“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.
Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
Bill Clinton Gives Trump His “Little Black Book”
Bill Clinton, who famously began his Presidency by drawing up a list of every woman in America between the ages of 18 and 35, has formally handed over his Little Black Book to President Trump.
Why does this keep happening, asks country selling guns without doing background checks
A country who sells weapons over the counter to anybody who wants one is stumped at how it can be home to so many...
Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was...
Trump marks Martin Luther King weekend with burning cross on White House Lawn
US President elect, Donald Trump, will be hosting a tribute event for Martin Luther Day
Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit
Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...
Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported
America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.
"Ms...
Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget
General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget.
General...
The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions
In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission."
"Well, I tried to...
Statue of Liberty planning move back to France
Following a public falling out today between the President of France and the Dictator of the United States of America the Statue of Liberty...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
