Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s

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In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.  In July a third of...

Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit

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Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...
Fur

Foxes Just ‘Scarves With Legs’ Says Tory Think-Tank

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During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban....

Dianne Abbott’s ex-husband confirms she often gets headaches

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Dianne Abbott's ex-husband has put to bed rumours that Dianne was merely pulling a sicky to avoid casting her vote for Article 50 by...

Government announces new mascot for Brexit Will of the People

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Brexit Minister, David Davis, today announced the launch of a new campaign which aims to give Britain's exit from the European Union a more...

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

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Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...

Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers

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Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

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The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...
Theresa May

Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...

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Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Hungry

Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old

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In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects. "Will I...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

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Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Amber Rudd

One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat

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Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...

Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem

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Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned. "It was an honest mistake and...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

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