Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

0
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...

Nuttall Lost Close Personal Friends When They Discovered He Was An Arsehole

0
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole. “People started to shun me and sometimes even...
Jeremy Corbyn

Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth

0
Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...

Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

6
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".
Hospital

Tories promise extra floor space and 50,000 more coats in the 40 new hospitals...

0
The Conservative Party has released its newest manifesto pledge to increase A&E floor space in the 40 hospitals they are definitely not building, as...

Jacob Rees-Mogg completely opposed to jazz music and women in trousers under any circumstances

135
During an appearance on The One Show this week, Conservative leadership favourite and plum-voiced time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg admitted his firm 1920s beliefs meant...

Britain First’s meme maker in coma

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As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy...

Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity

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Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...
Interrogation

Torture works say fictional super villains and Donald Trump

2
Unnatural freaks, social outcasts and fictional horror characters are lining up to support President Trump's assertion that "torture works". "I've racked my brains to find...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

0
South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...

Corbyn vows to walk to Brussels to get best Brexit deal

7
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed that if he becomes Prime Minister he will personally walk to Brussels to demonstrate how serious he is...

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...

Right wing extremist appears on Good Morning Britain to interview Tommy Robinson

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Good Morning Britain producers made the controversial choice today of asking a divisive, opinionated, loud mouth to appear on their show. Piers Morgan was...

New Far Right Perfume Released.

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In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

Even Hitler didn’t treat his press secretary as badly as this says Sean Spicer

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Sean Spicer has been explaining how badly he has been treated by Donald Trump. Speaking to an assembled press corps Mr Spicer said, "Even...

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