UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less
In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less.
Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...
Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical
Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick...
Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents
People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...
Remoaners trounce nimbys in self-interest cock off
Earlier this year the Gazillionaire Tory, Zac Goldsmith, resigned from his post as MP for Richmond Park in order to cost taxpayers a shitload...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration
In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
People in Shock as Cameron steps down as MP because nobody knew he was...
Ex Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced he will quit his role as an MP, which has surprised almost everybody as we'd all...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government
There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...
I said ‘sack my cook & hold my calls’ says MP accused of sexual...
Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster.
Barnier, a...
Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’
As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
Boris catches coronavirus despite consistently washing hands of all responsibility
Finally, after what feels like years of writing about this car crash of a government you NHS applauding, social distance ignoring flag shaggers voted...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
