A word in your ear Mr Lineker
I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker
Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar
If your boss still works with the devil
Then tell them to...
Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...
Conservatives to shoot badgers until Henry VIII powers allow them to hunt with dogs...
Conservative MP George Eustice was allegedly out celebrating at a champagne breakfast this morning after deciding to kill a lot more badgers in order...
Nick Clegg and the Rise of the Alt-Righteous
The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours.
They vehemently reject mainstream opinions...
Beleavers still think they’re in with a chance of another Referendum
Since June 23 Brexiters led by an enraged Nigel Farage haven't stopped moaning about the majority vote for Britain to remain in EU.
"I don't...
It’s bloody difficult being a bloody difficult woman, says bloody difficult woman.
On Thursday night, Theresa May was stood up by her strong mandate and had to make her lonely way home alone. "Being Prime Minister...
Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...
The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...
May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either
Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Tooth Fairy tax fully costs Tory manifesto
Humbled by her failed election gambit Theresa May today announced a new policy to resolve the social care funding crisis which torpedoed her election...
Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.”
“It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent
The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win.
Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high
A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said
"She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least...
Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
People’s Republic of Kensington wins oxymoron of the year award
The people of Kensington & Chelsea, one of the richest boroughs in London, having elected their first Labour MP, have taken things one step...
