ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

0
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...

UK threaten Russia with voting Nul Points at Eurovision

0
In the wake of the alleged poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Wiltshire last week, the UK has stepped up pressure on...

May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson

18
The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...

Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings

29
Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

0
A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

0
The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo

Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban

0
International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party...

Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing

1
Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button. As cheers rang out across the nation it...

Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...

0
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Leamington to become post Brexit English capital

0
The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

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Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

0
Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

8
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

0
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

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