Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text
In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message.
The victory follows the incredible shift...
Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash.
The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...
Unfortunately, Jimmy Carr survives breakthrough surgery
With great regret, surgeons at Kings College London have released a statement confirming the successful operation to remove a rogue dog toy squeaker that...
Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded
Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name
The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables.
It no longer...
Woman admits she was more than a little turned on by badly executed handbrake...
A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man's poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on.
Speaking exclusively to the Herald...
Twitter removes blue tick from Donald Trump’s account
In the latest shake-up to twitter's format, the website have taken to removing the ticks from people for various reasons. Hatemongers have been particularly...
Wars of the Roses to be Re-Run
10 Downing Street has this morning announced that The Wars of the Roses are to be re-fought via a referendum for each decisive battle.
It's...
Knives sharper than the tools carrying them
Causes of knife crime confirmed to be poor choices of dead victims
As knife crime continues to plague the streets of the capital, a bleeding...
Homeopaths proposal for huge protest march against NHS cuts watered down
Homeopaths planning a protest march against NHS cuts have begun watering down their plans.
The United Kingdom’s largest association of diluted medicine, Et Aqua, initially...
Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”
In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Meat Loaf isn’t dead
Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive.
The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
