Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons
The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...
Cost of mini milks going up?
MPs warned today that inflation is likely to increase to 3% in coming months and people are starting to worry.
During this current heatwave or...
Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany.
The...
US to build lots of walls around Mexicans in US.
Donald Trump has confirmed that the building of the Mexican wall will go ahead and has given further details of its construction.
Rather than trying...
Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?
In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...
Waitrose appoint new Head of Egg Hiding
Supermarket giant Waitrose today announced the appointment of Alex Bell as the new Head of Egg Hiding.
Proudly the UK market leader in un-helpful shop...
Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow
Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.
Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...
A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate.
Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...
David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
Michael Gove is handsome and intelligent according to new YouGove poll.
A new poll by Britain's newest survey company has revealed that Michael Gove is both handsome and intelligent.
The new company, YouGove, polls members of...
Dyslexic holocaust denier accused of being anti-semantic
"It's them Joos again!" exclaimed Noel Iteracy. "I hate Joos, except Orange Juice, they was a good band, but Big Country was huge twats...
Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female
In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
Man who’s ‘sick of reboots’ stops watching them
A man who claims that reboots of movies shouldn't be allowed because they always ruin the originals has stopped watching them.
Trevor Sallis, an office...
Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall
Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours
Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
