Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish
Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...
Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Foreign holiday season likely to be cancelled says Minister for the Bleedin Obvious
Many British people are unlikely to be able to take summer holidays abroad this year says Matt Hancock in a stunning example of the...
Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”
Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.
Great repeal bill to herald the return of Spangles
The government's planned "Great Repeal Bill" to change 44 years worth of EU legislation into British law is slated to help turn the clock...
Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation
News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee.
It is thought he...
Child refugees can stay till after they’ve seen NHS Dentist
Teenage child refugees completing their journey to the UK were breathed a huge sigh of relief after being told they could remain in the UK until they could secure an appointment with an NHS Dentist.
Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
Corbyn sacks last of Shadow Cabinet who didn’t resign last year
In a shock move Friday Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn sacked all of his shadow ministers who didn't resign last year in protest at his...
Torture works say fictional super villains and Donald Trump
Unnatural freaks, social outcasts and fictional horror characters are lining up to support President Trump's assertion that "torture works".
"I've racked my brains to find...
Tory sparks by-election because… er…reasons.
Former non-dom tax shy billionaire's son and general Tory role model Zac Goldsmith has resigned from his position as a Tory MP after the...
Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
May To Wheel Out Trebuchet
Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf".
The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...
New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale
Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...
Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...
Dirty Danczuk disappoints again
Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
