Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Middle class first time buyers struggling to afford luxury and luxury homes
Middle class first time buyers are up in arms over house prices this week as the housing market continued to slow while the price...
Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister
Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...
Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit
The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit.
No really.
The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people.
That's not even satire.
What the...
Illusionist ‘Dynamo’ announces new chain of restaurants called AbraKebabra
Dead-pan mind boggler 'Dynamo' has announced that he will be opening a new chain of restaurants called 'AbraKebabra'.
Bradford born 'Dynamo', real name Derren Copperfield,...
Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”
Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.
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Gay Muslims for Christmas – supermarket turns up the inclusion to 11 with groundbreaking...
Pray together, lay together
Scottish supermarket retailer Laldy has long sought to be a market disrupter by bringing cheap, if slightly bizarre, product, combinations.
This...
Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation
Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'.
Ralph Johnson of Middleton said;
"Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself...
Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Elon Musk to harness teenage angst as source of renewable energy
South African science lunatic & suspected wizard Elon Musk has turned his attentions to what he calls "mankind's greatest untapped resource".
A spokesperson for Mr...
Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators
Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...
Corbyn’s speech was good but what have Cheesemakers done for me, asks man at...
Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands.
The MP, short for the Messiah of the People,...
Parliament summoned for cross party reshuffle
An emergency cross party parliamentary meeting has been organised for 1:00pm today to try and resolve our broken political system.
With the Tories fighting each...
If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...
Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare...
