied accusations of ‘Muslim appeasement’ at its annual conference in Brighton, after several eagle-eyed observers noticed that its conference banner...
Conservative MPs unable to point to their constituency on a map
A recent survey has revealed that a staggering 89% of Tory MPs are unable to findtheir constituency on a map.
The survey results, which were...
Top Tories Converse to win yoof vote
Prime Minister Theresa May today ditched her kitten heels and turned out to the Commons wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor black and white...
Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointments
Two new appointments have been made to the cabinet of President-Elect Donald Trump.
"Although I know that I will be technically the Commander-In-Chief, people will...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.
A Scottish...
Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet
The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...
Theresa May to meet voters to tell them to fuck off in person
The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least...
Watson Denies Corbyn Car Crash Rumours
Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Tom Watson, has denied rumours that recent focus groups conducted by the party to determine popularity of alternative leaders involved simulated car accidents in which Jeremy Corbyn was involved in hit and run incidents.
Tony Blair’s legacy like that of a modern day Churchill, confirms Justice Cherie Booth
Justice Cherie Booth has ruled in a landmark case that the former Prime Minister cannot be prosecuted over the Iraq War.
Former Iraqi General Abdul...
Blair and Farage to launch new political party together
The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release.
The party,...
Philip Hammond apologises to women on cabinet for making sexist comment at ‘wrong time...
Philip Hammond has today apologised for his insensitive remarks about women by buying them all a jolly nice big bar of chocolate and a...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
