Angry

Rochdale man who’s never voted pledges to ‘bring down Torie scum’ by voting Green

0
Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast. "That...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

0
Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...

Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom

1
Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

0
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
NewsThump

Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act

0
Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act. The tech boffin was asked...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...

Johnson replaces Cabinet with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

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Boris Johnson committed himself to leading Britain into 'a new chapter' yesterday. Downing Street sources revealed that the chapter referred to by the tousled...

Trump using Martin Luther King bust as a door stop after returning Churchill to...

0
Black Lives Matter protesters are up in arms after it was reported that President Trump is using the White House's Martin Luther King bust as a door stop.
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

13
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

Boris Johnson says he was baked when he made cake and eat it brexit...

0
Foreign to the truth Secretary Boris Johnson has attempted to evade responsibility for the calamity that Brexit has become by allegedly claiming he was...
Rees Mogg

Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion

55
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...

Jacob Rees-Mogg completely opposed to jazz music and women in trousers under any circumstances

135
During an appearance on The One Show this week, Conservative leadership favourite and plum-voiced time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg admitted his firm 1920s beliefs meant...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...

Record Turnout for Britain First in Rochdale for The Zestra Three

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Chaotic scenes in Rochdale today as tens of thousands of Britain First supporters and other moderate right wing organisations including Pegida, the EDL and...
Rees Mogg Farage

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

11
Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...

IT department confirms that turning Maybot off and on again didn’t work

0
The latest attempt to reboot the Downing Street operating system failed after the Tory party IT department tried turning Maybot off and on again. Nigel...

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