Rochdale Man’s attempt to iron his shirt declared a blazing success
Unbelievably, a Rochdale man has found the iron and ironing-board and pressed his Friday night drinking shirt, unaided. Last Friday, Alan Bloke (37) was...
Man bored of virtue-signalling monthly initiatives launches ‘Punch In The Facepril’
A Rochdale man who has had enough of your shit with your 'Ocsober'; 'Mowvember' and 'Veganuary' has decided to punch you all in the...
I’m definitely not addicted to my smartphone, says person reading this on her smartphone
A Rochdale woman has told her friends that she's definitely not addicted to her smartphone, whilst reading a news story about people being addicted...
Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy
Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy?
Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...
Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas
A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas.
Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...
Brainless moron shaves 30 seconds off his drive home by doing 70 through the...
One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him...
What to do when your dog dies in your hot car
Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...
“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends
Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends.
Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...
‘Research confirms Coffee holds key to immortality’
There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds...
I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi
Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area. ...
Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult
A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult.
Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...
Middle aged man who bought passata just one small step from red skinny jeans...
Rochdale man Stan Still is just a short step away from buying skinny red jeans according to his girlfriend.
Alga Rithem, Stan's partner for the...
Couple spend entire evening on Netflix before deciding what film to watch at 1am
Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in...
Getting drunk and falling over is the real meaning of Christmas, says everyone
Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the...


















































