Earthlings stunned to learn the meaning of the word ‘Liberal’

3
Following Donald Trump's election, the entire population of Earth has completely forgotten how to use the word 'liberal'. Despite the word meaning someone who is...
hand written notes

Trump apologises for misreading email.

1
President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days. The President was...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

0
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...

Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn

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MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...
Ant and Dec

Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings

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All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...

Historians will look back at 2016 as a major catalyst. They won’t remember celebrity...

0
Whilst you were all distracted with American politics and the ins and outs of Article 50 being triggered, the government has passed the controversial...

Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter

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British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

0
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...

Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators

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Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...

Gap between rich and poor not an issue say rich bastards

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The massive gap between the poorest peoples' lot and the vomit-inducing wealth of the world's richest isn't really important, insist representatives for the world's...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

Labour confirms 2018 party conference will be held in Mecca

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The Labour Party has denied accusations of ‘Muslim appeasement’ at its annual conference in Brighton, after several eagle-eyed observers noticed that its conference banner...
Amazon

Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season

2
Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves...

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