Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym
An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care...
Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...
French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan.
'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...
ISIS claims responsibility for orange Revels.
A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet...
ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance
ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenue
A Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...
Rooney arrested crying into bottle of 20/20 wearing Man Utd pyjamas
My night of 20/20, Man Utd pyjamas and Steradent with mysterious brunette.
Everton striker Wayne Rooney has been charged with drink-driving offences in the...
Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit
Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today.
Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.
It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Extinction Rebellion glue themselves to new Brexit deal
In a disastrous move for Boris Johnson, a member of climate protest group Extinction Rebellion have glued themselves to the newly negotiated Brexit deal.
White,...
Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...
Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....
Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone
The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...
Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday
"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...
The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08
The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...
Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo
Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...
Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps
Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps.
The Euro-wankers, already quaking...
