U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials
The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of denials denying denials.
"We knew about Mr Trump's links to...
Celebrities reveal best detox is to take money from idiots
Celebrities have allegedly been explaining how the best detox is to take money from idiots.
In a statement celebrity food blogger Andrew Coconut Fox said,...
Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove
Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.
Paul Nuttall Has Chuka Umunna Running Scared for South London Seat
Paul Nuttall gave an interview with a surprise this morning on the Today programme on BBC4.
Asked if he would satisfy the curiosity of literally...
Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum
It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their...
Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.
It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...
The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08
The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...
Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design
The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces.
The...
Study finds 50% of working day spent pretending to give a fuck about co-workers’...
Over 50% of the average working day is taken up pretending to give a fuck about other people's children, according to new research.
A study...
New bay platform at Rochdale station opens
Great news for Rochdalians!
As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station!
The new platform - actually a...
Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics
Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...
Dry January downgraded to reduced drinking January
A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead.
Bill...
Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...
Man who says negativity causes cancer sues HBOS for fraud
A quiz show presenter who asked a cancer patient if it was possible his ill
health is caused by your negative attitude has announced he...
Satirists face existential crisis
Satirists around the world face extinction due to rising stupidity levels and utter fucking idiocy.
"How am I supposed to write satire about this, there's...
