School Crossing

Crossings outside schools to be abolished to cut childhood obesity numbers

0
Rochdale Council has announced the removal of pedestrian crossings from in front of schools as early as next week. The decision comes in a week...

Police concern as Derbyshire sees record levels of panic hiking

0
Police have appealed to members of the public to exert self restraint as hordes of bored walkers descended on Britain's highways and byways and...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

0
The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
Businessman

We’re not doing anything dodgy with your data, says company renowned for doing dodgy...

0
A multi-million organisation has insisted that there's nothing suspicious at all about the new data policy updates, despite them being completely and utterly suspicious. 'The...

Chances of Patel having job by Christmas looking Priti grim

0
Theresa May's office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and...
George RR Martin

George RR Martin ‘very excited’ to find out what happens in next season of...

The award winning author and Terry Pratchet impersonator George RR Martin has revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he is very excited to find...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets - say NASA

If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA

0
American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

0
Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...

Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”

0
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space. UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
Horse Racing

Britain begins cheap cocaine and animal abuse phase of lockdown easing

0
The Government has announced that horse racing can begin again from today.  A spokesman said, "From today people will be able to gather in groups...

Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay

0
The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...

Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go

0
Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
Royal Mail

Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas

0
As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...

Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”

0
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...

Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well

0
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Christiano Ronaldo

Just £300,000 a month can feed a footballer for a whole week. Please give...

2
It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts