Refugees will be welcome to Great Britain providing they are dead, under a new scheme announced by the Home Office.
The new measures, expected to be introduced in the autumn, will automatically approve any asylum application where it can be shown that the applicant is ‘not alive at the time of arrival in the UK.’
‘We don’t currently have the political will, resources, jobs and housing to accommodate refugees that are still alive,’ the spokesman said. ‘But once their bodies are processed and burned, dead asylum seekers put less strain on public services, infrastructure and housing,’ he added.
Most dead asylum seekers float into British jurisdiction in the English Channel or are washed up on Britain’s coasts. But many are now arriving dead in trucks, lashed to train undercarriages or inside horses.
Once they cross the UK Border and are confirmed as deceased, their application for asylum is fast-tracked. The new guidelines state that immigrants must be dead on arrival, but not necessarily dead before they leave their country of origin, which may discourage people from seeking asylum in the UK, it is thought.
The spokesman added, ‘It is unlikely that people will attempt the perilous journey to the UK if they are already dead, and those that are alive before they arrive are unlikely to be granted asylum if they are still alive when they reach the UK border.
So we’re asking asylum seekers wishing to come to the UK to think very carefully before setting off, particularly if they are alive and in good health. We are sending a clear message to anyone seeking asylum in the UK – if you’re not in a sack, you’re going back.’
Near-dead arrivals will be detained in specially adapted death pens until they either die, where asylum is granted, or survive, in which case they are likely to be placed in specially modified crates and shipped back to their country of origin.
Martin White of the Institute of Segregation (IS) has said that the scheme does not go far enough and believes the UK has not got the capacity to deal with already overstretched crematoria and overflowing graveyards.
However, plans are underway to construct a new corpse-powered electric plant in Dover that will use the remains of refugees to provide power for up to 100,000 homes and create over 300 new jobs. Homes and jobs that would otherwise have been occupied by asylum seekers would they were alive. White also claimed that the system is open to abuse.
‘We’ve had a number of asylum seekers pretending to be dead who are granted asylum and then go on to live happy and prosperous lives, making valuable and important contributions to the country’s economy, society and culture.
‘This is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated,’ he warned.