Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab
Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London.
Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
This weeks Soap headlines
The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss!
Emmerdale Farm
It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...
GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Teenager on Love Island talks b******s for 60 minutes
Television viewers were left cringing tonight by one of the contestants on hit TV show Love Island.
Valerie Still said, "It was awful. They each...
Not all men, say men
Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn't something they would do
Following a recent incident where a...
Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal
Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon.
The furore began when Mr. Fox...
Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice
It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why.
U2 played Berlin last night and...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...
I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women
Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally.
The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Theresa May wins coveted Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy
Prime minister Theresa May has won the 2017 Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy ahead of stiff competition.
"It was an incredible effort from...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
Trump campaign drops email subject as Clinton exonerated
Republicans and other Trump supporters are graciously admitting that perhaps they got a little carried away today after it was revealed that no evidence...
Marvel say Super-Gonorrhoea ‘unlikely’ to feature in new Avengers movie
Marvel Studios have confirmed that there are currently no plans for the gonorrhoea 'superbug' to star in its next instalment of the Avengers franchise.
Referred to...
