At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa.

The dickheads entered the Sibuya Game Reserve armed with a rifle, a silencer, wire cutters and an axe.

All the tools a poacher would need to shoot a rhinoceros and chop off its horn.

“We heard a commotion last night.” The owner of the game reserve told The Rochdale Herald.

“It was the lovely sound of three Rhino poachers who are hunting Rhinos to extinction being hunted to extinction.”

“Isn’t nature wonderful.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.