What time is it Mr Woolfe?

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Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

HS2 to be built by immigrants

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The government is expected to reveal plans to admit up to two thousand migrant workers from the Calais Jungle to help construct  HS2. Prospective workers...

Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting

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America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.

Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic

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After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...

Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding

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Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...

UKIP Conference cancelled due to Tory success

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The annual gathering of UKIP, scheduled for 16th September, will now not go ahead reports say. "We have been watching the racism and general xenophobia...

Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators

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Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...

Nigel Farage in eleventh hour bid for International Twat of the Year Award

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Nigel Farage has made an eleventh hour bid to snatch the "International Twat of the Year Award" from Donald Trump.

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

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David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

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UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion

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Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking. “You’ve got to give the Morning...

“Are we living in Nazi Germany?” Tweets man backed by Neo-Nazis.

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Without any inkling of irony at all, a man who has the support of the USA's best and brightest Neo-Nazi....sorry, Alt-Right groups, and who...
Theresa May

Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...

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George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...

Rishi Sunak to announce 80% wages to be replaced by a free bike

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The Chancellor of the Exchequer is set to announce that the job retention scheme, which sees those workers furloughed by their employer receive 80%...

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