UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive
New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...
Social services called after Rochdale father makes children watch Watership Down
A child in Norden has been reduced to a blubbering wreck after watching the animated classic Watership Down.
What initially appeared to be a pleasant film,...
Study finds 50% of working day spent pretending to give a fuck about co-workers’...
Over 50% of the average working day is taken up pretending to give a fuck about other people's children, according to new research.
A study...
Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual
We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade...
May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity.
Catchphrases repeated to the point...
Friendless satirists reduced to talking in headlines on closed satire sites
Since the negative publicity surrounding "hoax news" networks, aka SATIRICAL FACEBOOK PAGES, much of their activity has been curtailed by certain leading executives of...
Big Mac Inventor’s funeral to be smaller than it looks in adverts
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger (and apparently wasn't aware of what Jim is supposed to be short for) has died leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney
As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris
Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return
More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT...
Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook
The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook.
Brexit secretary...
Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...
