Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.
With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced.
Weighing in...
Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...
Hollywood bimbo Gerard Butler says it never occurred to him that injecting bee venom...
Hollywood bimbo, Gerard Butler has been hospitalised with anaphylactic shock his agent has revealed.
Butler, injected 13 vials of bee venom in an attempt to...
Vegans to save UK billion man hours in tedious conversations by wearing hats saying...
There is widespread jubilation amongst business leaders around the UK after bold plans to save a billion working man hours a week have been announced by the Institute of Vegans.
Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons
Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...
Tsunami threat issued for East coast of England after Yorkshireman does massive poo
A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week...
Service improves slightly as RMT union goes on strike
Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike.
"I knew my...
New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve.
Chief...
Star Wars fan admits films a bit shit really
Massive Star Wars fan Derek Ducaccus has admitted that the entire series on the whole is a "bit shit if he was being honest."...
UKIP elect Diane James leader
UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader.
Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones.
Our intern Douglas has...
Eastenders ‘Let’s Make a Success of Brexit’ Special to air every night
BBC smash hit soap 'Eastenders' has been ordered by the Culture Secretary to throw its weight behind Brexit and help make a success of...
Victoria Beckham tipped for MBE in New Year’s Honours List
Victoria Beckham's aspirations to become really "posh" were finally realised when it was announced that she will be awarded an OBE in the New Year's Honours List.
