New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, with a new song, Donald, Donald Uber Alles.
When...
I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump
Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists that Trump's racism, sexism and general vulgarity would cause embarrassment...
America To Be Renamed Trumptopia
Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself.
In a press conference, he told the assembled reporters, "look, America Ves-whatshisname did a...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take place before the end of 2017.
The Dead Kennedys (most famous...
Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work and fruit picking.
A spokesman explained the advantages for parents. "If...
Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan
In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to put 1 million chimps to work on typewriters in a...
Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed
The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail and Express, and much derision from everyone else.
Here at the...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist, Steve Bannon, is now conflicted about the best way to fuck...
‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy
MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in favour of triggering Article 50.
"Stands to reason, dunnit?" said Kevin...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a new Mexican startup company, said, “Once Britain leaves the EU...
Violent EDL member embarrassed to be snapped with right wing racist thug
Andy Edge, a former Stockport English Defence League leader convicted of violent disorder at a 2014 protest, was pictured giving the thumbs up with UKIP's NHS hating, vile hate preacher, Paul Nuttall.
In a statement, an...
Panic as 2015 Pence Tweet emerges stating ‘Genocide is wrong and unconstitutional’
The old Tweet was discovered just a day after another one of Pence's was found, also from 2015, which read 'Calls to ban Muslims from entering the U.S. are offensive and unconstitutional.'
The orginal Tweet...
Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President in secret.
Hair Force 1 arrived at Buckingham Palace just after...
Earthlings stunned to learn the meaning of the word ‘Liberal’
Following Donald Trump's election, the entire population of Earth has completely forgotten how to use the word 'liberal'.
Despite the word meaning someone who is open minded and willing to listen to opposing ideologies, it...
Trump using Martin Luther King bust as a door stop after returning Churchill to...
Black Lives Matter protesters are up in arms after it was reported that President Trump is using the White House's Martin Luther King bust as a door stop.
