2017 calendar with skull on it

2016 Will Be A Cakewalk Compared To Me Says 2017

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  Many people have put 2016 down as one of the worst years of their lives, with a series of disastrous political events; the deaths...

Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol

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Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.

Goebbels didn’t like satire either – satirists tell Zuckerberg

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As the entire world struggles to unravel themselves from their twisted knickers following the surprise election of a sexist satsuma to the Whitehouse satirists have come under fire from Google and Facebook for writing fake news, otherwise known as fiction.

21,000 additional mental health workers unnecessary if Jeremy Hunt used his real name

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“Imagine if you could call that overbearing parent a proper Jeremy Hunt to their face? And you could do it all your life? Just get that stress out before it builds into an illness that blights your life.”
Shrugging Man

Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government

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There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public...

Mystery void inside Great Pyramid contains plans for ancient financial scheme that’s a total...

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Archaeologists announced yesterday the discovery of a mysterious void inside the Great Pyramid of Giza and that initial exploration revealed what appear to be...
Crying Man

Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...

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Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...

Pound hitting 8 year low nothing to do with Brexit Professor at University of...

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Professor Cliff Edge has been quick out of the blocks today to reassure the public that the pound hitting an eight year low against...
unhappy man

Beleavers still think they’re in with a chance of another Referendum

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Since June 23 Brexiters led by an enraged Nigel Farage haven't stopped moaning about the majority vote for Britain to remain in EU. "I don't...

KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa

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The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...

Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...

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It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...
Theresa May

May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either

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Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...

Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them

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Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...

Corbyn stands on box labelled Schrödinger’s jobs brexit at Labour conference

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The Labour conference in Brighton today will feature an entertaining diversion when national treasure Jeremy Corbyn takes to the stage and stands on a...

Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament

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Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell.  £118 million has been...
Boris Johnson

Keep me out of the news says BoJo

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A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...

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