ALBERT

V&A apologises for asking man who whipped his Albert out to cover up

0
The Victoria and Albert Museum has apologised after a man said he was asked to "cover up" while whipping his cock out for a...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

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Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

0
Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
Oxford

Elitist Oxbridge totally to blame for educational standards, says Department of Education

0
Look, an elephant, go on, shoot the elephant Oxbridge, as we all well know, is a pair of incredibly elitist and stuffy institutions, full of...
Interrogation

Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip

5
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Sean Spicer

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

7
The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to...
Boris Johnson

‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson

0
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson. The company is believed to have lined up an...
School Crossing

Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers

0
Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week. The decision comes in a week...
Dartboard

UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard

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The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...

Florence and the McMachine

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McDonald's is suing Florence over claims that the historic city is "promoting a healthy diet & lifestyle contrary to Western values

CPS To Charge Corbyn With Electoral Fraud

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Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since...

BBC Believes Last Labour Voter Now Extinct

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Naturalists have accused the BBC of poor science after it was revealed the broadcasting corporation believes there are no more Labour voters. The shock extinction...

Supermoon is even bigger than your mum’s backside

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Content creators and tabloids are celebrating this week as the Supermoon article market shows little sign of slowing. "It's kinda the opposite of the so-called...

Famous Welshman will undergo treatment for addiction to public humiliation

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Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation. In fact, so ready is he...

Former KGB thug Is UKIP leader’s hero

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Diane James, former Transvision Vamp singer current UKIP führer, says Vladimir Putin is one of her political heroes.  Speaking on The Sunday Politics, the Dot...

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