Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators
Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
IT department confirms that turning Maybot off and on again didn’t work
The latest attempt to reboot the Downing Street operating system failed after the Tory party IT department tried turning Maybot off and on again.
Nigel...
Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract
There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time.
The news...
Keep me out of the news says BoJo
A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...
Nadine Dorries replaced as MP for Mid Bedfordshire with nice plate of warm mince
Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU...
Trump using Martin Luther King bust as a door stop after returning Churchill to...
Black Lives Matter protesters are up in arms after it was reported that President Trump is using the White House's Martin Luther King bust as a door stop.
David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks.
It's believed the replacement of Mr....
That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan
His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement:
"I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...
Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...
Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished.
Gove, who famously involved himself...
Trump publishes ‘first 100 days’ Manifesto
President Trump is set to to release a Manifesto on his first 100 in days in office on the eve of his inauguration, a...
One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat
Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...
Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter
The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020.
"My pension doesn't cover the...
Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".
Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
