Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff
Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...
Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service
The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall
Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government...
If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope
Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Chequers agreement shreds itself
Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday.
"I popped out...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
Paul Hollywood slammed for attending birthday party dressed as Nigel Farage
Great British Bake Off star Paul Hollywood has apologised after being pictured dressed as Nigel Farage at a fancy dress party.
The 51-year-old said the...
Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage.
"I didn't know which way...
Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy
Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy?
Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...
New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused
Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Politicians human too. Balls!
Speaking on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 this afternoon, Strictly Come Dancer Ed Balls made the outrageous claim that politicians are...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
