Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn’t something they would do

Following a recent incident where a man did something which statistically is most frequently done by men, other men would like to remind you that not all men are like that man.

A spokesman, and well, it would be a spokesMAN, I mean what kind of second wave/radical/Marxist feminist bullshit is spokesperson, it just sounds weird, but anyway I digress, a spokesman said:

“This thing, done by a man. Well, not all men are like that. I mean, some of us are nice.  Aren’t we? Sleep with us? Please?”

The views of the spokesman were shared by online commentator and personal hygiene enthusiast, Glenn Lobster:

“Look, just because I have watched something very similar to what I hope very much was the build up to the aforesaid incident, on pornhub, does not mean I personally would do that. I mean, it’s obviously wrong, to get caught like that.”

Many men, potentially a significant majority, but clearly not all, have adopted the hashtag, #notallmen to show their views on such incidents perpetrated by men. These men are keen to highlight the flaws in any article that suggests the prevalence of the thing predominantly done by men could be reduced were men to adjust their behaviour, or be supervised.

“I’m a father of daughters, which really taught me how to respect women,” said Manny McManus to his wife, who was unavailable for comment after accidentally opening a kitchen cupboard door into her face.

Other women were available for comment, but we ignored them, obviously.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?