Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding.

“We asked for buoyancy aids so that we could keep ourselves and our pets afloat. Someone must have misheard and told Beyonce that we were requesting her help.

Repeated plays of her song, ‘Love Drought’ is causing some of us to lose the will to live”, said Tubbo Lard, a 32 year old laxative salesman based in the flooded city.

Beyonce has not only flooded the city with sound, but a specially chartered helicopter is dropping copies of her albums to people populating the rooftops in hope of rescue and food. A disconsolate, chubby toddler was attempting to chew the CD ‘Lemonade’ while her parents tried to shield her from falling albums.

“Music might be the food of love, but we need burgers,” said Tubbo.