A Level Results

A-Level students celebrate being just three years away from £30,000 debt and a zero-hours...

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Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard them into a lifetime of insurmountable debt and soul-crushing...

Community schools plan morning assemblies in Mosques

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Community schools are to hold mandatory morning assemblies in Mosques across the borough, it has been announced. Rochdale Council made the announcement earlier today, releasing...
Terminator

Kids told not to worry about GCSE results as they will be ‘no use’...

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Children have been told that GCSE's will be of no use in the coming land war with the robots. The education Secretary Justine Greening has...

University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.

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The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...

Fury as school rebrands Snow Angels Multifaith Snow Deities

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A Greater Manchester primary school has today come under heavy fire from Christian groups as they took the step of dropping reference to one...

Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot

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Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132. The...

Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
Prime Numbers

Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers

In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Corbyn

Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout

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Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone. He will tell supporters that, under...
Scientists

Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity

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Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

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A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...
Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
iPhones

Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...

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After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not...
Book

World book day sparked hate incident

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An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale. Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...
Teenagers

A-Level students share their entertaining delusions about making the world a better place

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As we do every year, every damn year, we headed down to Rochdale Sixth Form College. Next to Hopwood Hall College, in what our...

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