Deranged cycle path murders his spell checker

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Rochdale police have announced they have comprehended and changed a man in his fortes for the brittle killing of his spell checker. In a statesman, a...
Police

Amber Rudd confirms extra police will be provided from Magic Bobby Tree

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The Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, said “The Met have deployed extra police to reassure communities especially those observing Ramadan." This is the fourth time...

Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding

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Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...

Tommy Robinson fitted with Cone of Shame

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Ex-EDL frontman turned solo hate preacher, Tommy Robinson, has become the first human to be fitted with a "cone of shame." Medical professionals deemed the...
The Old Bailey

Dramatic confession as video found guilty of radio star murder

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A 38 year old killing was finally resolved at the Old Bailey yesterday as Video Charles Robinson, commonly known simply as 'Video' was found...

Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

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News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...
magistrates court

Teenager with first name ‘Giggs’ finally, inevitably, murders his father.

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Giggs Johnson (17) was found guilty of murdering his father at Rochdale Court yesterday. In an unusual move the foreman of the jury addressed...
Guantanamo Bay

G4S win contract to run Guantanamo Bay

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Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

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A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.

“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green

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The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...

Racial profiling proves racist police guilty of racial profiling

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Two Florida police officers have been found guilty of being racially prejudiced in a Facebook trial. The damning evidence came when it was pointed...

Man beaten white and gold by the Police

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We at the Rochdale Herald really liked this headline but couldn't think of a way of making even slightly believable. What follows is some made...
Ross and Rachel

Beer thieving ‘Ross’ looklike sentenced to watch every single episode of ‘Friends’.

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A shoplifting, David Schwimmer look-a-like has been sentenced to watch every single episode of 'Friends' in one sitting, including 'The One Where They Were...

Forensics Team called after Amber Rudd murders her career

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Home Secretary Amber Rudd sounded like your mate's racist pissed wife at a children's Christmas party during her speech yesterday. West Midlands Police have said...

US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts

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In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...
magistrates court

Rochdale Man jailed for 15 years for leaving teabag in sink

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Rochdale man Steve Dickinson (38 and a half) has been convicted to 15 years in prison after being found guilty of leaving his teabag...

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