Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Geert Wilders

World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote

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World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...
Trump Supporters

Trump recorded saying “Trump Supporters are fat, racist white trash”

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‘Rumours that Donald Trump described his legions of supporters as "obese trailer park trash" and "uneducated fucking idiots" are yet to be confirmed.

Aussies can stay in Scotland

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Gregg and Kathryn Brian and their son were given a last minute reprieve from being deported back to Australia from Scotland if Mrs Brian...

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...

Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria

The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria. They are expected to discuss...

Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…

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Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...
Donald Trump

Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shooting

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Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shootingSo-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown'...

World now clear on just how much rope was needed for Donald Trump to...

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The world has been quivering with excitement over President Trump's possible impeachment for some time now, like Kim Jong-Un's stubby digit over a big...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

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President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...

Che Guevara’s beret gift from Corbyn confirms Che Guevara’s Dad John McDonnell

John McDonnell has taken to social media today to confirm rumours that Che Guevara's trademark beret was a gift from Jeremy Corbyn.
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals

 Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...

Trump threatens N. Korea with Fire, Fury, Trouser Snake and six other American Gladiators

Following Kim Jong Il's threat to carry out missile strike on US territory, President Trump counters with threat of onslaught by mid-90s kick-ass TV...

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