Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa

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Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about...

Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...

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The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...

Issue I keep reminding everyone of hurting my reputation, says Cliff

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Cliff Richard, the long term bachelor and non-nonce, who our lawyers remind us isn't gay either, has been talking to the tabloid newspapers about...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

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It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their...
Michael Gove

Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie

12
Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

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Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...
Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

6
Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...

Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers

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Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own. Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a...

Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool

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Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Boots

Morning-after pill still cheaper than taking kids to Spain during School Holidays insists Boots Chief...

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High street chemist Boots have defied public pressure to reduce the price of their emergency contraceptive pill claiming it represents excellent value for money...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

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Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Toddler Prisoner

Government plans to lower age of criminal responsibility to 2 YEARS OLD

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To help with the deficit, the government will be lowering the age of criminal responsibility to 2. The age of criminal responsibility is currently...

Only three UKIP leaders till Xmas

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The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means...

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