Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
Britain First Demands Mornington Crescent Be Renamed Mornington Cross
“If they want to have religious symbol in the name, they should rename it Mornington Cross, a proper Christian symbol, much more British,” Golding said.
Beards officially still cool – says man with beard
It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Nadine Dorries replaced as MP for Mid Bedfordshire with nice plate of warm mince
Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU...
Twats on train don’t know they’re twats
A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats.
The group, who...
Theresa May’s password ‘strongandstable’ easiest to guess say hackers
In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and...
Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?
Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop...
This weeks Soap headlines
The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss!
Emmerdale Farm
It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Santa under pressure to explain unfair listing system
The popular dispenser of Christmas gifts, Santa Claus, has come under pressure today to explain the process behind the compilation of his Naughty and...
Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee.
It's a...
Michael Gove says – I’m sick of experts, and by experts I mean Canadians...
Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.
Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons
Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of denials denying denials.
"We knew about Mr Trump's links to...
Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
