5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.

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The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.

Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame

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 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

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In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding

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Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...
Laptop

Not all men, say men

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Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn't something they would do Following a recent incident where a...
Rioters

Riots as Car Boot Sales End

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Riots have broken out across England as towns and villages end car boot sales for the winter. Police have reported disturbances across the country as...
Police

US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”

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US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...

Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad

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Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;

Sir Philip Green in Robin Hood Shocker

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Serial cash withdrawer Sir Philip Green has caused fresh controversy today with claims that revered British folk hero Robin Hood was the' worst sort...
Ronald McDonald

Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home

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The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

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A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

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Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Angry White Man Daily Mail

Government hires Daily Mail readers to beef up security strategy

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Downing Street has announced plans to employ Daily Mail readers as a team of specialist civilian advisers as it steps up efforts to improve...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

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An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...

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