Paul Nuttall Demands Return To Ice Age
Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this...
Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.
A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers.
Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...
Boris catches coronavirus despite consistently washing hands of all responsibility
Finally, after what feels like years of writing about this car crash of a government you NHS applauding, social distance ignoring flag shaggers voted...
Jeremy Corbyn to lose seat under Tory boundary change plans
Lord Reginald Foxhunter-Shandy said: "It's the biggest boundary shake up since the last one".
The plans unveiled today will see Jeremy Corbyn lose his Islington...
Strangers raise over £170,000 to give to anyone
A GoFundMe page was set up yesterday and has already raised over a £170,000 with all proceeds to someone.
The page's founder, Simon Collins, said;...
Remember the Wombles? Forgotten 70’s BBC stars found starving in hole in ground
In their 1970s heyday they topped the charts with popular sing-a-long anthems like "Remember You're a Womble" and "Wombling Merry Christmas."
But after the hits...
Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators
Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...
Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election
After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an...
Michael Barrymore to present I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here
Michael Barrymore is to present the next series of, "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here".
The new series will see contestants head to...
Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Sun to be sold in paper bag
The Sun newspaper is to be sold with a free brown paper bag from next week, it was revealed on that Twitter thingy today.
“From...
Famous Welshman will undergo treatment for addiction to public humiliation
Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation.
In fact, so ready is he...
Study finds 50% of working day spent pretending to give a fuck about co-workers’...
Over 50% of the average working day is taken up pretending to give a fuck about other people's children, according to new research.
A study...
British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit
Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...
Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'.
"I wanted to play with...
Trump Makes Farage “Hand of the King” – Hillary to “Take the Black” &...
Following his seizure of the Irony Throne, Donald Trump has moved quickly to form his Small Hands Council.
