Food plays a huge part in our lives, many of us enjoying it almost every day.

Ever since rationing was no longer necessary in the UK our tastes have evolved over time, branching into new and exciting culinary cultures. With the broadening of horizons of many comes the blinkered view of the few.

Some more rebellious groups of eaters have formed secret underground gangs to chow down together, whilst discussing the perfect wine accompaniment. One such group is Vegetarian Club, which has very strict rules of no meat and not talking about Vegetarian Club. One former member has agreed to talk to us after her controversial dismissal from the mysterious group.

Frieda Cowes exclusively told the Herald; “I have been a vegan for two years and had been a member of Vegetarian Club for more than five. One night, we were enjoying a lovely supper and it was the first time I’d been served quinoa. It just brought back memories of my childhood. A simpler time, a happier time, a time when I ate more chicken than a fat man winning a lifetime supply of KFC. It just slipped out, I said it tastes like chicken, which everything does! That’s when they kicked me out, tore up my ethically-made membership card and wished me all the best. Now I’ve hit rock bottom, eating this Greggs sausage roll.”

It is a scientific fact that everything new does taste like chicken, so it feels as though there may have been a little injustice in the way this hard-working former-vegan has been shunned. At least there is some solace for Frieda.

When the government drive up the price of meat and force us to eat bugs for protein, she will be well practiced in eating new crap that tastes like chicken.