Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament

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Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell.  £118 million has been...
Corbyn Elbow Patches

Jeremy Corbyn wins coveted Empty Suit award

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award. The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't...
Foodbank

Tories target youth vote by giving food bank users under 30 free Wham Bars

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The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they...

Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...

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The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

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A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...
corbyn momentum twerp

Political satire not funny when it’s about Corbyn, says humourless twerp

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Taking the mick out of Tories is fine but leave Corbyn alone, according to Frank Lennon, a Rochdale Momentum member. "The Tories are evil and...
Turkey

Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”

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Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done." "We've been...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

1
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...

Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

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Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

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As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...

Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough

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‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...

Diane Abbott suspended from Labour Party for calling Tory Front Bench ‘crackers’

6
Labour Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, has been suspended from the party after it emerged she was accused of using a racist slur during...
Theresa May (licence)

Brexit means famine, disease and war confirms Theresa May

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A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war,...

Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad

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Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

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Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...

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