Fuck

Seriously?

0
I mean, just....Fuck,  Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.  A spokesman for minorities everywhere said; "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck...

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

0
Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...
Pathologist

Not being liked by Vladimir Putin IS natural causes, confirms coroner

0
The UK police have admitted that perhaps they had jumped to a hasty conclusion after coroners concluded that a Russian businessman who strangled himself...
Trump

Waxwork of Donald Trump removed from Museum in Bumshart Nebrahoma

0
A full size model of Donald Trump used for "selfies" by visitors to a museum has been removed by popular demand. Pictures shared all over...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

7
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

11
Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.
Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

6
THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the...

UKIP reveal solution to ‘Irish Problem’

Paul Nuttall revealed UKIP's Irish policy this afternoon and raised more hair than usual. "It's clear Ireland is a problem as the United Kingdom hurtles...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

0
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....
Farage

So Mr Farage, what first attracted you to the white supremacist sympathising billionaire Donald...

6
That was the question that Nigel Farage was asked by TV interviewer Mrs Morton and Mr Farage MP (just kidding) obliged like never before. Mr...
Police

US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them

0
Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...

Donald Trump’s staff installs 400 extra red buttons to “delay the inevitable”

0
The fate of the billions of people could lie in the hands and minds of these two, often unpredictable leaders, which is a concern for many.
Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

7
Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...

Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning

0
A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...

Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

0
Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between...
Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

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Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...

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