HS2 to be built by immigrants
The government is expected to reveal plans to admit up to two thousand migrant workers from the Calais Jungle to help construct HS2.
Prospective workers...
Impolite scenes disrupt Moderates against Moderation demo
There were tense scenes outside the former Waitrose building in Rochdale's upmarket Falinge Estate yesterday after crowds of militant political moderates and progressives clashed...
ISIS Second In Command Killed Again
The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command.
"He was killed by...
This is your eighty seventh and FINAL warning Corbyn tells Labour MPs
After 52 of Jeremy Coalbin's unruly red rabble voted against the party whip over the Article 50 vote in parliament, the Labour leader has...
Tooth Fairy tax fully costs Tory manifesto
Humbled by her failed election gambit Theresa May today announced a new policy to resolve the social care funding crisis which torpedoed her election...
Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref
Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
Stickupthearseitis
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.
Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch
Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand...
Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies
The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...
Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”
Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.
Don’t vote for a chaotic Brexit, says cause of chaotic Brexit
Loose cannon David Davis describes the scattergun approach to Brexit as "regrettable". The strident anti-EU campaigner wants the UK to cut the European cord,...
Party Leader Debate format Paul Nuttal noisily arguing with himself for an hour
News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Ringmaster May’s Brexit circus will tour till 2021 unless David Davis gets eaten
It was announced last Friday that Ringmaster may’s Brexit circus will attempt to extend its world record breaking tour of Europe until 2021 unless...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
