America relieved NYC bomber a terrorist and not a white guy

1
The United States was relieved to hear that the explosion that ripped through NYC earlier in the week wasn't the act of a lone...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

0
The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...

Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat

0
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Toddler Prisoner

Government plans to lower age of criminal responsibility to 2 YEARS OLD

0
To help with the deficit, the government will be lowering the age of criminal responsibility to 2. The age of criminal responsibility is currently...

Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition

2
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.

Tommy Robinson fitted with Cone of Shame

108
Ex-EDL frontman turned solo hate preacher, Tommy Robinson, has become the first human to be fitted with a "cone of shame." Medical professionals deemed the...
Milk Tray Man

Milk Tray man jailed for breaking and entering

0
A former chocolate delivery man broke into dozens of women’s homes over a 50 year period leaving unwanted chocolates and creepy handwritten notes. Gary Myers, 76...
magistrates court

Teenager with first name ‘Giggs’ finally, inevitably, murders his father.

0
Giggs Johnson (17) was found guilty of murdering his father at Rochdale Court yesterday. In an unusual move the foreman of the jury addressed...
Shoplifter

Beautiful young women on trial to be judged by ugly middle aged women in...

0
A new selection process has been announced for assigning judges to trials, taking into account both gender and aesthetics. This move will see all...

Julian Assange’s camper van racks up £19,700 in parking fines

0
The Rochdale Herald can reveal that Julian Assange's camper van has run up £19,700 in parking ticket charges. The van was left on Cadogan Place a...

Forensics Team called after Amber Rudd murders her career

2
Home Secretary Amber Rudd sounded like your mate's racist pissed wife at a children's Christmas party during her speech yesterday. West Midlands Police have said...
Rioters

Riots as Car Boot Sales End

0
Riots have broken out across England as towns and villages end car boot sales for the winter. Police have reported disturbances across the country as...

Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty

65
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...

Reports of widespread rioting across UK takes government by surprise

3
Tonight, the U.K. Is in disarray. The major cities of London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham are in lockdown with reports of outbreaks of...

Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...

0
A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate. Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

0
Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts