Amnesty International petition UN to halt Southern Rail human rights abuses
Southern announced today that the endless years of appalling service were over.
"We've been building to this moment." Someguywhohatespeoplesaid. "And today
I can announce that we're replacing...
Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool.
He moves...
Jose mourinho assures Spain ‘money was just resting in my account’
Jose Mourinho has sought to reassure the Spanish tax office that the £3m he is alleged to owe them in unpaid taxes has in...
Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row
Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...
Nuttall Claims Best Actor At Oscars
Armenian born British Actor Constantine Felangi, better known by his stage name of Paul Nuttall, seized the coveted golden statue for Best Actor at...
Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics
There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...
Dickheads eaten by lions
At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa.
The...
Elderly white bloke invoking blitz spirit wins Brexit’s Got Talent
In an emotional final show, 102 year old Tommy Atkins held off challengers by singing Vera Lynn songs in a quavering voice in front...
UK in shock as Boris Johnson steps down
The people of the United Kingdom took a collective gasp today, Wednesday 1st of April, as Boris Johnson announced he would be stepping down.
"This...
Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod
The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.
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BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw
BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...
Mixed Reviews for Brexit Easter Eggs
The government’s official Brexit Easter Eggs have been flying off the shelves this week but many consumers have been left disappointed.
Betty Roffin of Rochdale...
Arsehole dies in Karmic Avalanche
An arsehole died on Saturday in an avalanche of karma whilst trying to piss off and murder a massive angry bull in front of...
Farage and Woolfe hospital hand job scandal
Farage and Woolfe have been caught on film in anothe compromising position.
‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job
John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there...
