Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...
The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics
In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Angry terrorist given away by distinctive red hat
An angry teenager with the mental age of an eleven year old suspected of international terrorism offences has been arrested because he was wearing...
Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning
A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...
Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times
Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged.
Sources close to the president have informed the...
U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution
Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...
Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...
Donald Trump appoints Doogie Howser M.D. Coronavirus Czar
POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser...
Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing.
In actual fact he woke to...
Aussies can stay in Scotland
Gregg and Kathryn Brian and their son were given a last minute reprieve from being deported back to Australia from Scotland if Mrs Brian...
Audi driver becomes first in space after tailgating Tesla into orbit
A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space.
Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on...
Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns
Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...
New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...
Palestinians Recognise Scunthorpe as Capital of US, Answering Question ‘Who put the ‘Trump’ in...
Following the United States decision to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, the Palestinian authorities have entered into the spirit of things and...
