John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot. The whole thing started when Diane made a complaint that a jogger had pushed her under a bus in May.
It was alleged that the identity of the jogger was John McDonell. Something he initially denied saying he was at home working on the Labour Party manifesto at the time.
However, footage has emerged identifying McDonell as the jogger.
One eyewitness told the Herald, “We saw this old guy jogging and this lady approach. It all looked normal until he pushed the lady towards the bus. We jumped off to see if the lady was alright. When we realised it was Diane we figured we couldn’t be bothered, got on the bus and carried on.”
The allegations took a bizarre term when McDonell seemed to confirm having done it but not realising it was Diane. A spokesman said, “John often throws people under buses. That’s his secret to success. Had he realised that it was Diane he’d have gone back and helped.”
This was then contradicted by staff at McDonell’s office who told the Herald that Mr Mcdonell knew what he was doing and was just demonstrating his solidarity with Venezuelan socialists by throwing people under buses.
The confusion was further compounded when Ken Livingston’s office said, “John thought he saw a Zionist approaching whilst he was out. John quite rightly thought the Zionist was going to oppress him and deny him his rights. He tried to prevent this in the only way possible. By pushing the Zionist under a passing bus.”
McDonell for his part said that he hadn’t pushed Diane. He was greeting her enthusiastically as the thought of sharing a battle bus with her filled him with an uncontrollable urge to hug her. As he brushed against her she was off balance but it was Momentum that carried her into the path of the bus.
When asked about the incident Jeremy Corbyn said, “I’m sure there was nothing malicious meant. I’ve shared a bed with both Diane and John and know them to be people of the highest integrity.”
