Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.

“Messiah” Corbyn Denies Anti-Semitism as Links to ‘People’s Front of Judea’ Emerge

Jeremy Corbyn was today forced to again deny claims of Anti-Semitism after it emerged that he had "strong links" to the Palestinian terrorist organisation...
Amazon

Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season

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Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

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A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim,...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s plot to run the country foiled by Theresa May

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Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the...
Christiano Ronaldo

Just £300,000 a month can feed a footballer for a whole week. Please give...

2
It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on...
Confusion

Labour less popular than Conservatives snap poll reveals

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Labour voters up and down the country were dismayed to learn that, according to a poll of absolutely everybody with a vote in the...

Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!

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A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5...

Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency

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After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency. Speaking to disappointed...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Mary Poppins in long awaited Disney remake

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Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins. Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...

Poll proves delivering comedy through a voice synth makes it quarter of a million...

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A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer. The vote...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

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Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...

Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove

Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.

SNP Manifesto just bootleg copy of Braveheart and sheet of paper saying Referendums

The long awaited SNP manifesto is released today to huge anticipation.
Blue Passport

People’s Republic of Kensington wins oxymoron of the year award

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The people of Kensington & Chelsea, one of the richest boroughs in London, having elected their first Labour MP, have taken things one step...

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