Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Theresa May shocked and disappointed by contents of freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box
Theresa May is said to be both shocked and disappointed this afternoon by the contents of the freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box.
The box, made...
US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...
Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama
Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.
Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle
Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government's chief political advisor - effective immediately,...
BBC warns reporters against mispronouncing Leadsom as loathsome
The BBC's all powerful pronunciation department Tuesday issued a red letter warning to reporters over mispronouncing the surname of Leader of the House of...
Gove says public ‘sick and tired’ of so-called legal experts…
Following the successful legal challenge to Brexit, Michael Gove has said that the public are "sick and tired" of so-called legal experts being high...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back".
Mr Farron said...
Whole UK Economy resting on single PPI claim
After the referendum on leaving the EU the treasury scrambled quickly to try and formulate a plan.
"No one actually thought the plebs would defy...
Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
New London Development Announced
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling
Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.
The current record was set in...
Neighbour dispute over building of boundary wall in garden
Two semidetached households in North Rochdale are currently amid one of the most notable disputes of recent years.
One of the neighbours, Don Trimple first...
