An analysis of the situation regarding the shooting down of MH17

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The West: Well, Russia. What do have to say for yourself?  Russia: Vot? I don't know vot you are talking about.  The West: That missile!...
Rochdale paramedics

Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man...

Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets

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Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
Rioters

Riots as Car Boot Sales End

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Riots have broken out across England as towns and villages end car boot sales for the winter. Police have reported disturbances across the country as...
Asda

Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1

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Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Cat's Eyes

Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes

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The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...

Rochdale Murderer Caught

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There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

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An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...
Blackeye

999 rescue for man who misunderstood the meaning of ‘rape robot’

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A dramatic and embarrassing rescue involving two fire engines and four police cars was underway this morning, after one man failed to realise his...

Jeremy Vine in road rage incident.

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Television and radio opinion blower Jeremy Vine was subjected to a road rage incident while cycling to work in London yesterday.  He was followed and...

H revealed to be H in shocking Line of Duty twist

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In a shocking plot twist the mysterious crime boss 'H' has been revealed to be H in the finale of Line of Duty In a...

Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free

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Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl

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Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago. Her...
Police

Expansion of stop and search powers opposed by MPs and other criminals

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Leaked Home Office document shows that the high concentration of police at the entrance to Parliament could lead to unprecedented levels of stop and...

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