We’re just going to f**king do Brexit, you lot look after yourselves May tells...
The Prime Minister shocked the country today by forcing a kindly old lady in a blue and yellow hat that looked like an EU...
Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.
A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers.
Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...
Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.
Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...
Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album.
The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
‘Research confirms Coffee holds key to immortality’
There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds...
George Osborne represents the new Standard Londoner
There was surprise throughout the media world today when it was announced that Gideon "George" Osborne, MP for Tatton, would join the London Evening...
People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.
A Scottish...
Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...
Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency
Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.
Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
Greggs is not for us; says Jersey
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Jeremy Corbyn’s children still enjoying playing with their new coal
Jeremy Corbyn’s children reportedly had a brilliant Christmas and are still enjoying playing with the new coal their Dad bought them.
Scientists confirm this is the weird parallel universe
After 2 years of unprecedented levels of worldwide idiocy, scientists have discovered that the parallel universe where weird shit happens is this one.
Popular...
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
I wish it could be Brexit everyday
When the pounds begins to fall
and economic growth begins to stall
It puts a great big smile on a remainer’s face
If you dive...
May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson
The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...
