Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service
The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
National security at stake after Donald Trump gets stuck in revolving door
The removal from office of Anthony "You're fired!" Scaramucci and Reince "You're fired too!" Priebus have prompted many White House insiders to consider the...
German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...
New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...
Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine
In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...
Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist
Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race.
After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...
Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director
Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the...
Donald Trump hospitalised with self-inflicted gunshot wound
Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.
Russia accuse Boris of hysterical Russophobia
Russia has responded to Boris Johnson's accusations of war crimes by counter-accusing the British government and Boris in particular of 'Russophobia.'
Despite what one may...
Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was...
Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist
Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist.
Initially, US citizens were horrified...
Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
The...
Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened
Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books
The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
