Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears

7
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg frustrated by number of GDPR messenger pigeons arriving at his dovecot

0
Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the...
corbyn momentum twerp

Political satire not funny when it’s about Corbyn, says humourless twerp

24
Taking the mick out of Tories is fine but leave Corbyn alone, according to Frank Lennon, a Rochdale Momentum member. "The Tories are evil and...
Spice Girls

Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall

0
Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...

Government’s Brexit staff all writing “Trekking in Nepal” on CV’s

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Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV's today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as "Trekking in Nepal". All the...

Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin

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Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU. The news comes after...
Young boy, smiling proudly,  wearing police uniform holding a whistle and a truncheon

Rochdale – Police Given Emergency Powers to “Get Tough” After Bexley Brawl

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Following the largest known brawl on the streets of Britain in the post war period, Police have been given extra powers to "get tough"...

Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still an attractive pig says David Cameron

1
Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong...
Surprised Santa

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours

Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

New Canesten ad campaign to be fronted by The Flaming Lips

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that the makers of Canesten feminine products, have allegedly announced in a top secret press release that their...

UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...

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The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...
Prime Numbers

Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers

In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...

Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact

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UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...

Homeopathy shop closed after vegan snake oil found to contain old wives tails

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A Rochdale homeopathy shop has been forced to close this week after it was discovered to be selling vegan snake oil containing old wives...

Liberal elite should stop bullying Stalin says Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail has instructed its readers to avoid the film, The Death of Stalin. In an editorial piece the Mail said, "This film...

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