If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

0
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Postman

Postmen refuse to empty post boxes as ‘there could be anything in there’

0
Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

12
Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...

Lib Dems form armed wing in desperate bid to remain relevant

0
The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some...

Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview

9
Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...
Houses of Parliament

Government exempts itself from report on racism

4
The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...
Bergxit

Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit

4
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...

James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot

0
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.

UKIP elect Diane James leader

0
UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...

Tim Farron tells press ‘I can’t wait to be in charge after election’

0
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron feels his party is heading for glory, glory hallelujah in the newly called June election, and that he is...

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

0
Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
Theresa May

Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote

0
Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away...
Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

0
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

0
Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...

Amber Rudd launches investigation into NHS as ‘foreign worker’ stats land

0
At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny - except...

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