Ant and Dec

I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...

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Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one...
unhappy man

Beleavers still think they’re in with a chance of another Referendum

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Since June 23 Brexiters led by an enraged Nigel Farage haven't stopped moaning about the majority vote for Britain to remain in EU. "I don't...

Religious leader applauds honour killing in US

A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Adolf Hitler

Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book

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A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...

Celebrities are over-rewarded claims famous, multi-millionaire, award winning star and author on accepting his...

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David Walliams has, in a stunning show of hypocrisy and with no hint of irony, claimed that celebrities are over-rewarded as he accepted an...

Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting

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America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.
Big Shop

British economy under pressure as threat of Nuclear Armageddon puts weekly ‘Big Shop’ In...

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Rochdale housewife Vicky Lucas has revealed the dichotomy she faces over her usual Saturday trip to Asda. "Normally I'd go and do my 'big shop'...

Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers

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A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...

Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”

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Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...

Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me

Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.  "I was...

Justin Bieber cancels world tour due to popular demand

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Justin Bieber has cancelled the remainder of his world tour after 1.4bn Chinese people demanded it. A publicist told us, "Premature endings are always disappointing....

Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep

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A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.

Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes

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Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
Andy Murray

Andy Murray’s Mum still won’t let him quit tennis club

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The Rochdale Herald has discovered that Andy Murray's Mum still won't let him quit tennis club. "She promised me that if I won Wimbledon I...
Applause Clapping

Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause

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Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...

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