Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

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The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...
Beautiful young woman is getting facial chocolate mask at spa. She is lying with closed eyes. The girl is smiling

Rochdale Beautician cautioned in blacking up row

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There were furious scenes in Rochdale as a local beautician was arrested on suspicion of racism after "blacking up" unsuspecting customers. Visitors to the day...

Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’

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President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to...

Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion

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Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu...

Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...

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It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...

Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US

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In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

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A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...
Border Collie Sunglasses

Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister

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Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...

Corbyn says we’re going to build a wall and Sturgeon is keen to pay...

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Communist rabble-rouser and socialist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, today announced the central plank of his party's manifesto pledge will be to build a wall between England...
Rastafarian

Liberal Democrats secure vital Rastafarian vote

The Liberal Democrats' General Election campaign took a huge step forward this morning after they secured the vital UK Rastafarian vote.
Hospital

If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt

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The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down...

Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit

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The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit. No really. The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people. That's not even satire. What the...
White Walkers

HS2 in doubt as MP’s raise concerns over giving White Walker access to high...

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Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...

Communists Confused by Billy No Mates

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The Far left have found themselves even more confused than normal today after revelations from losing Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith.  The Leninist/Trotskyist group of...

Rochdale Man’s attempt to iron his shirt declared a blazing success

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Unbelievably, a Rochdale man has found the iron and ironing-board and pressed his Friday night drinking shirt, unaided. Last Friday, Alan Bloke (37) was...
Wayne Rooney

Rooney arrested crying into bottle of 20/20 wearing Man Utd pyjamas

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My night of 20/20, Man Utd pyjamas and Steradent with mysterious brunette. Everton striker Wayne Rooney has been charged with drink-driving offences in the...

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