Britain fails GCSE Economics, Business Studies, French, German, Spanish and History
Great Britain was disappointed to learn that she has completely failed GCSE ecomomics, business studies, history, French, German and Spanish today.
While GCSE pass rates...
Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island
School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided.
Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...
Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout
Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone.
He will tell supporters that, under...
Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents
People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...
University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation...
University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles
The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...
Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...
There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.
The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.
The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...
Terror in the skies Part 2
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...
Change of fart for Donald
Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'.
Traditionally, it has been used as:
a term for flatulence
...
Community schools plan morning assemblies in Mosques
Community schools are to hold mandatory morning assemblies in Mosques across the borough, it has been announced.
Rochdale Council made the announcement earlier today, releasing...
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster
Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles.
“My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...
