Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas
Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation...
Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...
After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said;
"Injustice has been...
Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror
In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...
Corbyn electoral commission investigation for bribing one million media studies students
Jeremy Corbyn has apparently been put under investigation by the electoral commission after reports emerged that he has allegedly offered one million arts, drama and media studies students tax free bribes of £50,000 each to vote for the Labour Partyp
University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.
The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...
There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
Kids told not to worry about GCSE results as they will be ‘no use’...
Children have been told that GCSE's will be of no use in the coming land war with the robots.
The education Secretary Justine Greening has...
University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles
The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report
Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Bubble wrap producers report record sales as schools prepare for new year
As pupils prepare to merrily go back to school their parents are preparing for the big celebration.
In recent years, parents have been edging ever-closer...
Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford
Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...
What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?
The 5th of March is World Book Day.
On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...
