Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.

19
The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late. Now the UK government has come up...

Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers

6
Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Theresa May

It’s bloody difficult being a bloody difficult woman, says bloody difficult woman.

0
On Thursday night, Theresa May was stood up by her strong mandate and had to make her lonely way home alone. "Being Prime Minister...

EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...

9
The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

0
Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

0
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...

Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament

0
Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell.  £118 million has been...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

2
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

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Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...

Lords Punish May With Dance

0
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...
fox cubs

Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high

0
A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said "She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least...
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

0
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Marine Le Pen

Le Pen assures voters that despite National Front name change they are still massive...

0
In a bid to allay concerns that the name change from National Front to National Rally will dilute the purity of the party, Marine...

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

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The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...

Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump

0
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.

We want to control our own borders! As long as our borders stay in...

0
Today small minded people up and down the land were in uproar as rumours that the cheese eating surrender monkeys want the English border...

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