English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”
Conservative MPs unable to point to their constituency on a map
A recent survey has revealed that a staggering 89% of Tory MPs are unable to findtheir constituency on a map.
The survey results, which were...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country.
Compassion has been on the rise recently...
Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”
In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...
Dominic Raab warns against travel to Iran and other Scandinavian countries
The foreign secretary Dominic Raab has warned British nationals not to travel to Iran or any other Scandinavian countries following last week's US airstrikes...
Maggie May announces snap election
Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election.
"Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...
Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Boris Johnson feared dead?
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...
Revealed: GCHQ Toaster Hack Turns Leavers Into Remainers…
An exclusive Herald investigation has revealed the extent to which the government's monitoring agency GCHQ can manipulate public opinion through the hacking of common...
UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting.
Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...
May announces referendum to abolish office of Prime Minister
Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised...
Khan To Rebuild Wall
Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...
Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies
A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it.
The...
Prime Minister Hospitalised After Strong and Stable Seizure
Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure.
The incident occurred while...
