Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

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Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...

Island hipster cafe causes uproar with coal roasted pulled puffin bap breakfast

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The Island cafe in Kirkwall has hit the national news headlines today for all the wrong reasons for its coal roasted, pulled puffin bap...
Doctor and Child

Autism definitely probably worse than polio, says anti-vax “professor”

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Autism, a neurological developmental disorder, is definitely probably worse than polio, rubella and a host of other preventable diseases all but eradicated in the...

Yes Prime Minister explains the Trident Vote

Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe. Jim Hacker: I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.  Sir Humphrey:...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

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International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...

Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic

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Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.
Lions

Dickheads eaten by lions

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At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The...
Luxury goods shop

Local luxury goods firm goes bust

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  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

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The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday,...
Katie Hopkins

Court sentences Katie Hopkins to be burned at the stake as a witch

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In a shock move Friday, a UK libel court has ordered that controversial Daily Mail colonist and professional bigot, Katie Hopkins be burned at...

Stoke returning officer opened wrong envelope: Nuttall real winner!

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Stoke's election Returning Officer was forced to admit to an embarrassing mistake when he opened the wrong envelope and declared Labour had won. "I was...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin forced to have Anti-Drink-Driving Billboard attached to Forehead as Punishment for DUI

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London, England- Embroiled host Ant McPartlin will be hosting something new. While waiting to see what the final outcome of his DUI arrest, Ant...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...

Corbyn Calls for Alton Towers to be Nationalised as Queues for Rollercoaster hits 2...

Waiting for hours for the hope of a seat, crushed up against other in the park, or crouched uncomfortably in the queues is an...

Mr Tumble to sue SNN

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The much loved CBBC presenter Mr. Tumble, aka Justin Fletcher MBE, has set the wheels in motion with his legal team to issue Southend...

Average household savings wiped out by demonetisation of old pound coins under sofa cushions

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The Office for National Savings released alarming figures this morning suggesting that average household savings in the United Kingdom had been all but wiped...

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