University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.

0
The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Book

World book day sparked hate incident

0
An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale. Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...

Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers

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The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Professor

Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies

5
Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...

Syrian Parents outraged by cost of Trips to Disneyland

Syrian parents took to social media yesterday in support of Jon Platt, the British father who the Supreme Court deemed to have broken the...

Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents

0
People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...
iPhones

Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...

0
After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been...

Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”

0
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of...

What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?

0
The 5th of March is World Book Day. On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...

OED announces Word Of The Year

0
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
Old Graduate

University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots

83
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet. A lower-level investigation...

Britain fails GCSE Economics, Business Studies, French, German, Spanish and History

0
Great Britain was disappointed to learn that she has completely failed GCSE ecomomics, business studies, history, French, German and Spanish today. While GCSE pass rates...
Philosopher

Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster

0
Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles. “My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...

Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin

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Make your own Original Trumpkin! Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...
Scientists

Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity

0
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford

0
Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...

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