Rioters

Riots as Car Boot Sales End

Riots have broken out across England as towns and villages end car boot sales for the winter. Police have reported disturbances across the country as scores of car boot enthusiasts gathered to protest against the...

Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?

Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop and search' policy. It is understood that the introduction of the...

EDL firebombs PC World in Rochdale town centre

The computer superstore PC World, this morning lies in tatters as a pile of smouldering rubble following a devastating attack last night.  The trouble began early yesterday when the EDL and Britain First Facebook pages...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her own kitchen. Mlle. Fromage-Burger, who is renowned for appearing on the...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in no way affiliated with or agree with the views of...
Young boy, smiling proudly,  wearing police uniform holding a whistle and a truncheon

Rochdale – Police Given Emergency Powers to “Get Tough” After Bexley Brawl

Following the largest known brawl on the streets of Britain in the post war period, Police have been given extra powers to "get tough" in South East London after a huge fight involving more...
Police Raid

Jobs with street value of £25 million found in flat of immigrant scrounger

The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble together enough roles to keep the unemployed potential workforce earning...

Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man carrying a sledgehammer was arrested shortly after the event but...

An analysis of the situation regarding the shooting down of MH17

The West: Well, Russia. What do have to say for yourself?  Russia: Vot? I don't know vot you are talking about.  The West: That missile! We investigated and found out it was a Russian missile,...

Man Dressed As Batman Chasing Man Dressed As Clown Captured By Man Dressed As...

Rochdale Town Centre, and a man dressed as Batman who has been spotted in the locale chasing a man dressed as a Killer Clown has reportedly been captured by a man dressed as his arch...
Hillsborough

Hillsborough survivors reassure families of Grenfell Tower victims that justice will be swift

Hillsborough a fine benchmark. Reports are reaching Herald HQ that Grenfell survivors paused on their way out of the tower to loot the dead. They then joined the drunken firemen and other first responders in...

Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable

Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday. James Cannings (12) is said to be a little overwhelmed by...
Shoplifter

Beautiful young women on trial to be judged by ugly middle aged women in...

A new selection process has been announced for assigning judges to trials, taking into account both gender and aesthetics. This move will see all beautiful young women judged in future by ugly middle-aged women,...
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the shooter. The tragic news that at least 5 people have been...
Terroist

ISIS Claim Responsibility for Chimney Destruction in Kent

So called ISIS or Islamic State today sensationally claimed responsibility for the destruction of the the Grain Power Station Chimney in Kent. In a Facebook post of the group claiming to be "ISIS In Romford,...

Man beaten white and gold by the Police

We at the Rochdale Herald really liked this headline but couldn't think of a way of making even slightly believable. What follows is some made up tripe about a load of crap that makes no...

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