Entire Tory Party arrested in clampdown on middle class cocaine users

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The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users. PC Drug-Bust...
Diabetes

Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’

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The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes. The results found that...
Bearded "hipster"

Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats

1
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...

Doctor Who goes back to Gallifrey after announcing ‘I give up’

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The protector of earth with more faces than Big Ben made the announcement on The One Show on Friday. Reflecting on the past 50 year of...

Corbyn says it’s the pits for May

5
Bouyed by his Saturday Durham Miner's Gala deification in front of the last 200,000 or so flat-cap wearing left-wing supporters in the country, Jeremy...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

9
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...

Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War

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Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...
Young boy, smiling proudly,  wearing police uniform holding a whistle and a truncheon

Rochdale – Police Given Emergency Powers to “Get Tough” After Bexley Brawl

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Following the largest known brawl on the streets of Britain in the post war period, Police have been given extra powers to "get tough"...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

2
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...
Amazon Tribe

Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe

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An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary. "Our...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Refugees Welcome

Fury as UK migration laws mean that London will be SWAMPED with Brummies by...

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Birmingham is a modern, cosmopolitan city whose motto, Forward, sums it up perfectly. The smug, self-serving shithole that is London is the reverse. With...

New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities

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The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the...

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