Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber
In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...
Co-worker with ‘resting bitch-face’ actually really nice
We all fear change in Rochdale especially when we meet new people and feel the tension building as we force small talk.
One local...
Jocob Rees-Mogg insists women have absolute rights over bodies, except if they receive gift...
The fall-out from the Weinstein allegations of rape, sexual abuse and unwanted sexual advances continues to widen and include those in political life.
Whilst the...
New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
Beards Not Cool After All
24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...
Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
Pound for Pound Sandi Toksvig is paid same as Stephen Fry for hosting QI...
Following the publication of the salaries paid to its top stars the BBC has rushed to deny reports that QI presenter Sandi Toksvig was...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
UK’s employers terrified workers will stop working through their lunch hour if houses become...
Concerns have been expressed today by the United Kingdom’s biggest employers that a house price crash will lead to a deepening of the productivity...
Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style
North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style".
The song, which is his own twist...
Dad boils right amount of pasta for family of 4
Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self.
Many strive to reach this end...
Samuel L. Jackson agrees to play Trump in upcoming biopic
It has been announced that veteran Hollywood actor Samuel L. Jackson will play Donald Trump in a biopic scheduled to be released in late...
Facebook Users Don’t Twist Tragedy Into Confirmation of Their Worldview
A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.
Duncan Merchant from Rochdale,...
Greggs is not for us; says Jersey
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
