Rees-mogg to donate communion wafers to food banks to alleviate hunger with uplifting religious...

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Community pressure group VFAC (Vegan Food Advocates for Catholicism) have reacted with dismay today to news that Jacob Rees-mogg MP has donated one tonne...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

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Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...

Samuel L Jackson to provide voiceover for Conservative DUP deal

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The world of entertainment is buzzing with the rumour that Samuel L. Jackson is to provide the voiceover for the Conservative DUP agreement announced...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
Leopard print shoes

Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes

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Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...
Jeremy Corbyn

Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth

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Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...
Letterbox

Boris Johnson looks like a c*nt, say letterboxes

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Letterboxes around the UK have stood by their remarks about the Boris Johnson after the Post Office chairman asked them to apologise. There is broad...
Marty McFly

Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...

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The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California. Strickland...

Dead refugees welcome say Home Office

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Refugees will be welcome to Great Britain providing they are dead, under a new scheme announced by the Home Office. The new measures, expected to...
Hangmans Noose

Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto

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The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...

“Messiah” Corbyn Denies Anti-Semitism as Links to ‘People’s Front of Judea’ Emerge

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Jeremy Corbyn was today forced to again deny claims of Anti-Semitism after it emerged that he had "strong links" to the Palestinian terrorist organisation...

Blair and Branson to form New Virgin Labour

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An email leaked to the Independent has revealed that billionaire Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson (MBE OBE BFD) is to bankroll Lord Sir Tony...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

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A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...
The Sun

Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun

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“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.

Owen Smith calls for another vote on leadership challenge

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In a statement the bespectacled Bilko impersonator said;  "Just like on the issue of Europe, many people wanted a different outcome. I'd be prepared to...

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