Beards officially still cool – says man with beard
It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies
Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.
The crowds...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader
Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists."
This was because the...
Beards Not Cool After All
24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...
Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup
Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me
Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.
"I was...
There should be a free press like that Iranian TV channel I work for,...
Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward.
The...
Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...
Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...
UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay
Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a...
Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began
A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...
Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about.
Following...
