Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
Nigel Farage launches the Nigel Farage Party
Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party.
“I...
Simon Danczuk expected to volunteer as UKIP teenage pussy inspector
"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast...
Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
Fury as UK migration laws mean that London will be SWAMPED with Brummies by...
Birmingham is a modern, cosmopolitan city whose motto, Forward, sums it up perfectly. The smug, self-serving shithole that is London is the reverse. With...
Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...
Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings
After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...
Neighbour dispute over building of boundary wall in garden
Two semidetached households in North Rochdale are currently amid one of the most notable disputes of recent years.
One of the neighbours, Don Trimple first...
Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber
In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...
Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons
Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...
In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...
Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
May May trigger Brexit in May? Maybe
Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent.
The slogan...
SNP Manifesto just bootleg copy of Braveheart and sheet of paper saying Referendums
The long awaited SNP manifesto is released today to huge anticipation.
