Man who failed GCSE Science now a climate change expert
A man who failed GCSE Science has now declared that he is an expert in climate science and knows more than people who have...
Theresa May to appear from Pyramid in Glastonbury
Conservative leader to introduce those monks from Doctor Who on the main stage as Michael Eavis pours away his cider and looks accusingly at...
HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...
Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...
PARENT’S FURY AT COMPULSORY ARABIC LESSONS AT ROCHDALE PRIMARY SCHOOL
Parents are furious about Rochdale Primary School's decision to force children to learn Arabic symbols in Maths lessons.
Many parents believe that forcing their children...
Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Television viewers shocked to discover drama series that doesn’t involve paedophiles
Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn't involve paedophillia at any point.
Departure, a new...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience
According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience.
"Standing ankle deep in...
Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Darth Vader Faces CSA Action for Non Payment of Child Support
Darth Vader is facing a catastrophic attachment to earnings over claims of non-payment of child support.
The alleged offense occurred a long time ago in...
Brexit transition period ends when the EU says it ends, says Philip Hammond
The Chancellor Philip Hammond offered much needed clarity on the government's Brexit project today, by confirming it will enter a transition period which will...
Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists
Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today.
Before pressing the big red button that triggers...
Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Bloke paid to piss off bull killed by pissed off bull
A bloke whose job it was to piss off two tonne bulls managed to piss off a two tonne bull to the extent that...
