Tommy Robinson claims full English ruined by brown sauce
Hate preacher Thomas “Tommy” Robinson (not his real name) has become terribly distraught at the presence of brown sauce in traditional English cafes. ...
Jeremy Corbyn’s children still enjoying playing with their new coal
Jeremy Corbyn’s children reportedly had a brilliant Christmas and are still enjoying playing with the new coal their Dad bought them.
Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...
Jacob Rees-Mogg descended from German immigrants genieologists confirm
Plans by eccentric far right conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg to be elected leader of the Conservative party have been delivered a body blow as...
Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker
The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals
Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up...
UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp.
The announcement came after a social media...
Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time
The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...
Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design
The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces.
The...
Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt
A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole.
Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...
New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers
Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.
