Book

World book day sparked hate incident

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An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale. Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...

Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...

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There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson to fund scholarship for white working class kids to go to Oxford

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Tommy Robinson has announced on A-level results day that he will be funding two White Working Class British students to go to the University...
Scientists

Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity

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Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

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A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

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A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...
Theresa May

Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs

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In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...

University of Life wondering where all its economics graduates came from.

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The University of Life has expressed surprise at the number of people on Facebook claiming to have studied there and who are suddenly experts...
Corbyn

Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout

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Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone. He will tell supporters that, under...
Bubble Wrap

Bubble wrap producers report record sales as schools prepare for new year

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As pupils prepare to merrily go back to school their parents are preparing for the big celebration. In recent years, parents have been edging ever-closer...

Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin

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Make your own Original Trumpkin! Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...

Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot

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Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132. The...
Philosopher

Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster

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Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles. “My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...
Professor

Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies

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Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...

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