Beautiful young women on trial to be judged by ugly middle aged women in...
A new selection process has been announced for assigning judges to trials, taking into account both gender and aesthetics. This move will see all...
“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green
The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...
Police advise public to ‘grow up’ over rise in clown related call outs
Police call handlers up and down the country have been inundated with calls from concerned citizens in relation to a bizzare new craze in...
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Study finds people with pixelated faces 70% more likely to commit crime
A study carried out by some of the country's top criminologists has highlighted a surprising correlation between people with pixelated faces and a predisposition...
Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.
Expansion of stop and search powers opposed by MPs and other criminals
Leaked Home Office document shows that the high concentration of police at the entrance to Parliament could lead to unprecedented levels of stop and...
Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry
Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...
Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl
Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago.
Her...
Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
Jeremy Hunt victim of cruel nominative determinism sting operation
?UK health secretary Jeremy Hunt has fallen victim to a cruel nominative determinism sting operation perpetrated by an East European cockney rhyming slang gang,...
Pooh denies grooming allegations
Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him.
The bear, who was linked to a series of...
Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star
News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
A Mexican man...
Trump’s Alt-Assassination. The Facts.
Reports that Donald Trump had been assassinated by a mentally disturbed right-wing white Southerner were denied by the White House yesterday.
The world press was...
US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”
US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...
Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members
The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the...
