Katie Hopkins

Massive chip dislocates Katie Hopkins shoulder

6
There were grave concerns for Katie Hopkins today when the massive chip she uses as a shoulder deepened and caused her arm to calve...
Theresa May

Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away...

Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms

1
The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway. The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

0
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
Green

Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers

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Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Theresa May

“Don’t worry, my government will soon be gone.” May reassures a worried public

15
Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone." "It...

Trump in Mexican standoff

0
Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.  Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy...

Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

6
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".

People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds

People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research. The study, which...

Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.

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British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...

New Far Right Perfume Released.

0
In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...

Outcry as Moon to get 4G before Burnley

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There was protest in East Lancashire today, as plans by Vodafone & Nokia to launch a 4G mobile network on the lunar surface from...

Norway’s female football team found in cocaine-fuelled strip club romp

17
Just hours after the Norwegian football association ruled that female footballer's pay must be brought in line with that of the men's, the entire...

Watson Denies Corbyn Car Crash Rumours

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Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Tom Watson, has denied rumours that recent focus groups conducted by the party to determine popularity of alternative leaders involved simulated car accidents in which Jeremy Corbyn was involved in hit and run incidents.
Game of Thrones

Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns

4
As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...

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