Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Theresa May to raise voting age to 35
Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.
Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.
It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...
Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.
Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility...
David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa
Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...
Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet
The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...
New UKIP leader already third longest serving leader after both Nigel Farages
Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Daily Mail accuses BBC of not being impartial on Brexit
The Daily Mail has accused the BBC of ignoring all the positive benefits Brexit has brought.
In an editorial, the paper says that the BBC...
Sick Home Sec sacked?
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked?
Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem
Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned.
"It was an honest mistake and...
Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged
Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election.
Speaking to...
Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
