Something that hasn’t happened might or might not make something bad happen, clarifies Bank...
Something that might or might not happen could or could not send the pound plunging or not plunging and trigger, or maybe even not...
Leading Homeopath Accidentally Says Something Sensible
Writing in the lifestyle magazine 'It's A Gullible Life' Dr Pie d'Piper (currently The British Homeopathic Amalgam's Integrative Dissimulation Spokesbeing) responded to the news...
Ed Sheeran receives MBE for services to blandness
Ed Sheeran was clearly chuffed to receive his MBE for services to blandness, remarking, "I really don't know what to say, but it's a great...
Balding just 2 Gold medals away from on air orgasm
BBC sports anchor and part time Eddie Izzard lookalike Claire Balding is quite literally on the edge of making TV history by being the...
Man from Del Monte faces deportation
Amber Rudd has confirmed that the Man from Del Monte is to be deported.
The man who arrived in the UK in the 1980's recently...
Thatcher to be resurrected on Halloween night to put the caring back into the...
The office of the prime minister has reassured the nation this morning by announcing that patron saint of Toryism, Margaret Thatcher, is to be...
Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend
An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.
Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Queue for pedalos during Dunkirk evacuation shorter than Benidorm immigration control confirm veterans
Eyewitness accounts given by proper British holidaymakers desperate to return to the UK reveal that queues for pedalos during the Dunkirk evacuation were shorter...
Neo Nazis, KKK and Nigel Farage call Trump Chief of Staff “my kind of...
Nigel Farage joined the Ku Klux Klan and Neo Nazis across America to praise Donald Trump's choice of alt-right Breitbart propagandist Steve Bannon today.
"He's...
Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans
Come and have a go if you think your armada enough
After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...
NHS admit to clicking ‘remind me later’ on McAfee update for seven years straight
NHS digital has come under fire from computer security professionals; as an investigation into yesterday's Malware virus has revealed NHS used McAfee and hadn't updated it...
Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017
It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...
Government insists food banks rebrand as Universal Credit Bistros
Today, at a press conference in the champagne bar of the Astor club in Pall Mall, David Gauke, the work and pensions secretary no...
Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs
Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...
Campaign to buy Bono a Rolex stunning success
A Kickstarter campaign to buy Bono a £15,000 Rolex watch has been hailed as an astounding success by the man who started.
Bill Board told...
