Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election
After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an...
Winter Olympics shock after allegations that many of the events are just an elaborate...
Brenda "Brenda" Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that...
5G blamed for amnesia as thousands of twats forget to be Islamophobic
Amidst growing concern from the internet's top pseudo-scientists about the risks posed by mobile technology, yet another coal has been added to the fire.
According...
If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday
Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars.
The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...
That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86
That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
TV producer just can’t quite find the right Kraftwerk song for Tour De France...
Local TV producer and sound editor has expressed 'exasperation' in his struggle to find exactly the right song by seminal German synth pioneers to...
Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract.
Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...
Theresa May to be replaced by heavy slow moving rain shower
“Rain shower means rain shower."
Ant or Dec to present Saturday Night Takeaway without Ant or Dec
Ant or Dec is going to present ITV's Saturday Night Takeaway on his or his own for the rest of this series, it has...
Yoga All About Getting Your Head Up Your Own Fundament
It’s always been said that there’s more to yoga than the lotus position, but it has been revealed recently that the true aim is...
Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Ryanair to start offering passengers a punch in the face for £12.99
Ryanair's Michael O'Leary has told passengers that the airline will start offering people a punch in the face for as little as £12.99 from...
Breadxit: The Great British Taken Off
Love productions, the company behind mindless dirge The Great British Bake Off, has said its show will no longer appear on the BBC after...
