John Noakes

John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier

0
The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

32
In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The...

Sturgeon triggers IndyRef 2 after house lands on sister

0
Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister. Speaking through an interpreter she...

Politician was my second choice, I really wanted to be a maths teacher admits...

Diane Abbott has responded to criticism of her dismal interview performance on LBC yesterday by saying that she never really wanted to be a...
Blackhole

Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties

0
The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel. The...
Shrugging Man

Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government

2
There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...
Noel Edmonds

Man who says negativity causes cancer sues HBOS for fraud

0
A quiz show presenter who asked a cancer patient if it was possible his ill health is caused by your negative attitude has announced he...

Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description

2
Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't...

Celebrity chefs ranked most important profession in the world

0
In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential...
Referee

‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event

0
Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...

Friendless satirists reduced to talking in headlines on closed satire sites

0
Since the negative publicity surrounding "hoax news" networks, aka SATIRICAL FACEBOOK PAGES, much of their activity has been curtailed by certain leading executives of...

Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...

11
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...
Theresa May

Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs

0
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Angry

Seinfeld fan offended by ‘white free’ Luke Cage series

0
Rochdale couch tuber, Archibald Taggart, has hidden himself away behind a fort made entirely of his Friends and Seinfeld video and DVD box sets,...

UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website

The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site. Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...

Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay

2
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...

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