Corbyn says we’re going to build a wall and Sturgeon is keen to pay...

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Communist rabble-rouser and socialist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, today announced the central plank of his party's manifesto pledge will be to build a wall between England...
Teenager

Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120

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Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...

Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.

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Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter. A regular at Rochdale's...

Conservatives horrified at ‘meagre’ income of BBC presenters

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On Wednesday in was revealed to the public how much some of our favourite BBC Presenters earn, as well as some rubbish ones too. The...

World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets

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The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...

Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film

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His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga. Warning: contains spoilers Shooting began today for the latest...
Blue Planet

Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...

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The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...

Rochdale RHS Britain in Bloom judges catch a Bellsprout

Members of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) were visiting Rochdale this week as part of the judging of the North West in Bloom competition. Each...

Man Flu Worse Than AIDS Cancer And Ebola Combined Say Scientists

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We've all heard of the dreaded Man Flu in our time, but a team of scientists in Rochdale have finally catalogued the full effects. “The...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

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Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

Companies forced to list massively racist employees

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British companies are to be made to publish lists of how many employees are nasty and racist, under new plans announced by home secretary...

Stoke returning officer opened wrong envelope: Nuttall real winner!

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Stoke's election Returning Officer was forced to admit to an embarrassing mistake when he opened the wrong envelope and declared Labour had won. "I was...
Kuenssberg

Labour apologise for accidentally not running over Laura Kuenssberg

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The Labour Party leadership have taken to social media today to whole heartedly apologise for accidentally running over a BBC Cameraman, Giles Woolerton, this morning.

NRA and Gideons to issue guns in bibles

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In response to the recent awful church shooting, the question has to be, why can’t everyone have guns? If everyone was armed this wouldn’t...

Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron

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Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back". Mr Farron said...

Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals

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Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A...

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