Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster
Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles.
“My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...
University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles
The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...
University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation...
University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.
As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...
Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...
There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
May gives UK schools education 101
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas
Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
Corbyn electoral commission investigation for bribing one million media studies students
Jeremy Corbyn has apparently been put under investigation by the electoral commission after reports emerged that he has allegedly offered one million arts, drama and media studies students tax free bribes of £50,000 each to vote for the Labour Partyp
Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot
Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132.
The...
Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools.
Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout
Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone.
He will tell supporters that, under...
