Thanks Mahmut. Inventor of Donner Kebab Dies Aged 87
The man who invented the doner kebab has died. Mahmut Aygun, was suffering from cancer and died in Berlin at the age of 87.
Known as...
The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics
The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...
I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President
A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
Despair after terrible person makes valid point
A man has been left bereft of all hope for the future after discovering that the worst person he knows might have made a...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy
MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in...
Donald Trump wins ‘International Thundercunt of the Year Award’ after declaring war on children
President Donald Trump has been awarded the International Thundercunt of the Year Award following his decision to remove protections for young people brought into...
Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany.
The...
Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark
Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...
Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported
America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.
"Ms...
Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria
The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria.
They are expected to discuss...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower
Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.
I will sue my victims says Donald Trump
Donald Trump has vowed to track down and sue all of his victims after the presidential elections.
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Kim Jong Un opens Pyonyang’s first fish and chip shop ‘Fission Chips’ to critical...
The world famous entrepreneur and basketball star, Kim Jong Un, has today opened the first fish and chip shop in North Korea.
The chippy, named...
