Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’
Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...
Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA
Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime.
Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...
Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist
This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...
Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Owen Smith calls for another vote on leadership challenge
In a statement the bespectacled Bilko impersonator said;
"Just like on the issue of Europe, many people wanted a different outcome. I'd be prepared to...
Lord Sauron announces IOC leadership bid
In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of...
Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’
Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far...
Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...
The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government.
"He has to be gripped...
Emergency shadow cabinet meeting called following shock resignation of Shadow Culture Secretary Adnan Khan
Jeremy Corbyn has called yet another emergency cabinet meeting today after Rochdale superstar Adnan Khan resigned from his position as Shadow Culture Secretary.
Corbyn's press secretary...
Owen Smith has beaten off 1,200 young boys – says Owen Smith
Owen Smith has caused another Labour controversy in parliament after beating off hundreds of boys in an attempt to pull his wife.
Mr. Smith told...
Nationalisation doesn’t work, says firm making millions out of Privatisation
Business - Residents left worried by the collapse of Carillion and ensuing loss of local services have been given the news by local MP...
Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation
Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively.
The...
