Community schools plan morning assemblies in Mosques

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Community schools are to hold mandatory morning assemblies in Mosques across the borough, it has been announced. Rochdale Council made the announcement earlier today, releasing...

Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot

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Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132. The...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford

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Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...

Spell Check a Racist crashes Facebook

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Facebook was in chaos today after the soaring popularity of the Spell Check a Racist (S.C.A.R.) page caused a stack overflow causing the entire...

University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.

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The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Terminator

Kids told not to worry about GCSE results as they will be ‘no use’...

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Children have been told that GCSE's will be of no use in the coming land war with the robots. The education Secretary Justine Greening has...

What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?

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The 5th of March is World Book Day. On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...
Old Graduate

University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles

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The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...

Terror in the skies Part 2

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The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...

Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...

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There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
Young Couple

Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report

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Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
A Level Results

A-Level students celebrate being just three years away from £30,000 debt and a zero-hours...

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Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard them into a lifetime of insurmountable debt and soul-crushing...
Professor

Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies

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Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...

OED announces Word Of The Year

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The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...

Corbyn electoral commission investigation for bribing one million media studies students

Jeremy Corbyn has apparently been put under investigation by the electoral commission after reports emerged that he has allegedly offered one million arts, drama and media studies students tax free bribes of £50,000 each to vote for the Labour Partyp
Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...

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