Power Hungry Admins Have New Axe To Wield
With the advent of the all new ‘mute button’, passive, aggressive bitches everywhere are in their element.
We spoke to one such angry woman,...
Move classrooms into pubs, says government
After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...
Vegetables ‘have feelings too’ top scientists discover
Happy raspberries, disappointed carrots and furious parsnips may not be the stuff of fairy tales, top food scientists have shown.
Researchers were observing the effect...
Man from Del Monte faces deportation
Amber Rudd has confirmed that the Man from Del Monte is to be deported.
The man who arrived in the UK in the 1980's recently...
Man who can tie his own shoelaces favourite to win Burnley’s Got Talent
Headlining the, new, ITV Spring schedule is the hit series, Burnley's Got Talent, hosted by one of the Ant and Dec twins.
Described by the...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity.
Catchphrases repeated to the point...
Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return
More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT...
Obviously McCanns done it, case closed by bloke down the pub
After ten years everybody and their dog is still absolutely convinced that they know exactly what happened in the Maddie McCann tragedy in Portugal.
“It’s...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge
Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...
Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges
"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded.
Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on...
Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”
Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook".
We can only imagine what kind...
Labour manifesto to revolutionise politics by getting rid of the Labour party
The Labour Party has revealed a manifesto that will revolutionise British politics by getting rid of the Labour Party.
Speaking to the Herald a spokesman...
Brexit talks in crisis after Michel Barnier unfriends David Davis on Facebook
The UK's negotiations with the EU hit a stumbling block today, after it emerged that Michel Barnier has unfriended David Davis on Facebook.
Brexit secretary...
Trump apologises for misreading email.
President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days.
The President was...
