Change of fart for Donald

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Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'. Traditionally, it has been used as: a term for flatulence ...

Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin

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Make your own Original Trumpkin! Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...

University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.

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As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...
Book

World book day sparked hate incident

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An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale. Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford

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Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

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The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...

School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island

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School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided. Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

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In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...

OED announces Word Of The Year

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The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
Scientists

Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity

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Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...

Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents

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People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

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A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...

Britain fails GCSE Economics, Business Studies, French, German, Spanish and History

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Great Britain was disappointed to learn that she has completely failed GCSE ecomomics, business studies, history, French, German and Spanish today. While GCSE pass rates...
A Level Results

A-Level students celebrate being just three years away from £30,000 debt and a zero-hours...

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Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard them into a lifetime of insurmountable debt and soul-crushing...
Professor

Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies

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Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...
Oxford

Elitist Oxbridge totally to blame for educational standards, says Department of Education

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Look, an elephant, go on, shoot the elephant Oxbridge, as we all well know, is a pair of incredibly elitist and stuffy institutions, full of...

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