Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong

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MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him. The angry parliamentary member...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

1
The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...
Raining Money

FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal

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The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...

Monster Raving Looney Party rejects Douglas Carswell for being TOO weird

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Having survived a terror attack last Thursday the British parliament has been delivered another shock with the news that the Official Monster Raving Loony...

Putin, Trump, British American Tobacco & Belgium New 4 Horsemen as Pope reboots Apocalypse

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Trump, Putin, British American Tabaco and Belgium appointed new 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

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Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.

Lib Dems form armed wing in desperate bid to remain relevant

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The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

2
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

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Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...

Revealed: GCHQ Toaster Hack Turns Leavers Into Remainers…

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An exclusive Herald investigation has revealed the extent to which the government's monitoring agency GCHQ can manipulate public opinion through the hacking of common...

Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week

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Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced. The officers, obese men dressed in...

Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn

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MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...
Refugee

New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers

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Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.

Teresa May in Dogging Scandal

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This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...
Nuttall

UKIP Conspiracy theorists claim Paul Nuttall is being erased from history

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UKIP leader, Paul Nuttall PhD, is concerned that he is being erased from history by a shadowy group of leftist and liberal media conspirators.  He recently had to...

Jeremy Corbyn’s conference speech just him saying “Oh Jeremy Corbyn” for 1 hour

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Jeremy Corbyn's conference speech has been rapturously received by conference delegates. The speech consisted solely of Corbyn repeating the line, "Oh Jeremy Corbyn" for a...

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