Community schools plan morning assemblies in Mosques
Community schools are to hold mandatory morning assemblies in Mosques across the borough, it has been announced.
Rochdale Council made the announcement earlier today, releasing...
Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools.
Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies
Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...
Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror
In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...
That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids
A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils.
St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...
University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation...
Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Terror in the skies Part 2
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...
OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play
A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.
The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report
Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas
Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island
School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided.
Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...
Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Elitist Oxbridge totally to blame for educational standards, says Department of Education
Look, an elephant, go on, shoot the elephant
Oxbridge, as we all well know, is a pair of incredibly elitist and stuffy institutions, full of...
Spell Check a Racist crashes Facebook
Facebook was in chaos today after the soaring popularity of the Spell Check a Racist (S.C.A.R.) page caused a stack overflow causing the entire...
