Boris “getting Coronavirus done”. PM tests positive.

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The Rochdale Herald can confirm that the Prime Minister of the UK, Boris Johnson, has tested positive for Coronavirus. Having been tested for Coronavirus on...
Raining Money

FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal

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The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

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The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

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The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...

Theresa May declares ‘sit down session’ with Trump a huge success

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British Prime Minister Theresa May Friday declared her "sit down meeting" with newly elected US President Donald Trump to have been "a roaring success". "He...
Houses of Parliament

Government exempts itself from report on racism

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The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...

Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings

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Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...

Chequers agreement shreds itself

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Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday. "I popped out...
Gun held in front of American flag

Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US

3
President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...

Theresa May’s constant turning catches attention of the Royal Ballet

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Theresa May has once again been forced into a U turn on policy, this time on the so called 'Dementia Tax'.  It comes after a series...
EU

EU condemns punchy politics

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After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour. Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...

Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo

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Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...

Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls

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Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K. Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a...

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

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SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...

Jeremy Corbyn’s conference speech just him saying “Oh Jeremy Corbyn” for 1 hour

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Jeremy Corbyn's conference speech has been rapturously received by conference delegates. The speech consisted solely of Corbyn repeating the line, "Oh Jeremy Corbyn" for a...

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