Beautiful young women on trial to be judged by ugly middle aged women in...
A new selection process has been announced for assigning judges to trials, taking into account both gender and aesthetics. This move will see all...
Hillsborough survivors reassure families of Grenfell Tower victims that justice will be swift
Hillsborough a fine benchmark. Reports are reaching Herald HQ that Grenfell survivors paused on their way out of the tower to loot the dead. They...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
People who robbed Michael McIntyre receive award for services to comedy
Two robbers who robbed Michael McIntyre are to receive an award for services to comedy following their actions.
One of the two robbers, most recently...
Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim
Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members
The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the...
Sir Philip Green in Robin Hood Shocker
Serial cash withdrawer Sir Philip Green has caused fresh controversy today with claims that revered British folk hero Robin Hood was the' worst sort...
US Police Report Record Start to Season After “Glorious Twelfth”
US Police are have reported a record start to the Season after the traditional start to the Civilian Shooting Season with Tulsa leading the...
Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable
Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday.
James...
Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter.
Police were called in the...
Party with nothing to hide announce plan to close Serious Fraud Office
Conservative plans to abolish the Serious Fraud Office has absolutely nothing to do with the investigations into rich Conservative supporters,said a spokesgrunt for the...
Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...
The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM"...
Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...
The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
Cuts in police lead to cuts in Londoners
Leaked Home Office document reveals correlation between law enforcement and criminality.
A fall in police numbers is likely to have contributed to a rise in...
