Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable

Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday. James Cannings (12) is said to be a little overwhelmed by...
gavel and block

Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney

As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called to the stand and indicted himself, for incitement. In the federal...
Criminal have pixelated faces

Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members

The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the Mafia found him innocent yesterday. 4 Tony's lawyer told...

Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl

Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago. Her parents, Mick and Janice, left Abigail and her two siblings;...

Rochdale mum binge watched Netflix documentaries and is now blood spatter expert

52 year old mother of two Janice Longthorne has spent so many hours watching Netflix shows such as 'Making a Murderer' (seasons one and two) and 'The Staircase' that she now believes she is...

H revealed to be H in shocking Line of Duty twist

In a shocking plot twist the mysterious crime boss 'H' has been revealed to be H in the finale of Line of Duty In a move that left viewers...

Jacob Rees-Mogg snapped drinking mead on the night bus

Haunted hatstand Jacob Rees-Mogg has been forced to issue an apology today after he was snapped drinking mead on the night bus on Tuesday.  The outspoken Conservative MP and...

America relieved NYC bomber a terrorist and not a white guy

The United States was relieved to hear that the explosion that ripped through NYC earlier in the week wasn't the act of a lone wolf or somebody with a mental illness but probably a...

God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite

Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act. It comes after the Garda completed their investigation into alleged blasphemy during a 2015...

Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar

Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a spate of panic buying quickly escalated into bitter violence, looting...
Peter McCallister

Peter McCallister found dead after triggering booby trap

Peter McCallister, has been found dead at the foot of his stairs within his home 671 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka, Illinois. The Police are treating the death of father of five as suspicious. Detective Paul Simmons...
Toddler Prisoner

Government plans to lower age of criminal responsibility to 2 YEARS OLD

To help with the deficit, the government will be lowering the age of criminal responsibility to 2. The age of criminal responsibility is currently 10 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and 12 in...

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Police Raid

Jobs with street value of £25 million found in flat of immigrant scrounger

The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble together enough roles to keep the unemployed potential workforce earning...

An analysis of the situation regarding the shooting down of MH17

The West: Well, Russia. What do have to say for yourself?  Russia: Vot? I don't know vot you are talking about.  The West: That missile! We investigated and found out it was a Russian missile,...
Michael McIntyre

People who robbed Michael McIntyre receive award for services to comedy

Two robbers who robbed Michael McIntyre are to receive an award for services to comedy following their actions. One of the two robbers, most recently seen in the front row at a Stewart Lee gig,...

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