Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’
Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...
UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...
The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...
Foreign holiday season likely to be cancelled says Minister for the Bleedin Obvious
Many British people are unlikely to be able to take summer holidays abroad this year says Matt Hancock in a stunning example of the...
Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds
Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly.
Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...
Teresa May in Dogging Scandal
This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...
Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt
Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead.
"Obviously we don't...
“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays
Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed. Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...
G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...
In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for...
Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories.
We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
Homes burning down better than house prices going down say Kensington Council
Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week.
The council's...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...
