Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
Just £3 a month will pay for cocaine and child prostitutes for an Oxfam...
A new fundraising campaign from Oxfam appealing to the better nature of child abusers is asking for just £3 a month to pay for...
England cheated by playing better than us, says Steve Smith
After England fought back to secure a well earned win against Australia yesterday, Australian batsman said that England "Cheated" by "Bowling really fast and...
Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist
Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race.
After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...
Bill Clinton Finally “Boss of Me” after Hillary Loss
Bill Clinton will finally get to be “the Boss of Me” after Hilary’s stunning loss in the US Presidential Election.
NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world
NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system".
The agency...
Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight
Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This
land...
Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings
Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...
President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill
Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...
Potential asylum seekers now to be meme tested
Following public outcry, The Home Office have announced new measures to establish the age of refugees.
Many Brits are shocked that someone who has had...
If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...
Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices
Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today.
A White...
NEWSFLASH – Trump withdraws from Election
On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running.
Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis...
Mike Pence unhappy ‘in transition’
Vice-President elect Mike Pence is expected to ask Donald Trump to move him to another area after becoming unhappy as part of the incoming Republican’s transition...
