Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year. In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...

Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an...

Australia’s Immigration Minister calls for tougher toughness

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Peter Dutton, Australia’s Immigration Minister, launched a scathing attack on Australia’s business leaders following their public support for the legalisation of gay marriage. Heads of...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

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Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...

All guns to be armed with guns

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...

Light spectroscopy confirms Trump wears a toupee and it’s 70% alpaca

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Donald Trump's hair is partly fake, and the fake part is not even human hair, but alpaca, scientists working for NASA's Astronomical spectroscopy division...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...

Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

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The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...

Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

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Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist. Initially, US citizens were horrified...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

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Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.

US celebrates Independence Day by ceding from Trump

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Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as...
Putin

David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation

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The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...
Melania Trump

Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...

Trump in Mexican standoff

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Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.  Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes

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Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...

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