Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand in Shoreditch.

Robinson, whose real name is Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, emerged from Belmarsh maximum security facility with a dreadful beard, fifteen brands of breakfast cereal, white socks and a pair of really tight trousers that were slightly too short.

He said: “I’m planning to get a top knot and one of those bikes that have funny coloured wheels and move to Shoreditch.”

The anti-Islamic agitator was jailed over a video he live-streamed on Facebook featuring defendants in a criminal trail, in breach of a court reporting ban.To

“I know falafel is an odd choice for a racist who makes his money by stirring up anti-muslim sentiment on Facebook but it’s just so tasty.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.