Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.
A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...
POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit
It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit...
Some chap who won...
Keep me out of the news says BoJo
A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...
Greggs is not for us; says Jersey
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps
Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps.
The Euro-wankers, already quaking...
Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview
Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an...
Media blackout of J***** C***** continues
All national media outlets are continuing with their agreement to stop any reporting of a certain well known political leader this week, who we...
Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019
Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.
Labour confirms 2018 party conference will be held in Mecca
The Labour Party has denied accusations of ‘Muslim appeasement’ at its annual conference in Brighton, after several eagle-eyed observers noticed that its conference banner...
Rochdale pigeons attempt to teach Rochdale ‘couple art of love’
Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of...
Oscars goodie bag to include DNA evidence gathering kits
Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them.
The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners...
David Cameron admits he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian
Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian.
Cameron made the shock admission during an...
Katie Hopkins outraged as new IPhone X automatically set to permanently disabled and unable...
Odious journo-babbler, Katie Hopkins was furious yesterday when she discovered that her new IPhone X was in fact less use than Boris Johnson in...
Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council
On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.
Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level
Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...
Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
