Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

46
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

0
Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

29
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
Big Ben

Bullshit to power Westminster by 2025 say Greens

0
Pure bullshit from the House of Commons is to be converted into useful energy to power the City of Westminster, the Green Party has...
A "xenophobic" Englishman listening to Nicola Sturgeon

English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony

0
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

89
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Paul Nuttall

Nuttall pulls out of Stoke by-election

0
NHS hating, pathological liar and leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall, has today pulled out of the Stoke by-election after it was revealed that his remaining...

Surprise and anger as Boris slips down the ‘worst diplomat ever chart’

0
There was consternation in Whitehall this morning as details emerged of several international diplomats who may in fact be much, much worse than Boris...

Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract

0
There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

0
Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...

Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...

Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at...

Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump

0
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.

Michael Gove “more slippery than Teflon”

0
Independent research at the Technical University of Rochdale has found that Michael Gove is more slippery than Teflon - and that a patent has...
UKIP

Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains

0
Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the European elections...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

0
Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...

Leaked Conservative manifesto just 5 pages of “lets get Brexit done” written in Russian

0
With less than 3 weeks until the nation once again goes back to the polls, the Rochdale Herald has managed to obtain a leaked...

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