Jeremy Corbyn has apparently been put under investigation by the electoral commission after reports emerged that he has allegedly offered one million arts, drama and media studies students tax free bribes of £50,000 each to vote for the Labour Party.
A spokesman for the Labour Party allegedly said something similar too;
“Obviously it’s not a bribe and it’s purely a coincidence that one million students registered to vote when we promised to cancel tuition fees. Completely coincidental.”
Pottery and Media Studies Student at Rochdale Community University Flanella Titchmarsh (27) said;
“Well obviously all that stuff about ending homelessness and nationalising the Post Office is important, but not important enough for me to vote. But I heard I could save fifty grand just by voting I thought, who knew there was so much free stuff? I’m a socialist after all.”
Chairman of Rochdale Chamber of Commerce is said to be thrilled.
“There’s a real shortage of candidates for call centre jobs with 2:2’s in vital subjects such as Surfing, David Beckham Studies and Golf Management. This policy goes some way to ensuring this shortage is addressed. Who am I kidding? There are no jobs for graduates with useless degrees. Except politician perhaps.”
When asked whether this new policy proposal had been fully costed Angela Rayner told us.
“I didn’t finish the sums bit of school so Diane Abbott did the adding up. It’s only going to cost £30 extra a year per student. Bargain.”
The Liberal Democrats refused to comment.