10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced cashier calling for a new till to be open.
So far...
Women Still Not Going Down Regularly Enough Say Men
The most recent figures for the UK Prison Population gender gap show men getting sent down at record levels with women going down barely at all. As the number of prisoners hits 126,000 and...
People who wanted our country back surprised to discover that it’s still here
Eurosceptic holidaymakers are swapping Corfu for Cornwall, Lanzarote for Llandudno. British travel agents report that Brits are going to UK destinations they never knew existed.
"We couldn't go to Paris, obvs," says Frances Horrible, "so...
Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
The resignation comes after the DUP repeatedly took more than their...
Christian Groups outraged as Multi-faith revamp of Teletubbies features NO Christian Character
Rochdale's creative industry seemingly received a huge boost last week as local TV production firm, Hot Pot Productions, was awarded a £6 million BBC contract to produce one hundred episodes of the revamped children's...
Children thrilled it’s only three UKIP leaders till Christmas
Have your children been counting down the days since the end of the summer holidays?
Christmas is coming up fast and nobody is more excited than us here at The Rochdale Herald. The pubs are...
Singer-songwriter Phil Collins to release Death Metal album
Phil Collins is set to release an album of previously unheard material made up of songs classified as being from the extreme subgenre of heavy metal music.
The Grammy award winning artist confirmed that...
Judd Trump To Change Name By Deed Poll
Snooker player Judd Trump has announced that he is to change his name by deed poll following a series of incidents whereby people saw his surname and associated him with SCROTUS Donald Trump.
“It’s been...
Shock as Pudsey Bear arrested just one hour before Children in Need goes live
The BBC is in a state of chaos and panic this evening as they desperately scramble to find a replacement for Children in Need stalwart Pudsey Bear, who was sensationally arrested on fraud charges...
Pete Tong devastated after career ending snaps revealed
Pete Tong was said to be devastated this morning after learning that his career as a top international DJ is effectively over.
The former Radio 1 DJ awoke this afternoon to discover that all of...
Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row
Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish have caused outrage and disbelief in Rochdale this week.
One worker,...
Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl
Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago.
Her parents, Mick and Janice, left Abigail and her two siblings;...
Laura Kuenssberg is a parrot confirm scientists analysing Twitter
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural historians.
Avian studies experts from the Rochdale Museum of Modern Natural...
David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test earlier today.
A spokesman told us, "Earlier today Mr Blunkett used...
Boris Johnson makes it perfectly clear that he doesn’t know his R’s from his...
In an historic address to the nation this evening, People's Supremo Boris 'BloJo' Johnson outlined the roadmap back to the new normality that opposition MPs have been crying out for these past seven weeks.
Key...
Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium
Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.
The news was revealed to her, she claims, by Richard Whiteley's spirit during...
