Education

Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying for some time to come up with a measure of...

The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden Travelodge this afternoon. Twatbasketry, a noun, is defined as 'Pertaining to...

Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of the Sutton Coldfield Institute of Bullying told the Herald, "What...

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.

In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime numbers. A prime number is a number that can only be...

The 5th of March is World Book Day. On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their children up in costumes and try to outdo...

A Greater Manchester primary school has today come under heavy fire from Christian groups as they took the step of dropping reference to one set faith from Snow Angels to prevent causing offence to...

An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale. Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school dressed in full Waffen SS regalia. We contacted Gareth's father, Mr Trevor...

Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'. Traditionally, it has been used as: a term for flatulence a term in the cards game of Bridge a term...

The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph he "found". "Most undergrads can't tell the difference between Burgundy and...

A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not to be named, said "When we first announced the parts...

People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status quo of modern free market capitalism is drummed into their...

In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding changes to schools in England. "Our education policy sub-committee has...

As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking, including a year of 'On The Job' training. Ian Jaggs, speaking...

After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been around as long as mankind, but in recent years every instance...