Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged
Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election.
Speaking to...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
We’re nothing like Michael Gove, insist Weasels
Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of denials denying denials.
"We knew about Mr Trump's links to...
UKIP launch party leader toy doll (with interchangeable head)
The almost defunct and already totally irrelevant United Kingdom Independence Party, known better as UKIP, have today announced that they are to launch a...
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...
The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once.
In...
David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field
Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...
Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean
Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...
It’s bloody difficult being a bloody difficult woman, says bloody difficult woman.
On Thursday night, Theresa May was stood up by her strong mandate and had to make her lonely way home alone. "Being Prime Minister...
Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC.
Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
Putin, Trump, British American Tobacco & Belgium New 4 Horsemen as Pope reboots Apocalypse
Trump, Putin, British American Tabaco and Belgium appointed new 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.
The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact
UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...
