Wetherspoons

Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons

0
Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

0
The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...

Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump

0
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Nice Nurse Senior Patient

Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...

5
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...

0
John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Boris Johnson

Boris urges Tories to get behind May as it makes it easier to stab...

1
Boris Johnson has today reprimanded Conservative Party Members for attempting to organise a coup and not asking him to join in. In his message,...
Kuenssberg

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

21
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

0
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

0
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Theresa May (licence)

Brexit means famine, disease and war confirms Theresa May

0
A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war,...

Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers

6
Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Titanic

British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...

2
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...

Obviously you should agree with me, it’s 2017 say progressives, obviously

0
People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year. “It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I...

Rishi Sunak to announce 80% wages to be replaced by a free bike

0
The Chancellor of the Exchequer is set to announce that the job retention scheme, which sees those workers furloughed by their employer receive 80%...

Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!

6
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts