A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA believed in Santa Claus, 80 per cent refuted utterly the notion that Donald Trump could be real.
Elvira Hoviss, a 7 year old from Vermont said “A perma-tanned ridiculously bewigged racist misogynistic huckster being elected to be President? That’s like a woman pricking her finger which causes her to go to sleep until woken by a handsome prince. Utter bullshit if you ask me. Which you did.”
7 year old Linus Warburghton from Arkansas agreed. “My parents used to use stories about President Trump to trick me into behaving or going to sleep. They said unless I did what they said this ‘President Trump’ would build a wall around me while tanking the American economy and grabbing my sister’s kitten, or something. I soon got wise though.”
However, Brandiii Soreen (7) from Minnesota was not so sure “I think President Trump exists and he’s more dangerous than Gru, The Grinch and Buxton from ‘Dougal and the Blue Cat’ rolled together.”
However older sister Sindiiii told her “Quit being such a baby! If Donald Trump existed, he’d be in prison by now.”
A mentally-aged 7 year old known only as ‘Donald Junior’ said “Quit making fun of my dada.”