May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse
As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse.
The ambitious plans to boost the UK textile industry in "grim northern...
Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit.
Cliff Edge told the Herald, "It's really inspirational even now. I don't know what...
Euro 2020 tournament to be played on XBox, UEFA confirms
The European Football Championship 2020 is to be played on XBox, UEFA has told The Rochdale Herald.
In the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, European football's governing body has taken the decision to play Euro...
Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun
“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.
Friendless satirists reduced to talking in headlines on closed satire sites
Since the negative publicity surrounding "hoax news" networks, aka SATIRICAL FACEBOOK PAGES, much of their activity has been curtailed by certain leading executives of the social networking provider.
Many of the public sites have been...
David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
No binary education says May
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the past".
The Rochdale Herald has this to say:
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Rochdale Prostitutes Challenge Putin’s Claim ‘Russians are Best’
Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are the best in the world.
"I dunno what criteria they're using,...
Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton
Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week.
She was spotted by Mrs Smelta Ratt whilst on the...
Tinky Winky to return half of salary after identifying as a woman
BBC bosses have demanded that Teletubbies star Tinky Winky hand back half the wages ever paid over the course of the show after she came out as transgender.
Media spokesman for the BBC Brian Smith...
Jeremy Corbyn washes the muddy feet of Glastonbury goers
This year's Glastonbury festival has turned into something of a spiritual and political awakening of the masses, as Jeremy Corbyn attended the annual arts festival to deliver a speech on unity and hope.
Jeremy was...
Diane Abbott suspended from Labour Party for calling Tory Front Bench ‘crackers’
Labour Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, has been suspended from the party after it emerged she was accused of using a racist slur during a public discussion about the Conservative Government.
Diane Abbott, the MP...
May must undergo final quest before triggering Article 50.
The Prime Minister faces another Brexit challenge today as it is revealed Royal Assent was not the final requirement to begin negotiations with the EU.
Due to a misinterpretation of a prophecy, May must now...
Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban
International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party also plans to apply to all full face coverings worn...
If you’ve got something to say to me say it to my face, says...
Rochdale resident Rhona Rumbelow, 32, reacted angrily to something someone may or may not have said to someone else on Saturday at Swingers' nightclub formerly The Dog Inn.
Speaking on Facebook with the help...
Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...
The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
