British Transport Police

Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...

0
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...

Party with nothing to hide announce plan to close Serious Fraud Office

0
Conservative plans to abolish the Serious Fraud Office has absolutely nothing to do with the investigations into rich Conservative supporters,said a spokesgrunt for the...

Teresa May in Dogging Scandal

0
This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...

Man beaten white and gold by the Police

0
We at the Rochdale Herald really liked this headline but couldn't think of a way of making even slightly believable. What follows is some made...

Scatter Cushion Killer walks free

0
Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case. The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded...

Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition

2
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.
Angry Man Shouting

Dyslexic holocaust denier accused of being anti-semantic

0
"It's them Joos again!" exclaimed Noel Iteracy. "I hate Joos, except Orange Juice, they was a good band, but Big Country was huge twats...
Police

US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”

0
US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...

Cocaine price plummets after death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson

0
The National Crime Agency has warned MP's that the Class A drug is 'set to flood the market' after the untimely death of Tara...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

0
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

0
Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...

Deranged cycle path murders his spell checker

0
Rochdale police have announced they have comprehended and changed a man in his fortes for the brittle killing of his spell checker. In a statesman, a...

Daily Mail editor accused of Crocodile Tears following Polish migrant murder

0
The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man...

Knives sharper than the tools carrying them

0
Causes of knife crime confirmed to be poor choices of dead victims As knife crime continues to plague the streets of the capital, a bleeding...

Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar

1
Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a...

Three in critical condition after tragic scone miss-pronunciation attack

0
Police have closed access to Battenburg street in Middleton today as the investigation into an altercation at the Middleton tea rooms has left three...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts