Consternation as Britain drops out of top 10 drinking nations
There was consternation last night when it was revealed that the United Kingdom has dropped to 12 in the global drinking league tables.
The country has...
Melania puts down deposit on $80 million one bedroom flat in Paris
The First Lady of the US has reportedly put an undisclosed deposit down on a small one bedroom flat worth $80,000,000 in the centre...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
Aussies can stay in Scotland
Gregg and Kathryn Brian and their son were given a last minute reprieve from being deported back to Australia from Scotland if Mrs Brian...
Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico
Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo.
Just kidding. Trump...
Oh,For f*ck’s Sake Most Commonly Used Phrase Of 2016
Oh, for fuck’s sake said everyone this morning, following reports of more people dying at the hands of total arseholes.
After news broke of the...
Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire
A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...
I don’t care what UK Ambassador thinks of me, says dickhead who won’t shut...
A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he...
I will sue my victims says Donald Trump
Donald Trump has vowed to track down and sue all of his victims after the presidential elections.
Julian Assange unveils plans to have quiet weekend in front of the TV
Julian Assange has tonight been giving a speech outlining his plans for the weekend.
Mr Assange who, was told today by a Swedish prosecutor that rape...
‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
Short range nuclear missiles made available to American public in bid to reduce gun...
Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public were shot...
Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Crack pot dictator arrives in Singapore to meet Kim Jong Un
Singapore: Crack-pot dictator and wannabe dictator Donald Trump has arrived in Singapore to meet crack-pot dictator Kim Jong Un.
It's hoped that the pair may...
Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats
Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things.
"Racists are a minority just...
Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist
Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race.
After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...
