Man whose toast popped at the same time as his kettle boiled causes black...
A Welshman had a shock today when a black hole opened in his kitchen.
The man, who can't be named because his name is...
Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...
Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday
A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’.
The victim,...
Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...
Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.
Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting
America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.
Religion stupid confirms Jesus
"Religion is very stupid and the way you practice it is frankly divisive," said Jesus.
His good friend, Mohammad, agreed wholeheartedly, adding "seriously, some of...
East London Charity Shops on standby to get loads of West Ham training kit...
East London charity shops are preparing for a bumper delivery of training kit and promotional items after West Ham appointed David Moyes to their...
BBC to replace Great British Bake off with The Super English Cake Off
I resent the implication - said an angry Tracy Naylor, head of food entertainment at the Beeb who had agreed to meet me in...
You’re more likely to find nice top at car boot sale wearing blindfold than...
It turns out that you’re more likely to find something that fits if you close your eyes and dig around in a skip or the boot of a stranger’s car than at TK Maxx.
Bank Holiday Not Fucking Long Enough Decide People
Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald.
"It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...
Tsunami threat issued for East coast of England after Yorkshireman does massive poo
A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
