Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

0
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Ryanair

Ryanair admit their trial of pilotless planes hasn’t gone exactly as planned

1
Ryanair have admitted that their latest cost-cutting measure, planes without pilots, has not been a complete success. The airline, famed for its no-frills stance, with...

Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

0
News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...

Candice wins Great British Pout Off 2016

Candice from Bedfordshire has won The Great British Pout Off after ten gruelling weeks of televised puckering.
Theresa May

Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...

11
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research. Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...
Houses of Parliament

Lib Dems table bill to give each Leave voter bendy banana and note saying...

0
MPs are meeting this afternoon to discuss vital legislation that could break the Brexit deadlock and potentially save the Government. A bill tabled by Jo...

Rochdale man’s Bake Off doomed to defeat

0
Rochdale man Tom Gilliford is set cook up a storm as he stars in Bake Off 2016 on BBC One. Tom was born and grew...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

2
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit

0
  The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president. These include a...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

0
The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

0
Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

1
The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...
Man holding a gun

Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen

0
Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...

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