Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

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Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

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In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...
Erdogan

Rank outsider sweeps to completely surprising victory in Turkish Presidential election

A rank-outsider has swept to victory in Turkey's presidential election defying the odds to secure a third five year term. Election authority chief said "imagine...

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

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Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...

UN tells Goodwill Ambassador to fuck off

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After a record low of zero days in the job, the new UN Ambassador, whose job it would've been to generally spread love and...

ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine

As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

Climate Change is a hoax insists Texan on a raft

7
Despite his trailer having flooded and all his possessions being lost to water damage, defiant Texan, Ray "Buckeye" McCready is travelling around his home state on a makeshift raft to convince others that climate change is a hoax.
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

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North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

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The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

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Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
Putin

David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation

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The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...

Gigantic orange adult toddler in misogyny veteran sacrifice spat

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Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter. The Toddler is running for the...
Donald Trump Jr

Fire at Trump Tower definitely not Donald Trump Jr burning Russia dossier, confirms Donald...

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New York - There has been more fire and fury today as a blaze at the top of Trump Tower in New York left...

We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...

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There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...
Trump Atos

Atos and DWP pronounce Trump unfit for work

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A physical and mental health Atos assessment on US President, Donald J Trump, has conclusively found that he is unfit for work, the DWP...

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