Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides

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Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...

International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping

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More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?" At least 30...

Pornhub to hide videos between pages of print for 24hrs in tribute to Hefner

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Online mega porn hub, Pornhub, has announced it will hide every video on its webpage between pages of unnecessary print journalism for twenty four...

Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

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Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Former socialite and...
Boy with toy machine gun isolated on a white background

That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence

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America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

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NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency...

Christmas moved to November 12th

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Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December. The...
Scaramucci

Trump Fan Can Go – Scaramucci sacked as new White House Communications Director –...

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He’s just a rich boy, didn’t give a fuck about anybody. Easy come, easy go, we guess. In disappointing news for fans of the White...
Putin

David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation

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The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...

UN convene emergency meeting over Ant and Dec crisis

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The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently. The...

Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

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Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018. The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

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The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...
Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

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Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...
White House

White House denies that men in white coats are coming to take Trump away

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Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Donald Trump awarded prestigious Time Magazine Dickhead of the Year Award

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Donald Trump has been awarded the Time Magazine prestigious Hitler of the Year Award and is said to be "honoured" by the accolade.

Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull 

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Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...

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