Boris Johnson

Asda Self-service checkout till beats Boris Johnson at Scrabble

0
Scientists from Rochdale College have developed an artificially intelligent self service till that beat Boris Johnson at Scrabble.  Dr Frederick Seddon said, "We were wanting...
Trump

Donald Trump shocked Democrat voters also allowed to buy guns

0
Donald Trump was horrified to learn last night that Democrats are allowed to buy guns after being rushed off stage by Secret Service Agents.

Terror in the skies over Manchester airport!

0
There was panic and pandemonium on a Jet2 flight to Rhodes yesterday morning when the editor of The Rochdale Herald, Quentin Q Fortesqueue, realised...

Mime artist finds way out of glass box

0
Mime artists across the world are silently applauding the first ever recorded occurrence of a mime artist breaking out of a glass box. There was...
Confusion

Labour less popular than Conservatives snap poll reveals

8
Labour voters up and down the country were dismayed to learn that, according to a poll of absolutely everybody with a vote in the...

Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!

0
A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5...

Outrage as Dawn French confirmed for lead role in The Diane Abbot Story

0
Anti-racism campaigners were up in arms Wednesday following the news that Dawn French has been chosen to play the lead role in the upcoming...
Theresa May

Theresa May confirms Brisrael means Brisrael

4
Theresa May today confirmed that "Brisrael means Brisrael" when asked about the Israeli Embassy's interventions to promote or destroy the careers of British MPs. "Look,...
Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

0
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

0
Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

0
SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...

Theresa May to woo younger voters with some fava beans and a nice chianti

4
It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

0
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...
Houses of Parliament

New dress code requires MPs to wear oven gloves in Parliament at all times

0
The UK Parliament's Committee on Standards has announced plans to require all male MPs to wear oven gloves whenever they attend the building. The Committee...

Nigel Farage launches the Nigel Farage Party

7
Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail To Unveil New Passengerless Trains By 2018

34
Southern Rail have announced the latest innovation to their transport, passengerless trains. Following the announcement of a move to driverless trains, bosses have decided to...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts