Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...
Homeless

Government announce £100m fund to eradicate park benches and electrify shop doorways

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Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today. As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches...

“Why does nobody believe me when I say I’m sorry?” asks woman with made...

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A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to...

Plans for Trident found wrapped around a portion of chips

Detailed plans of the Vanguard submarine and Trident nuclear defence system have been discovered in Haywood. It's not currently clear how the detailed specification drawings and...

Corbyn’s reelection met with scenes of ecstatic jubilation

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There were scenes of unprecedented jubilation at the news of the corduroy communist Corbyn's reelection at Downing Street today. A spokes-Sloan for the Tory Party...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...

New York Giraffe constipated not pregnant

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On the 11th of February, the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York began a live feed from the inside of a Giraffe pen. 'April' the...

The Herald Headline Review: Today’s Sunday paper headlines in one easy read

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The Sun on Sunday leads with a report that Jeremy Corbyn was seen at the same hotel as someone vaguely related to someone who...

KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa

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The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...

Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep

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A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.

Theresa May pledges to not remain silent on pee in swimming pools

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Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report...

Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’

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The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill...

Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers

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A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...
Refugee

New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers

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Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

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Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...
David Davis

Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU

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It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.

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