Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Despair after terrible person makes valid point
A man has been left bereft of all hope for the future after discovering that the worst person he knows might have made a...
Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party
Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.
Kavanaugh, whose nomination...
UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar
With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...
Pornhub to hide videos between pages of print for 24hrs in tribute to Hefner
Online mega porn hub, Pornhub, has announced it will hide every video on its webpage between pages of unnecessary print journalism for twenty four...
Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...
Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in...
Trump asks to buy Greenland after hearing it is actually white
President Trump has indicated his strong interest in buying Greenland from the Danish. The move has shocked US analysts as it comes just weeks...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Eric Trump banned from All-Valley Championships after breaking Daniel Larusso’s leg
There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships.
In a blow to the...
Trump in Mexican standoff
Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.
Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy...
Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...
Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.
Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play
Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.
After...
Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…
President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Trump to release fresh evidence that Obama shot JR
The so-called "President" of the United States has ordered the CIA release all of the files relating to the attempted assassination of Texan oil...
Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas
Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning.
The news comes after...
Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
