David Davis U-turn

David Davis fails to negotiate corner on way to Brexit talks

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Brexit supremo David Davis has suffered a minor road accident when he tried, and failed, to negotiate a corner. Healthcare professionals were on the scene...
Theresa May

Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...

3
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...

Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter

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British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...

No binary education says May

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...

Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit

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  The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president. These include a...

Pound hitting 8 year low nothing to do with Brexit Professor at University of...

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Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against...

Legalising cannabis will raise around £1Bn in Doritos sales

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A leading think tank of financial experts claim that the legalisation of Cannabis for recreational use in the UK could generate an estimated £1Bn...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

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In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

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The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...

Eastenders ‘Let’s Make a Success of Brexit’ Special to air every night

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BBC smash hit soap 'Eastenders' has been ordered by the Culture Secretary to throw its weight behind Brexit and help make a success of...

May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove announced as editor of Unbelievable Bastard Magazine

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Following the news that Gideon "man of the people" Osborne has been appointed editor of The London Evening Standard the publishers of Backstabbers Quarterly...
Ant and Dec

I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...

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Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one...

New UKIP leader already third longest serving leader after both Nigel Farages

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Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...
analogue

Government digital service actually still analogue

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The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

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Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...

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