Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull 

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Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...

OED to honour Nigel Farage with his own word – A farage

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Following the failure of a parliamentary motion to ennoble seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage with a peerage or a knighthood, the Oxford English...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

4
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...

UKIP launch party leader toy doll (with interchangeable head)

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The almost defunct and already totally irrelevant United Kingdom Independence Party, known better as UKIP, have today announced that they are to launch a...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...

Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...

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The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.

Companies forced to list massively racist employees

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British companies are to be made to publish lists of how many employees are nasty and racist, under new plans announced by home secretary...

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

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Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

Corbyn hospitalised after collapse

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Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .  The incident occurred just moments after...
Boris Johnson

Asda Self-service checkout till beats Boris Johnson at Scrabble

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Scientists from Rochdale College have developed an artificially intelligent self service till that beat Boris Johnson at Scrabble.  Dr Frederick Seddon said, "We were wanting...

Trump campaign drops email subject as Clinton exonerated

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Republicans and other Trump supporters are graciously admitting that perhaps they got a little carried away today after it was revealed that no evidence...
Hide an Seek

Theresa May wins coveted Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy

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Prime minister Theresa May has won the 2017 Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy ahead of stiff competition. "It was an incredible effort from...

Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate 

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Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...

May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

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As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

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Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.

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