Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options

5
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck Corbyn tells press conference

0
Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap...

Farage to become economic migrant.

0
Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA. Apparently...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...

0
The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government. "He has to be gripped...

Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show

22
Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...

Make America Great Again

0
We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...

Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet

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The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle

0
Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government's chief political advisor - effective immediately,...
Nuttall

UKIP Conspiracy theorists claim Paul Nuttall is being erased from history

0
UKIP leader, Paul Nuttall PhD, is concerned that he is being erased from history by a shadowy group of leftist and liberal media conspirators.  He recently had to...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

1
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

29
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

1
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Liam Fox

Saudia Arabia to pick next UK defence secretary

0
Saudi Arabia moved swiftly to reassure the British people this evening that the resignation of Michael Fallon has not caught them by surprise and...

May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious...

Topless Danczuk in topless holiday prison catfight scandal

0
The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God...
Tory

Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative

1
Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister...

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