Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...

11
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

13
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for  Re-Referendum

0
Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming...
Pregnancy

Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...

24
The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as...

Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal

0
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...

Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay

2
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...

Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth 

Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
Man Reading Menu

Man reading menu is just going to have the burger

0
A Haywood man has spent the last 10 minutes reviewing each item on the menu at a Pub Bistro in Haywood only to decide to...

Anna Soubry appointed official Tory Deflector

0
After Miss Soubry's stellar and wholly forgettable performance for the remain campaign, she was deemed perfect for the role. A tory deflector will typically take...
Houses of Parliament

Government exempts itself from report on racism

4
The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...

McCartney soils himself in public, again

0
McCartney has once again made a huge arse of himself in public, this time by taking a shit with his clothes on in the...

Royal Doulton to produce commemorative Alex Salmond Toby Jug 

0
The iconic British pottery company which was established in 1815 made the announcement yesterday. Managing Director, Timothy Clay, said; "Toby Jugs were always a popular item...

Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party

0
After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure. The Tory Party has long...

Corbyn stands on box labelled Schrödinger’s jobs brexit at Labour conference

0
The Labour conference in Brighton today will feature an entertaining diversion when national treasure Jeremy Corbyn takes to the stage and stands on a...

Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn

Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

0
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...

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