Shops Brace Themselves for Annual 24th December Man Shop of Well Packaged Shite
Man Shop's Eve - the day men buy all their Christmas presents using no thought or imagination based only upon the quality of packaging that might get away without being wrapped is looming large...
Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist
The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man with the caption "terrorist" sent him over the edge.
News broke...
Eastenders ‘Let’s Make a Success of Brexit’ Special to air every night
BBC smash hit soap 'Eastenders' has been ordered by the Culture Secretary to throw its weight behind Brexit and help make a success of it.
The initiative will see dead characters resurrected and retired cast...
Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools.
Professor Andrei Clewsov of the Sutton Coldfield Institute of Bullying told the Herald, "What...
Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform
Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform.
Mr Cushway aka Lord Pyre, bassist of the "Nazi vampire" themed...
Government to tackle loneliness in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots
The government has announced plans to tackle social isolation in the elderly by converting them into WiFi hotspots.
The Department of Digital, Culture, Media & Sport aims to have over 90% of the nation's pensioners...
Euro 2020 tournament to be played on XBox, UEFA confirms
The European Football Championship 2020 is to be played on XBox, UEFA has told The Rochdale Herald.
In the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, European football's governing body has taken the decision to play Euro...
New Doctor Who to charge for consultations according to Jeremy Hunt
As science fiction fans eagerly await the announcement from the BBC about the identity of the umpteenth actor to play the timelord, The Rochdale Herald has uncovered evidence of austerity in the licence fee...
Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers. In an article entitled, 'Let our teachers be heros' ...
Dry January downgraded to reduced drinking January
A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead.
Bill Board spent New Years Eve loudly telling friends and family...
I am still relevant, insists Nigel Whatsisname
EU milker and former leader of has been political party UKIP, Nigel Farage has gotten all salty after the government refused to give him a job on the say so of his buddy Donald...
Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country
Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly qualify as jobs.
In remarks that may stir new consternation abroad,...
British Homeopathy Association to strike over watered down labelling
The British Homeopathy Association has announced a planned strike over government plans to label their medication as being ‘useless’.
The head of the British Homeopathic Association announced the move. There will be a .00000001 second strike...
New £50 note to be made of foie gras
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as a double blow to angry vegetarians, who found out that the...
Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and the tragedy at the Grenfell tower block.
Nevertheless, the Herald has...
Token female cycling club member thrilled to have been described as attractive
A magazine feature by Cycling Weekly on the Hinckley Cycle Racing Club from Leicestershire was lambasted today after going to print with the caption ‘Token attractive woman’ on a photograph of a female club...
