Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.

Change of fart for Donald

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Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'. Traditionally, it has been used as: a term for flatulence ...
Terminator

Kids told not to worry about GCSE results as they will be ‘no use’...

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Children have been told that GCSE's will be of no use in the coming land war with the robots. The education Secretary Justine Greening has...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not...
Corbyn

Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout

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Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone. He will tell supporters that, under...

OED announces Word Of The Year

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The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...

Syrian Parents outraged by cost of Trips to Disneyland

Syrian parents took to social media yesterday in support of Jon Platt, the British father who the Supreme Court deemed to have broken the...

Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...

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There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
Theresa May

Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs

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In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...
Book

World book day sparked hate incident

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An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale. Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...

Fury as school rebrands Snow Angels Multifaith Snow Deities

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A Greater Manchester primary school has today come under heavy fire from Christian groups as they took the step of dropping reference to one...

Terror in the skies Part 2

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The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...

University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.

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As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...

Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot

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Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132. The...
Professor

Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies

5
Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...

Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers

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The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....

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