Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland
It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries.
Both leaders...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club
In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...
UK in shock as Boris Johnson steps down
The people of the United Kingdom took a collective gasp today, Wednesday 1st of April, as Boris Johnson announced he would be stepping down.
"This...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Theresa May to woo younger voters with some fava beans and a nice chianti
It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will...
May to ‘Rasta’ it up
In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel...
May rains on International Happiness Day with Brexit announcement
March 20th has long been designated International Happiness Day, a day to celebrate all that is good about life in the 21st century.
However there...
Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad
Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;
Height supremacists promise New World Order will be with us shortly
Growing support for alt-height movement Height Supremacists have a new doyen in the shape of Sixtus Rees-Mogg. Rees-Mogg initially attracted support with a very modern...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.
Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers
A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...
