Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

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Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

Ken Livingstone backs down over Nazi Zionism claims

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Ken Livingstone has backed down over his claims that Hitler and the Nazis once supported the cause of Zionism- the aim of establishing and...
Theresa May

Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person

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Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

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The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

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Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...

Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbo makes his ex Home Secretary

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Jeremy Corbyn has appointed Diane Abbott as Home Secretary, placing her opposite Amber Rudd on the shadow front bench. "We want someone who represents the...

Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

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The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...

Khan To Rebuild Wall

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Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...
The Sun

Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun

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“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.

It’s not my fault there aren’t enough Marxists to win a by election insists...

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Following Labour's disastrous defeat in The Copeland by-election Jeremy Corbyn has responded to criticisms of his leadership of The Labour Party by assuring everybody it has nothing to do with his politics or his leadership.
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

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Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

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Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
Michael Gove

Michael Gove concedes sushi made from poisonous blowfish should be made by an expert

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Michael Gove, the man who claimed Britain had “had enough of experts” would appear to have at least some time for them, at least...

Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...

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The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...

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