Martin Roberts Demands Recount.
Property botherer and dreadful chef Martin Roberts has demanded a recount following his failure to be elected President of the Jungle in this year's...
Sneaky German declares Last Goal’s the Winner and takes ball home
Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!
Samuel L Jackson to provide voiceover for Conservative DUP deal
The world of entertainment is buzzing with the rumour that Samuel L. Jackson is to provide the voiceover for the Conservative DUP agreement announced...
Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers
Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Fears for safety of Strictly 2016 producers as AdB meets JCC
Strictly Come Dancing returned to our screens this evening in a whirlwind of glitz and glitter. Amongst the celebrities dancing for our pleasure over...
Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...
Jeremy Corbyn’s conference speech just him saying “Oh Jeremy Corbyn” for 1 hour
Jeremy Corbyn's conference speech has been rapturously received by conference delegates.
The speech consisted solely of Corbyn repeating the line, "Oh Jeremy Corbyn" for a...
Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations
David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
May May trigger Brexit in May? Maybe
Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent.
The slogan...
Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick,...
Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting
America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.
Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers
A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...
Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’
President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to...
ISIS Second In Command Killed Again
The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command.
"He was killed by...
Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy
Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...
