Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive.

He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an optimum diagonal route between his front door and his gate post, saving him possibly all of two seconds on his way to the bus stop and back each day.

Accordingly, his car will remain parked on the road, just inside the turning circle for you to pull into your drive.  His frankly dilapidated vehicle will sit where he left it and he doesn’t care what you think.

He will briefly consider moving it after it gets keyed, which you of course know nothing about.  Similarly when his wing mirror gets knocked off.  But, still he will leave it where he feels like.

Your complaints to the Council will fall on deaf ears, literally.  Depending on your political beliefs, you will interpret the aforesaid to mean either (1) cuts mean there is no operator to listen to your call, or (2) positive discrimination means they have employed deaf people in the call centre [how’s that for balance BBC?] and we aren’t going to tell you which it was.

You will spit feathers, figuratively, as you tell the neighbours on the other side “he hardly ever drives that car, I don’t know why he doesn’t stick it in his drive, or, and I know I am PUSHING IT LIKE THE RED BUTTON, maybe even his garage.”

However, you will calm down when you remember that whilst he has parked the car on the pavement, it’s not like he has driven it on the pavement whilst trying to hit people like some utter inadequate scumball.

In doing so, you remember, we, the people of Rochdale, and of Britain, deal with dickheads every day, and they will not win.