Phil Collins says 80s were his Coldplay years
Phil Collins has been telling the Saga trade magazine, Zimmer how he sees the 1980's as his Coldplay years.
Collins told the magazine, "Look, when...
Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free
Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging
John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym
An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care...
Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...
French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan.
'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...
Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit
Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today.
Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Team GB aim for Olympic Gold in ‘Slipping over while carrying the shopping home’
Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have...
Brexit Party Manifesto a Wetherspoon’s menu with curry crossed out with crayon
The Brexit Party has finally unveiled their much anticipated election manifesto ahead of the EU elections.
To much fanfare the document has been revealed to...
Catholic Church installs automated ‘Buggery Forgiveness Hotline’ to ease waiting times
The hard-pushed Catholic Church has created call-centre style automated phone lines to reduce congestion caused by confessing their most popular sin.
"Local priests across the...
Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
People’s Republic of Kensington wins oxymoron of the year award
The people of Kensington & Chelsea, one of the richest boroughs in London, having elected their first Labour MP, have taken things one step...
Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.
It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Extinction Rebellion glue themselves to new Brexit deal
In a disastrous move for Boris Johnson, a member of climate protest group Extinction Rebellion have glued themselves to the newly negotiated Brexit deal.
White,...
If anyone is going to offer stable leadership it’s us, say bolted horses
Bolted horses around the UK have taken to social media to suggest that they could provide better leadership than Theresa May.
