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Trump barred from White House toilets

President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was expected to only affect libtard and snowflake university students, and make...

Canadian Diver Finds America’s Lost “Self Respect”

A commercial diver may have discovered the lost & decommissioned US “Self Respect” off the coast of Canada.

I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump

Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.

Not enough guns in America according to experts

In the aftermath of the shocking shootings of both innocent black citizens and Police officers in Dallas, Americans have been quick to point out there clearly is a gun shortage right across the land...

Trump campaign an elaborate game of  ‘Electoral Chicken’

Emails leaked from Donald Trump's campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game of chicken with the US electorate to see who gives...

Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate

The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in his position or even existed.  At a press conference on February 14,...

Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service

The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened on the campaign trail in the last two months. The cold...

Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns

Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.

Texas commemorates first mass shooting by giving students guns to take to school

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world's inaugural mass shooting event at the University of Austin in Texas law makers have passed a very special law to mark the occasion. On August 2nd 1966...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with the nomination of Pinochet-a-like Donald Trump to the Republican Party presidential ticket, ground shaking revelations...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man who recently won an election, “And his hair is shit!” Jesse...

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
hand written notes

Trump apologises for misreading email.

President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days. The President was sent an email asking him for ‘draft proposals’ which he...

Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...

Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for insinuating she had worked as a call girl in the...

Donald Trump hires Hugo Boss to design new ‘Cabinet Uniform’

The controversial decision to hire Hugo Boss was openly discussed by The President-elect, Donald J. Trump, on Good Morning America yesterday during a catwalk segment. When asked about his favourite clothing label, Mr. Trump, apparently...

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