Facebook war between cyclists and motorists over as Froome takes one for the team

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The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last...

Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow

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Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.

Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians

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The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...

Mordor agrees below inflation pay rise for Hobbits

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Over a million Hobbits across The Shire including front line ring bearers and turnip farmers are expected to receive 6% pay increases, the Rochdale Herald has been told.
Whiskey

Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania

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Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...

God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’

Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus. Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...

Rochdale worries as EU funding crisis hits Cornish supply chain

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Mark Duddridge, chairman of the Cornwall and Isles of Scilly Local Enterprise Partnership, has said he wants a guarantee from the UK Government that...
Science Class

DUP pushes to rename school classes in ‘Science’ as ‘Magic’

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There has been a legion of support for the move though, as it would spark pupil’s interest in the subject of science again.

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

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Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Liam Fox

Saudia Arabia to pick next UK defence secretary

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Saudi Arabia moved swiftly to reassure the British people this evening that the resignation of Michael Fallon has not caught them by surprise and...
Peter Capaldi

Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...

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“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said,...
Castle in woods

Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017

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Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned. This year has seen, in very...
Parents

Man in a frock told us boys shouldn’t wear dresses, say parents suing school...

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The parents of a child who saw another boy in a dress at school are suing the school because a man in a frock...

Nigel Farage makes surprise appearance at Rochdale circus

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The audience at Rochdale's Junkie Bros Circus certainly got more than they bargained for last night when Farage entered the ring. In a bizarre...
The Sun

The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book

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The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.  As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
Ross and Rachel

Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break

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With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the...

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