Dad boils right amount of pasta for family of 4
Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self.
Many strive to reach this end...
Love Island’s Amber has a lovely personality, says man with sock on penis
The ITV reality show Love Island has been slammed recently for being 'a shallow excuse to show some flesh in the name of...
EMINEM IN $24m AUCTION MIX UP
World famous rap star Eminem has revealed how he recently purchased a storage unit full of broken IKEA furniture for $24M, purely by accident!
Marshall...
British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations
David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is pregnant!
Possibly...
The female reporters at the Herald have been watching Cheryl Fernandez-Versini's tummy with quivering anticipation. And now we can exclusively reveal that 33-year-old Cheryl,...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...
Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia.
The foreign secretary said...
Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...
It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...
Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...
A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...
Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’
Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz.
The...
Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob
Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere.
Right wing nutjob...
Poll proves delivering comedy through a voice synth makes it quarter of a million...
A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer.
The vote...
You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.
The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
