The ITV reality show Love Island has been slammed recently for being ‘a shallow excuse to show some flesh in the name of broadcasting entertainment.’

However, it’s viewer ratings show that people either dont care and just want to see sex and nudity on screen, or genuinely see a deeper aspect of the show.

John Finch, a single man living with his mother in Haywood, is a fan of Love Island and says the show gives him hope.

“The show is full of real people in real situations. As a single 38 year old living at home it gives me tips on how to approach women and it gives me a better understanding of women and what their wants and needs are.”

We asked John if there was any woman on the show he could meet, who would it be and why.

“Definitely Amber. She has an amazing personality and seems to be really friendly and down to earth. I have a lot of respect for her.” Said John as he readjusted a semi-stiffened gym sock over his penis.

“Cracking tits as well.”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.