Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

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News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...

Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame

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 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Paramedics transporting Nigel Farage to the ambulance

Rochdale man thrown from office window

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A Rochdale man is in a critical condition after he was thrown out of the third floor window of his office kitchenette. Mr Dickinson (39...
Ronald McDonald

Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home

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The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is...

Three in critical condition after tragic scone miss-pronunciation attack

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Police have closed access to Battenburg street in Middleton today as the investigation into an altercation at the Middleton tea rooms has left three...

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

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A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

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Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Cat's Eyes

Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes

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The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...

Jeremy Hunt victim of cruel nominative determinism sting operation

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?UK health secretary Jeremy Hunt has fallen victim to a cruel nominative determinism sting operation perpetrated by an East European cockney rhyming slang gang,...
Police

Amber Rudd confirms extra police will be provided from Magic Bobby Tree

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The Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, said “The Met have deployed extra police to reassure communities especially those observing Ramadan." This is the fourth time...

Rochdale Murderer Caught

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There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed...

Obviously McCanns done it, case closed by bloke down the pub

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After ten years everybody and their dog is still absolutely convinced that they know exactly what happened in the Maddie McCann tragedy in Portugal. “It’s...

Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons

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The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...

Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.

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Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.  He was followed and...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

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The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

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In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...

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