Kindergarten of Common Sense to offer clear path way into School of Hard Knocks,...

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There was fantastic news for around 52% of the country today, as the famous School of Hard knocks officially announced their brand new subsidiary...
Theresa May

Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs

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In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...

OED announces Word Of The Year

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The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
iPhones

Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...

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After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been...
Professor

Department of Education announce Degree in Hindsight to prevent all future tragedies

5
Civil servants and politicians from a wide range of governmental departments are throwing their weight behind a Department of Education proposal to create a...
A Level Results

A-Level students celebrate being just three years away from £30,000 debt and a zero-hours...

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Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard them into a lifetime of insurmountable debt and soul-crushing...
Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...

Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot

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Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132. The...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not...
Scientists

Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity

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Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

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Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function"...

Left wing politics should be kept out of schools, say right wing parents

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People who are quite happy to have their kids going to schools where the armed forces recruit, monarchy is glorified and the status...
Corbyn

Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout

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Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone. He will tell supporters that, under...

Terror in the skies Part 2

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The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...

School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island

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School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided. Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw...

Fury as school rebrands Snow Angels Multifaith Snow Deities

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A Greater Manchester primary school has today come under heavy fire from Christian groups as they took the step of dropping reference to one...

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