In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding changes to schools in England.

“Our education policy sub-committee has been working flat out.” The Isis-thing stated.

“We had to respond. When a group of backbench Conservative MP’s contacted us asking advice, it was a call to action. How could they best de-stabilise community cohesion in the large urban areas of England?”

The changes proposed by the fanatics, and eagerly adopted by many Con MPs, will see debilitating funding cuts to large, city schools and not enough re-allocated to underfunded rural areas.

“It’s very gratifying.” The large human stain added. “We were validated when they adopted our Free Schools policy some years ago. It’s going to wreak havoc. Give it ten or twenty years. You allow different religious groups to segregate their offspring? And the taxpayer funds it? Genius.”

So they weren’t surprised to be asked by the Secretary of State for Education to have another swing at destroying English schools.

“The infidels will fire their TA’s. They will downgrade the pay grade of support staff to breadline wages. They will force parents to supply stationery. They will sell the last scraps of playing fields. They will strip funding from ESL programmes. We may not see out our current five year plan. But God will still be praised thanks to the Fair Funding Formula!”