Crime

News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.

A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...

This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...

Giggs Johnson (17) was found guilty of murdering his father at Rochdale Court yesterday. In an unusual move the foreman of the jury addressed...

Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...

Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier. The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...

Haunted hatstand Jacob Rees-Mogg has been forced to issue an apology today after he was snapped drinking mead on the night bus on Tuesday.  The...

Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...

News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...

There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

Rising crime rates and the falling numbers of policemen on the streets are just an amazing coincidence and are in no way related, sources...

Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case. The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded...

The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man...

Two robbers who robbed Michael McIntyre are to receive an award for services to comedy following their actions. One of the two robbers, most recently...

The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...

NYPD are looking for a thief who managed to carry an 86lb (36kg) bucket of gold flakes worth $1.6m (£1.2m) off a truck in...