David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

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David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab

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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...
Beach

Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems

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Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems. The...

This weeks Soap headlines

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The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss! Emmerdale Farm It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...

London Motorists furious that cyclists lives might be saved

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London drivers are currently outraged at London mayor Sadiq Khan's plans to reduce cyclists deaths. "Over half of cyclist deaths in the capital involve construction...
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

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WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...

Teenager on Love Island talks b******s for 60 minutes

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Television viewers were left cringing tonight by one of the contestants on hit TV show Love Island. Valerie Still said, "It was awful. They each...
Laptop

Not all men, say men

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Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn't something they would do Following a recent incident where a...
Boris Johnson

Keep me out of the news says BoJo

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A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...
Downing Street

May to ‘Rasta’ it up

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In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal

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Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox...
Bono

Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice

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It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why. U2 played Berlin last night and...

Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore

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A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Hide an Seek

Theresa May wins coveted Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy

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Prime minister Theresa May has won the 2017 Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy ahead of stiff competition. "It was an incredible effort from...

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