Teenagers

Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...

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The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep

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A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Theresa May

May announces referendum to abolish office of Prime Minister

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Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised...
May and Cameron

Theresa May Attempting To Make David Cameron Look Better In Retrospect

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Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged. Speaking...

Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!

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A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5...

Power Hungry Admins Have New Axe To Wield

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With the advent of the all new ‘mute button’, passive, aggressive bitches everywhere are in their element. We spoke to one such angry woman,...

Controversy Rages Over New Polymer Five Pound Note

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In one month's time, the Bank Of England will roll out the new polymer five pound banknote, replacing and ultimately phasing out the familiar...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

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Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...
Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

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LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...

Jeremy Corbyn confirmed as contestant for Strictly Come Dancing 2017

It's shaping up to be another great year for Strictly Come Dancing as yet another political star is confirmed on the line up to...

NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles

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In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns? If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...

Theresa May to woo younger voters with some fava beans and a nice chianti

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It was announced this morning by ToryDinners4U, a think tank specially focused on food service and traditional conservative values, that the prime minister will...
Slipping

Team GB aim for Olympic Gold in ‘Slipping over while carrying the shopping home’

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Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have...

Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove

Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.

No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis

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After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.  “We have...

Change of fart for Donald

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Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'. Traditionally, it has been used as: a term for flatulence ...

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