Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit
Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today.
Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.
Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the...
It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House...
Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat
Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place.
“The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...
Despot of country full of gullible starving peasants about to declare war on North...
The bilge tanks of mainstream media are overflowing today with irrepressible joy and mental sewerage at the prospect of wannabe despot Donald Trump declaring...
College Professor assaults Trump supporter
A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of...
Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism
Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...
Trump celebrates success of travel ban as many developed countries join voluntarily
President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many developed...
Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower
Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral.
The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...
Terrorists ‘disappointed’ to be rewarded with 72 vegans in heaven
Typographical error blamed for afterlife reward mix-up
The five jihadists involved in last Saturday's Spanish terror attack have expressed 'disappointment' upon receiving the heavenly reward...
Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference
President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference.
Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened.
"Mr...
Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...
Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...
Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.
Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
President Trump’s half-brother assassinated in Kuala Lumpur
In a shocking announcement from Malayasia, official sources have revealed that President Donald Trump's half-brother has been assassinated at Kuala Lumpur Airport.
According to local TV reports, Mr...



















































