Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World’s second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump’s Inauguration Ball.

An orange, topless middle aged millionaire from Chicago dancing a jig for an orange, elderly bankrupt makes as much sense as the rest of Trump’s presidency.

Fop haired endangered species collector Flatley has a lot in common with Trump. They’ve both been accused of at least one rape, both enjoy a spray tan and have mental taste in interior design.

Michael is most famous for owning the head of Rhino. Wanker.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.