Other News

Employees from a Rochdale conservatory company have been explaining how a new employee is definitely up to something. Simon Simpson started on Monday and told us, "It's been good so far. Everyone is really...

Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what type of people might like their music. The musicians have...

A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to Jeremy's vision. We each believe passionately in socialism. We've even...

The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot in the time-honoured fashion of turning it off and back...

The budget statistics for the Department for Work and Pensions can often hide the raw human stories of the effects of poverty and joblessness. In yet another sad personal human tale, it has been revealed...

Food plays a huge part in our lives, many of us enjoying it almost every day. Ever since rationing was no longer necessary in the UK our tastes have evolved over time, branching into new...

The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.

Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it received an outstanding Ofsted review. Saint Lucifer's in Middleton, an Official...

The Rochdale Global Enterprises' operations and functions sub-committee concluded yesterday that a further meeting was needed before its next meeting on Tuesday week. The RGEOFSC meets regularly each week to discuss operations and functions. The...

‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore rope to the Conservative party, stating they have enough. The Rochdale...

The almost defunct and already totally irrelevant United Kingdom Independence Party, known better as UKIP, have today announced that they are to launch a range of toy doll merchandise following their recent party conference....

A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly toned and healthy condition. Happily now surrounded by pizza boxes...

A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a branch of Center Parcs. The official was commenting following a recent...

In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the blame for its deadly effects onto people. The virus, which was...

The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on my own.” The statement, and the at times quavering voice it...

A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men. Although identifying the cause the researchers were less exact about what...