Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.
News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs.
Apparently, Theresa...
Band at every live gig is having loads more fun than audience
According to experts who have been to gigs every band in the world is definitely having more fun than the audience.
"Standing ankle deep in...
Darth Vader Faces CSA Action for Non Payment of Child Support
Darth Vader is facing a catastrophic attachment to earnings over claims of non-payment of child support.
The alleged offense occurred a long time ago in...
Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Brexit transition period ends when the EU says it ends, says Philip Hammond
The Chancellor Philip Hammond offered much needed clarity on the government's Brexit project today, by confirming it will enter a transition period which will...
Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists
Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today.
Before pressing the big red button that triggers...
Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Engineer designs pram that fits in boot of car
Rumours are circulating around the World's scientific community that the man who has designed a pram that fits in the boot of a car...
Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration.
"It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage
In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...
‘I moved for new challenges’ says footballer now on three quarters of a million...
Brazilian bladder-hoofer Naymar Davis Junior today explained his reasons for his £200 million move from Europe's most technically skilled, most competitive national football league...
Topless Danczuk in topless holiday prison catfight scandal
The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property.
Simon Danczuk, God...
Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama
Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.
No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.
“We have...
Only alternative to catastrophic Tory Brexit is catastrophic Labour Brexit says Corbyn
Jeremy Corbyn has sought to reassure Labour Party members fearful of a catastrophic Tory Brexit that a Labour Brexit will be just as hard...
