Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal
Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.
Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?
The 5th of March is World Book Day.
On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...
Terror in the skies Part 2
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...
OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play
A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
Change of fart for Donald
Leading language experts are calling for a change in the classification of the word 'trump'.
Traditionally, it has been used as:
a term for flatulence
...
Daily Mail demands children be taught anatomy using dead bodies of their teachers
The Daily Mail has today announced that school pupils in England should be taught anatomy using the dead bodies of their previously living teachers....
Corbyn electoral commission investigation for bribing one million media studies students
Jeremy Corbyn has apparently been put under investigation by the electoral commission after reports emerged that he has allegedly offered one million arts, drama and media studies students tax free bribes of £50,000 each to vote for the Labour Partyp
Shock as major philosopher is revealed to be a prankster
Didier Noyu, who identifies as an‘Anarcho-Realist’, admits to making up schools of thought for shits and giggles.
“My latest one was ‘meta-post-structuralism’,” Noyu writes...
Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas
Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day
A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do.
HM Prison Buckley Hall...
Spell Check a Racist crashes Facebook
Facebook was in chaos today after the soaring popularity of the Spell Check a Racist (S.C.A.R.) page caused a stack overflow causing the entire...
Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report
Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
A-Level students celebrate being just three years away from £30,000 debt and a zero-hours...
Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard them into a lifetime of insurmountable debt and soul-crushing...
World book day sparked hate incident
An unfortunate faux pas occurred yesterday at St Timothy's primary school in Rochdale.
Gareth Brown, a year 5 pupil was sent home after arriving at school...
