Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

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Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
magistrates court

Teenager with first name ‘Giggs’ finally, inevitably, murders his father.

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Giggs Johnson (17) was found guilty of murdering his father at Rochdale Court yesterday. In an unusual move the foreman of the jury addressed...

Police call time on sex pests

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Paedophile sex pests across England and Wales are to be fitted with bells, in a new scheme announced by the police today. The new devices...

Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons

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The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

Obviously McCanns done it, case closed by bloke down the pub

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After ten years everybody and their dog is still absolutely convinced that they know exactly what happened in the Maddie McCann tragedy in Portugal. “It’s...

5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.

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The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.

Man behind Anonymous turns out to be 13 year old boy from Rochdale

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Fans of computer hacker extrordinaires and Internet fighters for justice, Anonymous, will be feeling very let down today with the news that the mastermind...

Tommy Robinson fitted with Cone of Shame

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Ex-EDL frontman turned solo hate preacher, Tommy Robinson, has become the first human to be fitted with a "cone of shame." Medical professionals deemed the...

Forensics Team called after Amber Rudd murders her career

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Home Secretary Amber Rudd sounded like your mate's racist pissed wife at a children's Christmas party during her speech yesterday. West Midlands Police have said...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

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The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
Green

Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers

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Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

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America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...

Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

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News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...
Boy with toy machine gun isolated on a white background

That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence

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America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....

Man kills woman

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A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article...

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