Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US
In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...
50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK
A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said.
As spokesman said the Border Force had...
South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source
Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
Luftwaffe didn’t tell Hitler about every bomb dropped, just sayin, Spicer tells press corps
Sean Spicer has put rumours to rest that Hawkish generals in the United States military are deploying military assets without Presidential authorisation.
"Look I know...
UN convene emergency meeting over Ant and Dec crisis
The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently.
The...
Trump to release fresh evidence that Obama shot JR
The so-called "President" of the United States has ordered the CIA release all of the files relating to the attempted assassination of Texan oil...
Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech
Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.
IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics
The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the...
Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard
A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard.
The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...
Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means
Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate.
Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...
New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal
Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...
I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump
Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.
U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution
Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
