Only Mandelson Eligible to Vote in Leadership Election after Mass Cull

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In an attempt to make the Labour leadership election more comradely and fairer, the Labour PLP has been trawling through the social media activities...

Panic as 2015 Pence Tweet emerges stating ‘Genocide is wrong and unconstitutional’

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The old Tweet was discovered just a day after another one of Pence's was found, also from 2015, which read 'Calls to ban Muslims...

CABINET RESHUFFLE – Boris Johnson becomes Health Secretary

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Theresa May's eagerly anticipated cabinet reshuffle has begun. In what some would describe as "a bit of a surprise", the former Mayor of London and...

Yeovil MP threatens local Mum with legal action over Facebook page

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Fop haired twat and Yeovil MP Marcus "doesn't respond to emails" Fysh has become embroiled in a freedom of speech row on Twitter and...
Houses of Parliament

Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue

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The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader

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The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

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The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
Rees Mogg

Jocob Rees-Mogg insists women have absolute rights over bodies, except if they receive gift...

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The fall-out from the Weinstein allegations of rape, sexual abuse and unwanted sexual advances continues to widen and include those in political life. Whilst the...
Labour logo with Ukip logo within it

UKIP and Corbynista trolls to colour code social media posts to avoid confusion.

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  UKIP and the Corbynista wing of the Labour Party have reached a landmark agreement to prevent social media posts by their respective trolls and sock puppets...

Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall

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Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

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In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...

Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still an attractive pig says David Cameron

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Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

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Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

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Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...
Boris Johnson

Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend

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Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...

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