Daily Mail reveals that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer
In a surprising u-turn, The Daily Mail has reported that travelling on Virgin trains cures cancer.
The report comes a week after it was reported...
Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims
Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Five great fake news items of 2016
2016 was the year of the post-truth, the fake news, and the downright lies. We at the Herald take a look back at the...
Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.
Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.
He was followed and...
Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...
There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
Noel Edmonds widely criticised for presenting North Korean game show Meal or No Meal
Noel Edmonds has denied allegations that he is due to present a North Korean take on Deal or no Deal called, Meal or no...
Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days
Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
England team reveal plan to completely disappoint everyone is going smoothly
Gareth Southgate has revealed that his plan to completely disappoint loads of English people is going exactly according to plan.
At a press conference Southgate...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
Stephen Hawking’s next book titled A Brief History of C*nts
Stephen Hawking is well regarded as the largest living brain in Britain and someone whose opinions are worth serious consideration, while Mr Hunt as something rather different.
Diane Abbott quits shadow cabinet to be the new face of Soul Glo
Diane Abbott has shocked the nation by resigning from the shadow cabinet days before election week in order to be the new face of Soul...
Crossfitter reprimanded after failing to disclose he does Crossfit to stranger
Heavily trapped shoulders shrugged a sigh of relief today as justice was served to a rogue Crossfitter who failed to tell every single person...
Rising crime and falling numbers of police are incredible coincidence, insists Downing Street
Rising crime rates and the falling numbers of policemen on the streets are just an amazing coincidence and are in no way related, sources...
Robbie Williams comes undone at World Cup opening ceremony
Robbie Williams finds himself in trouble after giving the finger to fans at World Cup opening ceremony after repeatedly being asked to sing 'This...
Labour MP Needs To Bathe In Ocean
Wanky-named cod impersonator and Labour MP Thangar Debonairre (ironically in charge of modern culture!) was recently told to "Get in the sea," by a...
