Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg frustrated by number of GDPR messenger pigeons arriving at his dovecot

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Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the...

Apple announce the launch of the new iPhone Glitch-delivering all of the ‘Out of...

3
Apple today announced a new generation of iPhone: The iPhone Glitch. The new iPhone Glitch will deliver today all of the update-delivered ‘enhancements’ that customers...
Ant and Dec

Ant or Dec to present Saturday Night Takeaway without Ant or Dec

Ant or Dec is going to present ITV's Saturday Night Takeaway on his or his own for the rest of this series, it has...
Amber Rudd

BBC warns reporters against mispronouncing Leadsom as loathsome

14
 The BBC's all powerful pronunciation department Tuesday issued a red letter warning to reporters over mispronouncing the surname of Leader of the House of...

HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...

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Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...

DON’T PANIC! The weather is still shit.

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After weeks of hail, freezing temperatures, snow drifts, closed motorways and cancelled trains, the prospect of a mild few days at the beginning...

Living in Italy and eating really nice food might cure depression, confirms Institute of...

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The institute for the blindingly obvious has today proclaimed that living in Italy and eating nice food may help depression. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Adolf Hitler

Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book

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A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

Anna Soubry appointed official Tory Deflector

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After Miss Soubry's stellar and wholly forgettable performance for the remain campaign, she was deemed perfect for the role. A tory deflector will typically take...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

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The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo

Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords

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It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night. The blow, sponsored by a rogue...

John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging

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John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
Sean Spicer

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

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The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to...

Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation 

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Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'. Ralph Johnson of Middleton said; "Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself...

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