Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents

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People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...

Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.

Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...

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There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...

Change of fart for Donald

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Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'. Traditionally, it has been used as: a term for flatulence ...

Corbyn electoral commission investigation for bribing one million media studies students

Jeremy Corbyn has apparently been put under investigation by the electoral commission after reports emerged that he has allegedly offered one million arts, drama and media studies students tax free bribes of £50,000 each to vote for the Labour Partyp

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford

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Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...

University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.

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The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...
Young Couple

Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report

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Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Oxford

Elitist Oxbridge totally to blame for educational standards, says Department of Education

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Look, an elephant, go on, shoot the elephant Oxbridge, as we all well know, is a pair of incredibly elitist and stuffy institutions, full of...

Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot

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Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132. The...

Fury as school rebrands Snow Angels Multifaith Snow Deities

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A Greater Manchester primary school has today come under heavy fire from Christian groups as they took the step of dropping reference to one...
Book

World book day sparked hate incident

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An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale. Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...
Philosopher

Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster

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Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles. “My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...

What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?

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The 5th of March is World Book Day. On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...

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