Amber Rudd confirms extra police will be provided from Magic Bobby Tree
The Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, said “The Met have deployed extra police to reassure communities especially those observing Ramadan."
This is the fourth time...
Rochdale Murderer Caught
There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed...
Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls
Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...
Rochdale man thrown from office window
A Rochdale man is in a critical condition after he was thrown out of the third floor window of his office kitchenette.
Mr Dickinson (39...
Deranged cycle path murders his spell checker
Rochdale police have announced they have comprehended and changed a man in his fortes for the brittle killing of his spell checker.
In a statesman, a...
Beautiful young women on trial to be judged by ugly middle aged women in...
A new selection process has been announced for assigning judges to trials, taking into account both gender and aesthetics. This move will see all...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence
America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....
Intentional explosions totally different to terror
After around 30 people were injured, many more shocked and people consequently feeling terrified, New York officials are keen to point out that the...
Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.
Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl
Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago.
Her...
Trump’s Alt-Assassination. The Facts.
Reports that Donald Trump had been assassinated by a mentally disturbed right-wing white Southerner were denied by the White House yesterday.
The world press was...
Unmasked – The Real Jack the Ripper
The question of the identity of the serial killer known as ‘The Whitechapel Murderer’, ‘Leather Apron’ or, most famously Jack the Ripper has been...
Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers
Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade.
It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...



















































