In a shocking twist in the “Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old” scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all a bit of a fib, perhaps made up by Mr Danczuk himself.

When the news broke on Monday that Simon, a 49 year old perma-tanned pornography enthusiast from Rochdale, had a little “how’s your father” with a 22 year old in his constituency office our editorial team’s immediate response was “bollocks, have you seen him?”

In an unprecedented move by a UK media group The Rochdale Herald has conducted a comprehensive telephone survey of all of the women in Lancashire and Greater Manchester and the answer was unanimous. Not one of them fancies Simon Danczuk.

Apparently the Sun got the story from some bloke down the pub who swears he heard it from Mr Danczuk himself, though we have as yet been unable to verify the identity of the source known only as “The Kipper”.

We’re not suggesting for one moment that Mr Danczuk has not had a gratifying sexual encounter in his constituency office, we’re just suggesting that he was most likely alone when it happened.

More on this as it breaks.