Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
Jacob Rees-Mogg completely opposed to jazz music and women in trousers under any circumstances
During an appearance on The One Show this week, Conservative leadership favourite and plum-voiced time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg admitted his firm 1920s beliefs meant...
Pound hitting 8 year low nothing to do with Brexit Professor at University of...
Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against...
London sewer found clogged with dreams of the young after government flushes future down...
Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system...
Trump campaign drops email subject as Clinton exonerated
Republicans and other Trump supporters are graciously admitting that perhaps they got a little carried away today after it was revealed that no evidence...
Jacob Rees-Mogg frustrated by number of GDPR messenger pigeons arriving at his dovecot
Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the...
Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker
The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices
Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something
Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit
The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president.
These include a...
May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...
Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening...
Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol
Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.
Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany.
The...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs
Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs.
The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
