Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs
In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout
Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone.
He will tell supporters that, under...
Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster
Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles.
“My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...
University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.
As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...
Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents
People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...
Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting
A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy.
The teacher, who asked not...
University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking idiots
Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet.
A lower-level investigation...
Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.
The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin
Make your own Original Trumpkin!
Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...
Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”
Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools.
Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford
Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...
Change of fart for Donald
Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'.
Traditionally, it has been used as:
a term for flatulence
...
Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot
Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132.
The...
Britain fails GCSE Economics, Business Studies, French, German, Spanish and History
Great Britain was disappointed to learn that she has completely failed GCSE ecomomics, business studies, history, French, German and Spanish today.
While GCSE pass rates...
