U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution
Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
White House CCTV confirms Obama listening to Trump in Oval Office
Secret Service agents are reviewing White House CCTV footage this morning which Donald Trump believes show Obama inside the White House.
The footage, captured in...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Trump demands phone number for Ghostbusters after being visited by three spirits
President of the United States of America, Donald Trump is demanding to know how to get in touch with the Ghostbusters, it has been...
White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump
The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the...
Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times
Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged.
Sources close to the president have informed the...
Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar
POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s
Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...
There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob
Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.
I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination
Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination.
In yet another...
Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy
Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night.
“Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
