Politics

The government has been accused of the suppression of voters' rights after plans to introduce compulsory checks of a family coat of arms for voters were leaked. Reports that the Queen's speech contains proposals to...

Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck in New York. Mr Johnson and his entourage are currently queuing...

The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of the globe in their own private jets. With climate change very...

Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and turned into a massive green frog and the evil Dominic...

After spending several weeks in his room, claiming to be "revising" legislation, the PM has finally been told to put his Johnson down.  "Stop proroguing this instant, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson," Lady Hale...

Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more rapidly. Chain owner and furious scarecrow Ian Wetherspoon said "I'm delighted...

Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand in Shoreditch. Robinson, whose real name is Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, emerged from...

The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a General Election he claims he does not want. "Look, it's just...

MPs are meeting this afternoon to discuss vital legislation that could break the Brexit deadlock and potentially save the Government. A bill tabled by Jo Swinson, leader of the Liberal Democrats, is currently being discussed...

Millions of viewers who tuned into a BBC broadcast of tens of thousands of people booing and hissing at Downing Street today were left disappointed after the Prime Minister drowned out the crowds with...

As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit, the unelected Prime Minister has instructed the unelected monarch to...

Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as soon as a vote of no confidence is passed in...

The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face food, medicine and fuel shortages after Brexit. Many experts are now...

Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections in May. The chairman of the party's West London branch, he...

Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in Singapore for £43M. "Brexit is going to be brilliant for UK...

Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary. His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is to launch targeted drone strikes on underachieving schools as encouragement...