Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
Old Graduate

University of Life under investigation as graduates don’t understand basic legal principles

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The University of Life's School of Law is under investigation today after a study found that 98% of its graduates don't understand the basic...

Fury as school rebrands Snow Angels Multifaith Snow Deities

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A Greater Manchester primary school has today come under heavy fire from Christian groups as they took the step of dropping reference to one...
Theresa May

Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs

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In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Teenagers

A-Level students share their entertaining delusions about making the world a better place

13
As we do every year, every damn year, we headed down to Rochdale Sixth Form College. Next to Hopwood Hall College, in what our...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

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The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...

Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents

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People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
Professor

Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies

5
Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...

Terror in the skies Part 2

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The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...
Prime Numbers

Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers

In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...

Community schools plan morning assemblies in Mosques

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Community schools are to hold mandatory morning assemblies in Mosques across the borough, it has been announced. Rochdale Council made the announcement earlier today, releasing...

University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.

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As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...
iPhones

Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...

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After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been...

Britain fails GCSE Economics, Business Studies, French, German, Spanish and History

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Great Britain was disappointed to learn that she has completely failed GCSE ecomomics, business studies, history, French, German and Spanish today. While GCSE pass rates...

Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin

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Make your own Original Trumpkin! Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...

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