Brawl sparked by £1 price tag in 99p store
A complaint about a price tag in Rochdale’s flagship 99p Store escalated into an unseemly brawl, causing damage estimated at £56.43.
Rochdale Magistrates’ Court heard...
Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow
Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.
Man whose toast popped at the same time as his kettle boiled causes black...
A Welshman had a shock today when a black hole opened in his kitchen.
The man, who can't be named because his name is...
Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations
David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia
Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia.
Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their...
Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs
Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs.
The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...
Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better
Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.
Government’s Brexit staff all writing “Trekking in Nepal” on CV’s
Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV's today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as "Trekking in Nepal".
All the...
Cat that will only eat one type of food still happy to lick its...
Your cat has confirmed that despite only being willing to eat one specific type of food, it is still more than happy to lick...
Liberal elite should stop bullying Stalin says Daily Mail
The Daily Mail has instructed its readers to avoid the film, The Death of Stalin.
In an editorial piece the Mail said, "This film...
Massive twat claims moral high ground
Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of...
Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something
Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
Waitrose Launch Free From Flavour and Common Sense Range in London Stores
Waitrose are launching a range of food that will taste of nothing and cost "shit-loads more" in their London stores.
Quentin Danvers, Head of Pretentious...
