Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
EU promises Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue nationals from UK “BREXKRIEG”
The European Commission has confirmed that it has prepared plans to launch a Dunkirk style flotilla to rescue EU nationals in the event that...
Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was...
Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration.
"It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters
Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much...
Theresa May makes audacious bid for Jorge Mendes to replace David Davis.
With the transfer window now open, Theresa May is expected to make David Davis available for transfer whilst putting in a bid for Jorge...
Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker
The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Relief as Theresa May and Arlene Foster finish scissoring out a deal
“It was no time for hammering,” confirmed the Prime Minister, “we had quite enough of a hammering in the election, which we still, I...
Torture works say fictional super villains and Donald Trump
Unnatural freaks, social outcasts and fictional horror characters are lining up to support President Trump's assertion that "torture works".
"I've racked my brains to find...
New Far Right Perfume Released.
In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...
ISIS Second In Command Killed Again
The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command.
"He was killed by...
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists...
Simon Danczuk expected to volunteer as UKIP teenage pussy inspector
"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast...
U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Jeremy Corbyn threatens to remove ISIS leaders from Christmas Card List
Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott have taken the bold step to thoroughly condemn the actions of ISIS supporters this week and are preparing to...
